My mom wore white to my wedding, but it wasn’t her everyone was talking about
THE wedding season has officially begun and guests know all too well that finding the perfect outfit can be a challenge.
It is important that you do not wear the same outfit as another guest. Do not wear anything too provocative and above all never wear white, especially if you are part of the bridal party.
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However, one mother of the bride decided to buck tradition and showed up to her daughter’s wedding in an all-white ensemble.
Additionally, her daughter Hannah Tomlinson says the dress her mother Vanessa Challen wore actually resembled the dress an older bride would wear.
Hannah, 39, who lives in West Sussex with her husband Russell, 43, tells Fabulous: “The dress she wore was all white.
“It was similar to what an older woman would wear to her own wedding.”
While most brides would be shocked if their mother wore a dress they mistook for a wedding dress on their big day, Hannah had a surprising reaction.
“We just spent a long time looking for a dress for my mom and this was the most beautiful outfit we could find,” she says.
“Because it looked like Nice With her it didn’t even occur to me what color it was.
“I didn’t even really think about it. I just thought it looked Nice and I didn’t care what color she wore.”
Hannah married Russell in a traditional Catholic ceremony, wearing a full white dress with a huge train, while the bridesmaids wore baby blue dresses and pink regulation.
The guests then celebrated the reception in a marquee on the village square where Hannah’s father Paul lives.
Hannah tries not to overshadow her, but says her mother did everything she could to help her with the wedding.
“She played a huge role in the planning process,” says Hannah.
“We have a really good relationship and she wanted to make sure my day was perfect.
“She was even worried about overshadowing the bridesmaids!”
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And while Hannah says her mom’s outfit hardly surprised her, there was one guest in particular who raised eyebrows.
“My cousin wore an all-white suit and his outfit was the talk of the wedding,” she recalls.
“Nobody minded that my mom wore all white, but my cousin definitely got a few comments from almost every guest at the wedding.
“There is a huge history by cricket in my family and everyone joked all day that he looked like he was going to play a game.
“My dear mother looked downright subtle compared to him!”
Aside from her niece’s flashy outfit, Hannah says she doesn’t understand the controversy surrounding wearing white to a wedding.
“I’ve seen it become a bigger problem in recent years,” says Hannah.
“But I think there are so many worse things you can do as a guest.
Do’s and Don’ts of Wedding Dress Codes
By Josie Griffiths, fabulous deputy editor and bride-to-be.
Josie Griffiths said: I will never forget the wedding I went to in October 2022 where one guest wore a white dress.
The dress didn’t fit properly, it reached the knee and didn’t look like a real wedding dress at all, but that didn’t stop everyone from judging her.
The rules for wedding guest outfits – which, unfortunately, are much stricter for women than for men – are supposed to be about “not overshadowing the bride,” which is actually quite difficult to do at someone else’s wedding.
But if you do it wrong as a guest, you’ll come across as a bit ridiculous, and to a lot of people who don’t know you personally.
It’s just not the right occasion for your new white dress, no matter how much online retailers like to dump them in the “wedding guest” category.
I would avoid anything too tight/short and avoid very formal dresses unless the dress code dictates it. You don’t want to be wearing a long sequined dress to a smart casual event.
Personally, I don’t like black dresses either, it’s not a funeral.
Otherwise, you should be pretty safe. Technically, wearing red means you’re in love with the groom, but that’s the kind of rule most people would laugh at these days.
I always check what colour the bridesmaids are wearing, just to be sure. After the Spanish wedding I saw them walking down the aisle in the exact same dress that I had in my Asos shopping bag a few weeks earlier.
If you are in doubt, it is best to ask the bride. But if you are already in doubt about your dress, that may be all the answer you need.
Wedding Guest Etiquette
If you’re having trouble choosing a dress for wedding season, here are a few rules about what not to wear so you don’t get into trouble.
- According to tradition, wearing red to a wedding means you have slept with the groom.
- Informal clothing such as jeans and flip-flops should always be avoided.
- Any color that can be recognized as white or cream, even if it is not.
- Most will agree that your décolletage should be covered.
- Wearing white is absolutely taboo if you are not the bride.
“At my sister’s wedding there was a guest who wore a white dress, which is forgivable, but her plunging neckline was not.
“The whole thing really upset me.”
Hannah says that while others might be angry about her mother’s clothing choices, they have no right to be.
She adds: “I think the only person who can have an opinion is the bride herself.
“If the bride is happy, no one else should comment on it. If she is not happy, don’t wear it.
“That day I knew I was the most special person in the room and that no one could outdo me.
“It never even occurred to me that anyone could outdo me on my wedding day.”
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