The New Year’s Resolutions That Changed Your Life
I used to make good resolutions that fell apart at the end of January – like my big plan to get my finances in order at the beginning of 2019 (and 2020 and 2021). But last year, after some of my friends lost their parents, I made a decision that I was able to keep.
I decided to talk to these friends about the small but important moments in their lives.
I was told that her mother was the only one who followed up on the little things by asking: How was your doctor’s appointment? Is your dog feeling better yet? How did that cookie recipe turn out?
So now I jot down reminders to ask about a friend’s test results or how their child was doing in school. I also gently encouraged them to make medical appointments.
These everyday exchanges have shifted our friendships into something much deeper, making me feel like my friends are more like family. I realized that often we had only communicated the main points of our lives—a new job, a big breakup—but that the mundane details added structure to our bonds. Nothing says “I see you and I’m watching” more than when a friend texts to ask if your basement is still flooding.
Three weeks ago I asked readers if they had made any resolutions that changed their lives. Here are some of my favorites.
Quotes have been edited for clarity and length.
This year I decided to try one activity: Each evening, a calendar pop-up reminds me to record a “joy note,” and I enter one or more things that brought me joy during the day.
By the end of 2023, I will have 365 or more memories of things that brought me joy. No one else will see my notes, but I will always have them as a record to inspire me. — Denise Abboud, Cleveland
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A New Year’s Eve at work, After picking up three or four pens that weren’t writing, I jokingly said to a colleague, “This year I’ll make one viable decision: If a pen is dead, throw it away immediately.”
My resolution changed from pens to everything: if it is no longer useful to me, I will throw it away, recycle it, sell it or donate it – at least one item a day. I now keep two donation boxes in the garage for a local charity shop. — Dez Crawford, Portland, Oregon.
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When I was a child, I was considered hopeless in the field of physical education. So when a friend invited people to join a fitness challenge in late 2020, I decided this was the moment I would overcome my fear of failure.
We started doing training via Zoom. I didn’t have any weights, so I used soup cans. It was difficult. But over time, I slowly became stronger and more confident. My teacher replaced the soup cans with three-pound weights. My balance started to improve. I discovered that I was very flexible and could become strong. I joined a gym and am really looking forward to training. At age 67, I replaced the “I can’t” attitude of my youth with “Yes, I can.” — Alice Gerard, Grand Island, NY
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In January 2023 I decided to only buy second-hand clothes (except basics like underwear) as my small attempt to help the planet. I love shopping, and I seriously thought I would have a hard time with this. But here we are, almost a year later, and I haven’t bought anything new.
I’ve discovered a new world of thrift stores and apps – and even the joy of shopping in my closet.
My teenage daughter made the same decision, and we spent many wonderful days shopping for great bargains. — Claudia Rosani, Milton Keynes, England
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During the darkest period in my 60 years, I decided to try every new thing that was offered to me. Some were duds, but they all taught me something or made the next new thing easier. Now, two years later, my life looks completely different. I accepted jobs abroad. I have made deep new friendships outside of my typical circle. I have met a partner whom I plan to marry. I am refreshed again. I could never have imagined these results. — Paul Murdoch, Jacksonville, Oregon.
A guide to staying motivated during Dry January
Taking a month off from alcohol can provide a mental and physical reset – and participating in Dry January with others can provide community and support without many questions asked. Experts offer their best strategies for tackling 31 days of sobriety.
Read the article: Considering a dry January? Set yourself up for success.
Ask it right: the 10 most popular questions of the year
Each week, the Ask Well column answers a health question. We’ve compiled the topics that resonated most with readers, including: Is it bad to wash your hair every day? Why do I get constipated when I travel? Is Arthritis Inevitable?
Read the article: Your most important health questions of 2023 answered
The week in Well
Here are some stories you won’t want to miss:
Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow closely Instagram, or write to us at well_newsletter@nytimes.com. And check out last week’s newsletter about the health lessons we learned this year.