10 Weirdest Merchandise That You Won’t Believe Exist

Owning a great piece of merchandise can make you feel so connected to your favorite band or fandom. It’s something tangible that you can show off that says, “Yes, I’m a real fan.”

But some products are quite available. Many of these come from the musical fringes, but there are a few from more popular brands that will make you question everything you know. (Just wait until you see what comes out of the Harry Potter collection).

From oddities that defy explanation to downright quirky creations, we’ve plumbed the depths of consumer culture to bring you the top ten weirdest merchandise ever conceived.

Related: 10 Popular Songs Given the Rock Treatment

10 Weezer’s fake mustache set

Weezer is a band that always surprises us with their quirky antics, both musically and now with their merch. In 2021, the alt-rock legends dropped their album Okay man. Besides the tunes, they graced the world with something truly bizarre. Weezer, in all their mustachioed glory, introduced a Fake mustache set as part of their merchandise range.

Because nothing says rock ‘n’ roll like a fake ‘stache.

Who in their right mind would buy something like that? Apparently quite a few fans did that. Maybe they wanted to channel their inner Rivers Cuomo, the band’s lead singer. Or perhaps they just wanted to add a touch of whimsy to their lives? Who knows. But that’s Weezer for you.

9 The Kiss Chest

Some people really mean it when they say they would die to see their favorite band. And if that’s you, and you happen to be a KISS fan, you can get one KISS chest. Unveiled in 2001, this is not your ordinary final resting place. It is the ultimate ticket to the great beyond, with a front row seat to eternity. Get your own coffin, decorated with the iconic faces of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and the rest of the legendary KISS rock band.

According to the always entertaining Gene Simmons, the KISS Kasket has some cool features. It provides a fitting send-off for die-hard KISS fans, allowing them to rock and roll all night long, even in the afterlife. It also doubles as a drink cooler. Simmons himself said, “It serves two purposes. You can take your last ride with your favorite band. But as long as you live, you can catch a cold.”

So whether you’re planning the ultimate rock ‘n’ roll eternity or just want a cool talking point for your next party, the KISS Kasket is here to make your life (and the afterlife) a little more extraordinary.

8 Spartan leather briefs from Film 300

Have you ever wished your underwear matched your favorite Gerard Butler movie? They actually did that Spartan leather briefs inspired by the epic movie 300. Leather briefs inspired by ancient Spartan warriors. Who even comes up with this stuff?

You know you want a pair of leather briefs that would make King Leonidas himself do a double take. These underwear are not just any underwear; they’re a bold statement, a fashion choice that screams, “I’m here to conquer the day… or maybe just the gym.”

These briefs may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but fashion is all about self-expression. So if strutting your stuff in Spartan-inspired leather is your thing, who are we to judge? Remember, when life throws you a challenge, sometimes all you need is a nice leather thong to meet the challenge.

7 DeadMau5’s Cat headphones

If you’ve ever wondered if your cat secretly dreams of becoming a DJ, DeadMau5’s Cat headphones might just confirm your suspicions. We’re talking about headphones designed specifically for cats, complete with “dog isolating technology” (because who wants to bark to interrupt their jam session?) and i4 Sound Engines that promise your cat deep bass and crystal-clear treble.

For just $1,000, your cat can join the ranks of the most discerning audiophiles. But do not worry; they are for a good cause. All proceeds from these downright ridiculous headphones go directly to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). So not only does your furball look cooler than a cucumber rocking high-tech gear, but you’re also supporting a noble cause. It’s a win-win situation!

Now we can’t promise that your cat will belt out sick beats or critique the latest Billboard hits, but hey, stranger things have happened in the world of pet supplies. And let’s be honest: It would be worth every penny to see your cat walking around with DeadMau5’s signature beats on their heads.

6 Stalker gloves from Cannibal Corpse

If you’re going to be a stalker, you need the right equipment, right? In the world of bizarre band merchandise, Cannibal Corpse takes the cake Stalker gloves. Because nothing says death metal more than a pair of nondescript, plain black skin-tight gloves.

Cannibal Corpse concerts are on their own level, surrounded by guitar riffs and guttural sounds. What better way to commemorate the experience than by grabbing a pair of Stalker Gloves? These modest accessories may not make you look like a rock star, but they are sure to raise eyebrows at your next family gathering.

Sold by the masters of brutal death metal themselves, Cannibal Corpse didn’t hold back on this quirky merch idea. Although seemingly ordinary, the gloves exude an air of dark mystery: perfect for the fan who wants to keep it low key while secretly cultivating a taste for following people.

