Any parent who has watched their child robotically scroll through social media feeds bathed in blue light has wondered what effects this could have on their mental health. And in the past two weeks, both the US Surgeon General and the American Psychological Association have warned of the risks of social media for young people. So what should parents do?
“Families need to take this seriously,” says Dr. Gary Small, the chair of psychiatry at Hackensack University Medical Center. But he added that teens’ social media use wasn’t inherently good or bad; rather, parents should take a hard look at how it affects their children, and whether it improves their lives or hinders their ability to “function and learn” in life.
The New York Times asked Dr. Small and other adolescent development experts for a few practical questions parents should consider when evaluating their children’s use of social media.
Does my child participate in a “varied and meaningful” range of activities every day?
This question can be a helpful starting point, said Dr. Jenny Radesky, the co-medical director of the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health at the American Academy of Pediatrics. Does your child like other daily activities or get a sense of fun from them, including some not in the virtual world?
‘Are they playing baseball? Are they going to ballet?” repeated Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, the president of the Child Mind Institute. If kids do something other than go to school and spend time on screens, they may well have a balanced and healthy relationship with social media, even if they’re on it every day, he said.
Also consider whether social media is your child’s main emotional outlet, said Dr. Radesky: “When the most important thing is to help children feel better when they’ve had a stressful day or need to escape.” If so, that could be a warning sign that you need to help them find other coping strategies, whether it’s going for a walk, playing with a pet, reading a book, or something else.
How many hours a day does my child use social media?
There is no clear, evidence-based threshold for how much social media use is too much for young teens and teens, and expert opinions differ. But time is important, said Anne Marie Albano, co-clinical director of the Center for Youth Mental Health at NewYork-Presbyterian, and parents should have a clear idea of how much their kids are online each day.
Dr. Koplewicz says he tends to use a benchmark of no more than four hours of total screen time per day for adolescents, while Dr. Albano often recommends that families spend a ratio of three to five hours of face-to-face socializing or in-person activities for every hour a teen spends on social media.
Adults should also look at their own screen habits, Dr Small said. Parents can multitask or spend a lot of time on their devices near their children. “But they can model their kids on how to have offline time, and how important that is,” he said.
Does my child have trouble quitting?
Kids of all ages tend to be unhappy when their screen time is over, said Dr. Albano, and a certain amount of grumpiness or whining is to be expected.
“But if you see tears, if you see anger, if they yell at you — and if this continues,” that could be a potential red flag, she said.
Quitting is a skill parents can learn, Dr. Radesky said. She has her own children set a kitchen timer to indicate when their screen time is up. If they stop without her having to nag them, they’ll get the same amount of screen time the next day. If not, they get less.
Does it affect their ability to get enough sleep, finish their homework, or generally function on a daily basis?
All experts interviewed emphasized the importance of sleep for young teens and teens, and said parents should consider whether social media is causing them to stay up late. It may help to establish some family rules, such as keeping all devices out of the bedroom at night.
Parents should also pay attention to whether social media use gets in the way of schoolwork or contributes to changes in mood or appetite, which could indicate anxiety. (It may be useful to check for some of the signs of teen depression.)
Dr. Jessi Gold, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, suggested that parents start an open and nonjudgmental conversation with adolescents about the effects of social media and how “it can affect their sleep and it can affect their mood, and it can affect their concentration and self-esteem.
“Social media exists, and it won’t go away,” said Dr. Gold. “So the answer can’t be to approach your teen and say, ‘They said it’s bad for your mental health, so I’m taking down all your screens.'”