I discovered I was an incest baby when I dug into the truth about my adoption

WHEN Teresa Weiler struggled to have children of her own, she could never have imagined the sinister reason behind it.

Theresa, 65, knew all her life that she was adopted and was raised in London by father Terence and mother Truda; it was a happy, loving childhood and she knew very little about her biological parents.

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“With my wonderful parents, two older brothers Martin, now 69, and Michael, 67, and sister Fran, 61, my childhood was idyllic,” says Theresa in this exclusive interview.

'I was adopted in 1961 when I was two and a half years old, and adoptive parents were kept in the dark about their child's background.

“We only knew that my biological mother was unmarried and that I was in the newspaper as a girl with 'above average intelligence'.”

Teresa wasn't interested in learning more about her birth family until she held her newborn nephew.

Tracing its roots

She remembers: 'It was 1983 and I was 24.

“As I cradled him in my arms, I was overwhelmed with love.”

The conversation turned from who he looked to remembering everyone's first words and steps, and Teresa's heart sank.

She explains: “I realized that no one knew those things about me and if I didn't have children of my own, I would never be able to create those memories as a mother.”

Teresa was suddenly desperate to have a child and wanted to know more about her biological relatives.

She began researching her biological history, secretly, out of fear that her parents would get hurt.

“I asked social services for my adoption details,” she says.

“Seven months later I was sitting alone in an anonymous municipal office, nervously staring at my file.”

Heart pounding, Teresa read her birth mother's name and the fact that she was 16 when Teresa was born.

She was shocked to see that her father was only 14 when she was born.

Devastating discovery

Then Teresa saw the words that would change her life forever. Her biological father was also her mother's brother.

Her parents were siblings. She was born as a result of incest.

“I just sat there in shock and thought, 'That can't be right.' But it was there in black and white on the page,” she recalls.

“I just thought, this is why no one wanted me, and I remember a wave of illness came over me.

“My thoughts immediately flew to mom and dad. If they had known how I was conceived, they would never have adopted me.”

Filled with self-loathing, Teresa vowed never to tell anyone what she had discovered, believing it would disgust them.

Her hope of one day becoming a mother also disappeared.

“How could I pass this shame on to my children, or even risk them inheriting a terrible disease?” she says.

“In the seconds it took me to read my paperwork, my dreams of motherhood were shattered forever.”

Shameful secret

Teresa not only lived in fear that friends and family would somehow discover her shameful secret, but also hid her sadness about motherhood.

“At first, I went home after seeing my sister and cousin and broke down,” she recalls.

“Every new pregnancy or birth announcement hit me like a physical pain.

“But as the months passed, I buried that fear too. It was the only thing I could do to protect myself.”

Isolated and in turmoil, Teresa's anger toward her birth mother grew.

The shame and worthlessness hit me like a wave, and I still had so many unanswered questions

Teresa Weiler

She needed answers and arranged a personal meeting through social services in 1985.

“When she opened the door to her flat, I was shocked to see someone who looked like me for the first time in my life,” she says.

“Then I saw a man in her living room. I knew immediately that it was her brother: my father.

“Immediately my anger came out. How could they have done this? Did they realize the impact it had on me and my life?'

“After waiting for me to finish, she calmly suggested that I go away and write down all my questions. Then we can meet again.”

Bottling things up

But Teresa never had that chance. When she returned three weeks later, her mother was gone.

“The feeling of rejection was enormous,” says Teresa.

“My parents didn't want me when I was a little kid, and now they had abandoned me again as an adult.

“The shame and worthlessness hit me like a wave, and I still had so many unanswered questions. I would never get the answers now.

For the next fifteen years, Teresa hid her secrets and fears.

Unable to tell her partners why she didn't want children, she ended a happy relationship without explanation.

Her shame and self-loathing never went away, and she couldn't be the patient, understanding woman she so desperately wanted to be.

One day, at the age of 41, Teresa was talking to a good friend and she just couldn't keep quiet anymore.

Comes clean

She says: “It all came out.

“The way I came into the world, the real reason I wasn't a mother, and the fear I had of how everyone would see me if they knew the truth.

'Trembling, I looked at his face, sure that I would see his disgust. But to my surprise he was great.

“He assured me that no one would think differently because of where I came from.

“Instead of horror, he only reacted with compassion.”

Teresa's relief was incredible and her shame began to disappear.

A few years later, she found the courage to tell her siblings, who responded only with love and support.

“Finally, just before I turned fifty, I told mom and dad,” Theresa explains.

“They were heartbroken, but only because I had carried this burden alone for so long. Their love for me was unconditional.”

“Dad died in 2011, at the age of 92, and Mom in 2020, at the age of 93.

“I am so grateful that I told them the truth, and that I had the opportunity to watch their love for me only grow over the years we had together.”

Teresa will always be sad that she never had children, even though she adores her many nieces and nephews.

And now she can speak openly about the secret that tormented her.

“For decades I looked in the mirror and felt nothing but shame and disgust. Now, at the age of 65, I see a strong, happy woman smiling at me,” she says.

“I am someone who has no more secrets, and I know that I always deserved to be loved.”

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