‘Just like medicine’: a new impetus for divorce in a country where it is illegal

Almost fifteen years ago, Maria Nepomuceno divorced her husband. She remains in limbo because divorce – and the possibility of a new marriage and a clean slate in life – is prohibited by the laws of her country.

Thousands of people like Ms. Nepomuceno are trapped in long-extinct marriages in the Philippines, the only country in the world, aside from the Vatican, where divorce remains illegal. They live completely separate lives from their spouses, having separated for reasons such as abuse and incompatibility. High legal costs and mountains of paperwork make annulment virtually impossible for many.

Partly because of their growing numbers and plight, attitudes have changed in the country, where nearly 80 percent of the population is Catholic. Surveys show that half of Filipinos now support divorce. Even the president has indicated he is open to the idea, and the Philippines has never been closer to legalizing divorce.

But the issue is far from resolved. The powerful Catholic Church has deemed pro-divorce activism “irrational advocacy.” Conservative lawmakers remain steadfast in their opposition.

This has prompted some in the legalization camp to consider divorce a basic human right, like access to health care or education.

“We say this is like medicine,” said Ms. Nepomuceno, 54. “You only take this when you are sick, but you don’t deprive those sick people of the medicine.”

The approach is a departure from the previous strategy of sharing personal stories in hopes of gaining the sympathy of lawmakers. Now activists are using science and statistics to present the long-term effects that keeping divorces illegal has on millions of battered women.

“We used to cry, we would get angry,” said AJ Alfafara, founder of the Divorce Pilipinas Coalition, which has more than half a million members. “It used to be a fight, how do we get people to listen?”

In recent months, a Senate committee approved a divorce bill for the first time in more than thirty years. The bill now awaits a second reading in the Senate, which lawmakers say could happen next year.

“We are feeling some kind of shift, even in the Senate, and I hope that they will gain momentum and be strong enough to carry this bill to the finish line,” Sen. Risa Hontiveros, the bill’s sponsor, said in an interview.

She added that she was moved by her encounters with activists.

“To me, one of the most compelling themes that came out of it is that this is a second chance – a second chance at life, a second chance at love, a second chance at happiness – and why should we deny people that right?” she said.

Divorce has a complicated history in the Philippines. During the Spanish colonial era, divorce was prohibited, but legal separation was allowed under strict conditions. Under the American occupation it was made legal, but only on grounds of adultery and concubinage. The Japanese, who occupied the Philippines during World War II, expanded the divorce law, giving people more grounds to file for divorce.

That changed after the enactment of the country’s Civil Code in 1950. But Muslim citizens, who make up five percent of the population, are allowed to divorce because Ferdinand E. Marcos, then president, signed legislation in 1977 that made this possible. .

Mrs Alfafara, a Protestant, separated from her husband in 2012. She said she had not seen her son in more than a decade, since he chose to live with his father at age 9. When Mrs Alfafara, 46, who works as a virtual office assistant, wanted to buy a house, she was told to get her husband’s signature.

Keeping divorce illegal means that abusive husbands can retain joint custody of their children and the right to share in their wives’ assets. Another concern is the mental trauma suffered by millions of women trapped in abusive marriages.

Janet Guevarra, 36, spent $5,200 for her annulment – ​​15 times what she earned monthly in the Philippines. To save the money, she quit her job in IT administration and moved to Singapore to work as an assistant at a nursing home. In 2022, a court denied her request, which she had filed three years earlier.

The judge ruled that Ms. Guevarra’s testimony that her husband “grabbed her collar, pushed her and attempted to hit her during heated arguments is not a sufficient basis to prove her claim of physical or verbal abuse.” The judge added: “Marriage, as an inviolable social institution protected by the state, cannot be dissolved by the arbitrariness of the parties.”

Haidee Sanchez, 39, said it pained her every time she had to write her husband’s last name on all official documents. She said her husband, who never provided for her family and was repeatedly unfaithful, tried to strangle her when she confronted him about an affair. She filed for an annulment in 2019, but her request was denied in March.

The judge ruled that Ms Sanchez had failed to prove her case ‘by clear and convincing evidence’.

Some supporters of the legislation have advised against using the word “divorce” to describe it, saying the term has become politicized. Alternative terms such as “legal separation” and “extension of annulment” have been suggested.

Ms. Hontiveros recalled that one of her colleagues advised her: “Don’t call it a divorce law, call it the dissolution of a marriage law.” She followed that suggestion.

“Maybe it will give those who are ambivalent about it or against it another way to talk about it a little less awkwardly,” she said.

Senator Pia Cayetano, a veteran lawmaker and outspoken proponent of divorce, said her Senate colleagues “really recognize that there are cases where it is practically inhumane to have a couple live together.”

“I’ve heard them say things to the effect that there has to be a solution, and they’re happy to support something,” said Senator Cayetano.

Any bill that passes the Senate must also be approved by the House of Representatives before going to the president, who would sign it into law. Unlike his predecessors, President Ferdinand E. Marcos Jr. has indicated he is open to legalizing divorce, although he warned that this “should not be easy.”

Father Jerome Secillano, the executive secretary of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, told a local radio station last year: “It is sad to know that we have legislators who would rather focus on breaking up marriages and the family than on rebuilding them.” of it or strengthening the marital bond.”

Ten years ago, when the Philippine Congress passed legislation giving people access to contraception, clerics staged protests and threatened to excommunicate lawmakers for supporting the bill. This time, says Edcel Lagman, a congressman who has advocated on both issues, church officials have been less outspoken in their opposition.

“We showed we can beat the Church, and we can do it again,” he said with a smile.