5 Ozzy’s BBQ branding iron

One minute you’re flipping burgers on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and the next minute you’re noticing your own meat… literally. Believe it or not, you can buy one for yourself Ozzy Osbourne BBQ Brand Iron. The Prince of Darkness himself has lent his iconic branding (pun intended) to a set that will have your steaks screaming, “Rock on!”

After all, a barbecue is not the same without the pièce de résistance: a branding iron. Nothing says heavy metal BBQ like searing “Ozzy Rules” on your Porterhouse or New York strip.

The sheer audacity of it all makes this merchandise truly bizarre and undeniably cool. Sure, you might be thinking, “Who in their right mind would want an Ozzy Osbourne branded iron?” But let’s be honest: Once you fire up the grill and harness the power of Ozzy’s logo, you can’t help but feel like a rock star in your backyard. Just remember, “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

4 The Harry Potter vibrating Nimbus 2000

In the strange universe of Harry Potter merchandise, broomsticks don’t just fly, they vibrate. Apparently someone at Mattel thought to themselves, “Imagine if Harry had hopped on his Nimbus 2000 for a Quidditch match and experienced another thrilling ride.” It’s further proof that you shouldn’t share every thought that comes to mind.

But surprisingly, no one vetoed it! In 2001, Mattel decided to shock the magical community with Harry Potter Vibrating Nimbus 2000. It is a replica of a broomstick that, when mounted, vibrates with “flying” movements. Doesn’t it sound more like something you’d find in Zonko’s Joke Shop?

Unfortunately, like a spell that was over too quickly, the Vibrating Nimbus 2000 was quickly discontinued. But fear not, as it lives on in the annals of bizarre merchandise history, with a few still being sold on eBay. So while you won’t find it on the shelves anymore, the memory lingers like a faint hum in the halls of Hogwarts.

3 Tenacious D’s C*mrag

Tenacious D, the legendary rock duo known for their raucous tunes, wild antics and… uh, questionable merchandise? Yes, among the abundance of strange things out there, Tenacious D’s C*mrag certainly deserves a spot in the “What were they thinking?” list.

Imagine a table at one of their concerts. Amid the T-shirts, albums and other typical merchandise, there it is: the C*mrag, proudly displayed like some kind of twisted trophy. The C*mrag is the size of a golf towel (because apparently size even matters when it comes to novelty) and is emblazoned with the band’s logo, making it a collectible for the brave and the bold.

You have to wonder what the thought process behind this gem was. The band got together one day and thought: “A c*mrag! That’s what our fans have been waiting for”? But if there is a market for it, why not? After all, Tenacious D has always danced to the beat of their own drum, even if that beat occasionally leads them down questionable paths.

We can hear Jack Black say, “Go now, my son, and ROCK!”

2 A Star Wars C-3PO tape dispenser

The galaxy far, far away just got a little closer to your desk. They actually have one Star Wars C-3PO tape dispenser. If you run out of tape on a Monday afternoon, C-3PO comes to your rescue, or at least his lower half.

This vintage merchandise gem features everyone’s favorite gold Protocol droid on a roll of tape. Need a piece? You have to pull it from between his legs. We may have to categorize this as NSFW or you might get a visit from HR.

You’ve got to hand it to the folks at Lucasfilm, though. It’s weird but kind of funny (which is an accurate description for C-3PO anyway). So the next time you need to tape something together, why settle for a boring old tape dispenser when you can get C-3PO to lend a hand and a leg? May the power (of sticky adhesion) be with you.

1 The Flaming Lips vibrating fetus ornament

On Christmas Day my true love gave me… Trembling fetus ornament?

I think it’s safe to say that we left the most messed up things for last – and that’s saying something based on this list! The Flaming Lips really outdid themselves this time. These 3-inch glasses will have you both scratching your head and reaching for the nearest Christmas decoration.

Created with a disturbing mix of whimsy and curiosity, the Trembling Fetus Ornament is both a conversation starter and an enigma. Released as part of the band’s unusual merchandise collection, this quirky trinket showcases their talent for pushing boundaries beyond music.

But why a shaking fetus? Known for their over-the-top performances and eccentric album covers, The Flaming Lips have a knack for the unconventional. So next holiday season, as you cover the halls with fetus branches, remember that The Flaming Lips have once again created the strangest Christmas tree decoration you never knew you needed.