This New Apple Watch Feature Is Giving Me Headaches

At Monday’s Glowtime event, Apple unveiled a laundry list of products and new features, from the iPhone 16 to USB-C charging for the AirPods Max. But one thing stood out as particularly odd.

The Apple Watch Series 10 can now play music and podcasts through a redesigned speaker, but my question is: why would you do that? The existing watch has a speaker that works for notifications and the occasional phone call, but Apple says this is the first watch to offer media playback.

According to the exploded diagram the company showed off at its event, the new speaker appears to be a “racetrack” driver — so called because it’s shaped like a long NASCAR track. These drivers are used in soundbars and other devices because they’re more efficient than round drivers and can fit in a smaller area. The side of the watch seems like a good place to put one of these, but we’re talking about a driver that’s ¼ inch wide or smaller. The company didn’t disclose frequency numbers, but you’re unlikely to get any sub-frequencies out of this thing. The power consumption alone might not make it worth the effort.

I’ve racked my brain trying to imagine a speaker that’s comparable and nothing I can think of is even close to that small — phones have much bigger sound systems, for example. Maybe in-ear headphones, but those aren’t designed to project sound. We’re in uncharted territory here, folks.

There’s a reason a speaker has to be “big” to make sound. Its job is to push air, and the deeper or “bassier” a sound is, the more air it has to push. High frequencies are the opposite: it takes very little effort to make a high-pitched sound. For a practical example of how size affects sound, think of the animal kingdom. Mosquitoes buzz, elephants trumpet.

So what will such a small speaker sound like? Since I haven’t heard it myself, I can only use physics and fauna as a guide. Even TVs with a speaker the length of your arm sound terrible compared to a decent soundbar. In your mind, while you’re thinking about the Apple Watch speaker, imagine the smallest Bluetooth speaker you’ve ever heard and then rip out all the bass.

Check this out: Apple introduces Apple Watch Series 10

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I wonder what a new, even worse way to listen to music will bring. Will we see this become a new annoyance in public places? Financial bros “bombing” their workout music and high school kids on public transportation entertaining each other with the sounds of Skibidi Toilet?

Even if you’re at home and you want to listen to something, what can you do about the sound quality of this watch? Well, have you ever done one of those tricks when you’re stuck with just your phone speaker? Like putting your phone in a cup to get better sound? Now I think you should put your watch in something — like a cone-shaped dog collar, but for your entire fist. “Look at me, everybody, I’m Iron Man! Pewpewpew!”

We’ve yet to test the speaker ourselves, but a full review of the Apple Watch Series 10 will follow soon.