Dear Jane,
I have always been very open to trying out adventurous things in the bedroom, but I fear that my husband's most recent obsession is going too far.
You see, we have been married for almost a year and our sex life is far from boring.
We do rolling toys and always use toys. But a few weeks ago my husband suggested that we drive it up and introduce something new.
That 'something new' turned out to be three, and the third person had to become a different girl.
I am bisexual and connected to/dated several women before I met my husband. He says he has always discovered that as an engagement, so I was not shocked to hear him introduce the three of them with another girl.
What I did not expect was this: he said he wanted to imagine that the other girl is Taylor Swift.
It left me speechless. First of all, I didn't know that my husband even knew who Taylor Swift was – he doesn't even listen to her music (on the other hand, I am a big fan, who makes this all the more complicated).
Dear Jane: The Taylor Swift-Cuckolding Kink of my husband gets out of hand. Do other women have similar problems?
I didn't want to disappoint him, I agreed. I made a profile on a few dating apps and I only preferred girls.
For days my husband and I have fought together and decide which girls we both feel attracted to. Every time I match one, and after sending a few friendly messages, I suggest the three.
Most of us immediately bumped us … or refused (some not so polite). See you yesterday!
In the evening I received a message from one of our matches and said she was for the three, and I immediately got a pang of fear. I told my husband and he was so excited.
When I showed him what girl it was, he said she was 'perfect' (she is blonde, lean, long – just like Taylor), which made me feel worse.
Now that the situation is really, I'm not sure if I want to continue with the whole Swift theme – but I don't want to deny my husband his imagination either.
Do I have to try to force a positive attitude and do it, or tell him that I can't handle it and crushes his dreams?
By,
Sexy Swiftie
International best -selling author Jane Green offers wise advice on the most burning problems of readers in her column Agony Aunt
Best Sexy Swiftie,
I'm a bit confused here. You say you have no problem with three, but you Doing Do you have a problem with the imagination of your husband who is Taylor Swift?
Reading your letter a few times, I notice that Taylor Swift is not really the problem, the three is.
Only because you are bisexual, you do not want to say that you automatically introduce another women into your relationship.
The decision to take someone else to the bedroom is something that should be taken into account terribly carefully.
Although there is a current trend for ENM (ethical non-monogamy), it is not Something to absorb light. Both partners must be prepared and on the same page.
You say that you have agreed to three because you do not want to disappoint your husband. This is not a good reason to agree something!
If you had said yes to a trio because it is something that excites you, that would be a completely different story.
It sounds like me to say people saying things to things because you are too afraid of saying no, which can only lead to resentment.
I want you to ask yourself or you Actually Want to bring another woman to your marriage. Forget what your husband wants. If the answer is no, you just don't have to do that.
And if your husband cannot accept your decision, you must think very carefully about your marriage and whether you want to stay with someone trying to force you to do something that you do not want to do.
Compromis is always necessary in relationships, but that does not mean that you have to enter into sexual fantasies that you are not for please your partner.
I strongly recommend the marriage advice and wish you good luck.
