I live with my ex, our child and my new boyfriend, a discovery brought me to tears
A WOMAN has left people stunned after revealing her unique blended family situation.
She took to her TikTok page to share a post video in which she explains that she lives with her ex-husband, their daughter and her boyfriend.
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But there was one discovery that moved her to tears as she was seen crying after discovering she was pregnant.
“POV: Taking a pregnancy test while going through a divorce,” she wrote above from the video.
“I’m still going through a divorce, in a new relationship and have a two-year-old daughter with my ex, so this would be really complicated,” she said as she waited for the results of the pregnancy test.
The clip then shows her bursting into tears, writing, “I had no idea of the adventure God would take our family on…”
The woman then shared happy moments from her blended family, including the gender reveal when she and her boyfriend found out they were having a son.
She also revealed how the trio interacted with her and her ex’s daughter, calling the men “brother husbands.”
“Me, my ex-husband, our daughter and my boyfriend are all living together now and my boyfriend and I are expecting our son any day now,” she wrote in the caption.
“I feel truly blessed that such a crazy, scary and unexpected situation turned into something so beautiful.
“Our families come together for the children and for each other. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.
“It was hell to get here, but by God’s grace we made it.
“Now we just have to wait until our little brother arrives!”
“Are all the men you choose green flags? This is beautiful,” someone commented on the video.
“Turns out it’s the least messy situation ever!” added another.
“My mom, her boyfriend and my stepdad all live together too!” a third commented.
“Honestly, it might seem strange to anyone outside of it, but it works for us!”
“Congratulations! Sending you all my love!”
“I am so happy for all of you! Blended families are so beautiful,” someone else said.
“Sending you all lots of love and congratulations!”
“This is a crazy dynamic,” wrote another.
“I am so happy that it is working for you and your family, and especially for your baby and future baby.”
In another video, The mother explained that she “loved this life” but that “doesn’t mean it’s easy”.
How can you make a blended family work?
THERE are more and more blended families that are successful all over the world. Some are even taking it a step further and living together.
And in a post on the Supernanny websiteClinical psychologist Dr. Victoria Samuel has revealed her top three tips for making a blended family work and avoiding common pitfalls of blended families.
Prepare yourself for intense feelings
“In order for a blended family to form, the original family must break up, so it is normal for children to experience intense and sometimes overwhelming emotions: anger, disappointment, sadness, grief, guilt, worry and uncertainty,” she said.
“When parents remarry or move in with a new partner who already has children from a previous marriage, the child’s sense of stability is further threatened.”
To facilitate this process, make sure you accept and listen to your children’s feelings, “without judgment or offering immediate solutions,” and that you “accept their experiences with concern and empathy.”
Agreeing on parenting roles
“It is absolutely crucial to present a united front,” said Dr Victoria.
“Younger family members need to know that the rules will be applied consistently and fairly, by both adults and for all children in the family.”
To convey a “consistent approach,” you should take the time to “openly discuss your parenting values with your new partner.”
“Talk about the taken-for-granted beliefs you have about family life: what behaviors you expect and what you won’t tolerate,” she added.
Encouraging a problem-solving approach
“A good way to prevent simmering resentments is to have regular family gatherings,” Dr. Victoria advises.
“Make sure everyone takes turns chairing the meeting and avoid interruptions and shouting by using the ‘pass the rock’ technique: to be allowed to speak during the meeting, the ‘rock’ (a pen or an apple or whatever you have to hand!) must be in the speaker’s hands.
“There is only one stone, so there is only one person talking at a time.”
“It’s one of the hardest, but also most rewarding things I’ve ever done,” she added.
“Although my ex and I get along well, I am still healing, and I know he is too.
“I am so proud of my ex for working with me to put our daughter first.
“That the trauma of my family falling apart causes me to almost always fall asleep crying at night.
“That my boyfriend has been my rock through all of this, and I appreciate him more than he could ever know that he is willing to be a part of this crazy family.”
She concluded by saying that she had “gained so much respect for both of them when she saw the boys come together and become friends.”
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