Nathan Buckley makes damning admission about his ‘disgraceful’ behaviour when he was one of the AFL’s best players

Nathan Buckley has expressed regret over the “disgraceful” treatment he endured from those around him during the height of his AFL career.

Buckley, now 52, ​​made the shocking admission on Wednesday on The Imperfects podcast, in which he reflected on his life as a hard-nosed midfielder and club captain at Collingwood.

He played 280 games for the Pies, ruling the team with an iron fist both on and off the field.

But 17 years after he retired from football, the Fox Sports analyst said there was an underlying layer of insecurity he kept hidden from his teammates.

“The man with the tears streaming down his face was grateful that it rained every now and then because he never wanted to show weakness, never wanted to show vulnerability,” Buckley said in the podcast.

“And I think if people did know, they would say, ‘Uh… weird.’”

Buckley said he rarely asked for help and often found himself isolated as a result, and called his attitude on and off the field “disgraceful.”

“It was partly a defense mechanism,” he said.

Nathan Buckley has reflected on his ‘scandalous’ behaviour at the height of his career

The Collingwood legend said his unforgivable leadership was a stance he regrets

The soccer champion reflected on his former self in a new podcast released Wednesday

‘I didn’t see it (as if I was struggling). And there were coping mechanisms: heavy drinking on the weekends, because if I didn’t have it all under control, then I wanted to forget about it, so I went through that cycle — ‘I want to have everything under control, but then I don’t want to have anything under control.’

“There were a lot of ineffective, damaging behaviors in there. Probably the way you saw yourself, as much as anything. But also a lot of numbing and coping strategies to try to handle that intensity of performance.”

“There were coaches who were constantly trying to have this conversation with me,” he continued.

‘The one that was consistent was my attitude; the attitude on the pitch towards my teammates. And my very visible disappointment, vitriol, whatever you want to call it.

‘My body language in that early stage was terrible and it was disrespectful to myself, my teammates, the team, the club, the AFL, the position and the advantage I had running around in the middle of the MCG.

‘If I take a step back, it’s really outrageous to behave like this.

“I’ve never actually said it that specifically.”

After retiring from football, Buckley coached Collingwood for a 218-game spell before transitioning effortlessly into journalism with Fox Footy.