DEAR JANE: My nephew insists on doing something at our wedding that will make my fiancé SICK… Is it so wrong to demand a NORMAL celebration?

Dear Jane,

I am in a difficult situation and would like some advice.

My wedding is in a few weeks and my fiancé and I are busy putting the finishing touches on everything to make the day perfect.

Family is very important to me and I want my family members to play an important role in this occasion.

My sister, who is also my best friend, will be the bridesmaids and her two young daughters will be the flower girls.

Here’s where things get a little tricky.

She also has a 12-year-old son, who I love very much, and I asked him to wear the ring.

We put him in a suit that matches what my fiancé and his best men will be wearing, and they both look great together.

But last week my sister asked if we could have a serious talk about outfits.

Dear Jane, My nephew insists on wearing something completely inappropriate for my wedding.

She told me that my nephew wanted to wear a dress to the wedding.

I was completely shocked and speechless. He has always been a sweet and sensitive boy, but I never expected him to want to dress more feminine.

As a child he sometimes tried on girls’ clothes, but I thought it was just a phase.

As selfish and horrible as it sounds, I don’t want him to wear a dress because it doesn’t look good with other people’s clothes.

For the sake of completeness: I love my nephew and will accept him no matter what.

But the wedding photos would look bizarre if he’s the only boy in a dress, while all the other men are wearing the same style.

And what if he regrets this?

What if this is something he grows out of in a few years and the memories are forever set in stone?

Finally, my fiancé’s family is quite old-fashioned and I really don’t feel like explaining to my strict future mother-in-law that my nephew wants to wear a dress.

She will never understand.

This is obviously a sensitive subject and I want to handle it with the necessary caution.

I feel it is my sister’s responsibility to tell her son that this is not the right time to do these kinds of experiments.

International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her column “Agony Aunt”

Jane, please, who should I talk to?

Please help me,

Betrayed Bridezilla

Dear Bamboozled Bridezilla,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. What an exciting event!

I understand that you find it difficult to accept that your nephew wants to wear dresses at the moment.

This must be extra hard to swallow on your special day, when you already had a clear idea of ​​what you wanted.

But how your nephew dresses has no bearing on what people think of you or your wedding.

And while you say that one dress won’t look good next to all the other dresses, I assume you’re organizing beautiful dresses for your bridesmaids. I see no reason why you wouldn’t have your nephew wear a matching dress, if that’s what he feels most comfortable in.

I know this is a long-awaited occasion for you, and you want everything to be perfect. But I also feel the love you have for your nephew and want to remind you that 12 is a particularly sensitive age.

Your nephew is just discovering who he is and is entering puberty. I fear that you will unintentionally harm him if you forbid him to wear a dress.

That being said, most of these issues can be resolved with an honest conversation that comes from a place of love. Instead of talking to your sister, why not talk to your nephew?

Feel him out to see how committed he is, and if it’s clear to you that he’ll be happiest in a dress, have him wear one that fits your vision for the wedding. Be open to all options, including perhaps a compromise, such as a more feminine suit for him to wear.

As for the explanation to the strict in-laws, no explanation is needed. Whatever you and he decide will work best for both of you, is the only explanation.

Let them gossip among themselves if they want.