The Village People crunched through the YMCA and Carrie Underwood chattered, but as the presidential inauguration celebrations reached their climax, we got the biggest spectacle of them all.
Trump's solemn oath? The historic reunion of past presidents – Bush, Clinton, Obama? No, Lauren Sanchez's cleavage.
As the great and the good gathered under the Capitol Rotunda on Monday for the swearing-in ceremony — a state event that demanded class, respect and dignity — Lauren walked out with her bra lifted from a too-tight white pantsuit.
Yes, as always, the high-spending, flashy fiancée of billionaire Amazon boss Jeff Bezos managed to look like the cheapest – even if it involved UFC fighter Conor McGregor.
Dear oh dear, while Melania and Ivanka Trump were visions of elegance in tasteful tailoring to suit the event – ​​and outside temperatures – the 55-year-old former news anchor looked more like the owner of a small-town hair salon, ready to hit the strip to go to Las Vegas.
The look was apparently Alexander McQueen, but the overall vibe was more Target.
Perhaps the prospect of competing with the Trump scion's cabal of assembled glamazons was behind the dress code diss. Because by falling back on her usual sartorial setting of maximum vamp, Sanchez sidestepped fashion fears that something more subdued would be overshadowed.
With a face shinier than the Capitol chandeliers and a big pout, it seemed clear to me that the former helicopter pilot popular be viewed. Surely she knew the headlines that would follow, rushing to social media to stare at her frontal gaze?
As the great and the good gathered under the Capitol Rotunda on Monday for the swearing-in ceremony — a state event that demanded class, respect and dignity — Lauren Sanchez walked out with her bra hanging from a too-tight white pantsuit.
The expensive, flashy fiancée of billionaire Amazon boss Jeff Bezos managed to look like the cheapest in the room.
While the other assembled tech bros and their accompanying WAGs stared at their phones or made polite small talk, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg apparently didn't know where to look.
Although I doubt Lauren would have complained anytime soon.
It seems to me that this is a woman so hungry for attention that her only protest would be over not getting the testosterone fueled leers and camera clicks.
Since her midlife relationship with the bald Bezos — who proposed to her aboard his $500 million superyacht in May 2023 — Sanchez has seemed nothing short of a Kardashian-inspired pretender.
Her love of the spotlight and often crude, plastic attitude smacks of pure desperation, even by the standards of the 'look at me' luxury world she lives in.
It's not just about her wardrobe, but also about her actions. Predictably, her arrival on Monday was delayed for maximum visibility. Standing at the top of the steps outside the Capitol, she turned like a meerkat on steroids – perhaps checking to see if the paparazzi had caught every angle and inch.
And why is no one talking about Jeff?
It's clear that his Emmy Award-winning fiancée lacks the common sense to clean up the mess for a once-in-a-lifetime historic event — but isn't Bezos ashamed, too? Then you can conclude that he too takes pleasure in praising these tawdry displays, showing off his prized, permanently inflated assets.
It's an ugly sight for both of them – and a lesson for everyone that if you can't muster self-respect, sometimes it's better not to show up at all.
