My real-life version of the Christmas film The Holiday, I swap home for a date abroad
A woman who found dating in Edinburgh difficult is now mixing up her love life in romantic European cities while working remotely thanks to a home-swapping website.
Kirst Irvine, 40, originally from Newcastle, likened the Scottish capital to a ‘village’ with a sparse dating pool where she would often ‘check in’ with her other single friends to ensure they weren’t dating. other people’s former flames.
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After discovering HomeExchange, a website that facilitates home exchanges abroad, Kirst took the plunge and soon spent a month in various European cities working abroad and immersing herself in a different dating scene.
With a lifestyle that resembles the plot of the iconic Christmas movie The Holiday, she uses dating apps Bumble and Hinge to connect with local suitors, enjoy romantic Vespa rides through Paris at night, spontaneous dates drinking margaritas and charming home-cooked meals.
The senior marketing manager also had some stranger experiences, such as a man who bought her dark chocolates on their first date to “use later as an aphrodisiac,” a goal he didn’t achieve, and another in Berlin who suggested they skip their first date keep it ‘native’ in a popular spa town.
She said: “You should try to increase the surface area for serendipity.
“I’m meeting more people, I’m expanding my community, and while I don’t want to be single at this age, I’ve found the means to keep life varied and vibrant, to experience what it’s like to live in new places and have a build friendship. I like life very much.
“It keeps life interesting.”
Kirst, who moved to Edinburgh from London ten years ago, found the dating scene ‘hard work’.
She added: “Edinburgh is a small city, about half a million people live there, so finding single men in their late 30s, early 40s – it feels like the scarcity effect.
“You see the same faces over and over again and you also have to cross-check with your other single friends.
“Locals call Edinburgh a village and from a dating perspective it can be hard work.”
“You can be at brunch with a friend and say you’re going out with a guy next week, but they slept with him or crossed paths with him a few years ago — the dating pool is pretty small.
“The dating apps aren’t on your side sometimes either and it feels like some people are suffering from dating app fatigue.”
Two years ago, Kirst started working as a senior marketing manager at her company, which she declined to name, but praised her employer for its policy of allowing staff to ‘work anywhere, anytime’.
With this added freedom, she felt a desire to explore other areas by working remotely and delving into new places on the dating scene – which led her to HomeExchange after a recommendation from a friend.
She started by swapping her two-bedroom, two-bathroom flat in Edinburgh for a similar property in London for three weeks in July 2023, before moving to Paris for two weeks in October 2023.
This was followed by a two-week trip to Lisbon in March 2024, Amsterdam for a week in July and most recently a month-long trip to Berlin in September.
She said: “It allows me to experience what life is like living and working in other cities because you can get under the skin a little bit.
“You just have to put yourself out there and be spontaneous. I have had a lot of competitions and it gives my confidence a great boost.
“Vespas have played a big part in my dating abroad – a man I dated for a month in Berlin had a Vespa and we spent weekends hopping in and out, a coffee here, a beer there.
“I went out with a guy who picked me up in his Tesla and we went out for margaritas on Thursday nights. People cooked for me at home, it was fun.
“Being British and blonde – even though it is certainly not exotic – you do stand out a bit.”
“Although I’m looking for fun dates, I also keep my safety in mind and ultimately I’m looking for someone more serious.”
Although Kirst enjoys working remotely and exploring new areas, she acknowledges that dating abroad is “not the perfect solution”.
She added: “Ghosting is an international phenomenon and it never gets easier.
“I only have dates in my calendar where the guy would delete our chat and disappear, without having the decency to cancel.
“If there is ghosting or a man is behaving badly, you have to be your own cheerleader and get back on the horse
“You have to be quite resilient, you have to be comfortable putting yourself out there.
“By doing this I have been able to adapt my lifestyle and keep it affordable. It also supports my attitude that you just don’t know what’s around the corner.
“I have yet to meet him, but I am an optimist… I am already thinking about where I could go in 2025.”
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