Would YOU refuse an upgrade to first class on an airplane to stay with a loved one in economy?

An upgrade from economy to business or first class is one of the holy grails of air travel. But would you turn down the offer to stay with a loved one?

Most would, say Ximena Garcia-Rada, assistant professor of marketing, Texas A&M University, Michael Norton Professor of Business Administration, Harvard University, and Rebecca K. Ratner, Professor of Marketing, University of Maryland, in an article in The conversation…

People will often sacrifice a better experience and opt for an experience that is less fun if it means they get to do it with a loved one – whether that be a romantic partner, close friend, or family member.

That is the main finding of our research published in April 2023 in the Journal of Consumer Psychology.

For example, when taking a flight, two friends may decide to sit in adjacent seats on the bus instead of accepting a free upgrade to non-adjacent seats in first class. Not choosing togetherness can have consequences, as in the “Seinfeld” episode where Elaine endures the humiliations of economy class, leading to anger against Jerry after he chooses to accept an upgrade.

We conducted five studies in different settings and with different social ties, including friendships and romantic relationships. In one study, just over half of people chose two adjacent seats far from the stage instead of two non-adjacent seats closer to the stage when they imagined attending a Cirque du Soleil performance with a close friend, compared with only about a third occupying the adjacent seats when imagining you are present with an acquaintance.

In another study, we asked students whether they would eat one chocolate with someone else — a new friend or a stranger — or two chocolates alone. Half of the people opted for the shared experience — but only if the other person was a friend. Fewer people — 38 percent — opted for the shared experience when the other person was a stranger.

Why it matters

One of the reasons people prioritize physical closeness with close partners is because they want to create shared memories. Importantly, people believe that physical distance can interfere with the creation of shared memories, and so they forego pleasurable experiences without their loved one.

This is also important for companies that want to improve the customer experience, such as an airline that offers free upgrades or reduced waiting times. For example, our findings suggest that consumers traveling with a companion may not take advantage of services such as TSA PreCheck, an airline VIP lounge, or a free upgrade if it is available only to themselves. It also helps explain why consumers don’t like airlines splitting families up in their seat allocation.

However, we also tested some initiatives that marketers can use to encourage people to choose a higher quality experience that requires them to be apart from their partner. In another experiment, we described a train journey as a fun part of an excursion or as a practical way to reach a final destination. More participants accepted a free upgrade – even if they had to sit separately from their romantic partner – when they felt the train journey was beneficial. That’s because they cared less about creating shared memories during the experience.

What is not yet known

We still don’t know how this preference affects relationship quality.

For example, when can time away from your partner actually strengthen the relationship? And how should couples divide their time between lower quality activities done together and higher quality activities done alone? For example, an option for separate activities could be when one partner’s desired activity does not interest the other.

And since people believe that physical closeness is a prerequisite for creating shared memories, how can partners who live in different places also cultivate shared memories? This question is especially important in light of how Covid-19 has enabled more people to work and study remotely.