I wish my husband’s daughter had never come into our lives…she ruined my family

It was an out-of-the-blue phone call that blew Sasha Humphries’ family apart.

She and husband Rob already had two teenage girls, and now an 18-year-old woman claimed to be his love child.

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But while electrician Rob, 53, has welcomed another daughter with open arms, Sasha, 53, wishes she had never found them. . .

While sitting in the restaurant I saw a beautiful woman walk through the door and I felt sick.

I knew immediately that it was her, Josie, the woman who threw a hand grenade into my life.

She was the spitting image of my two daughters. There was no way she wasn’t related to them.

Then I realized how much I had clung to the hope that it was all a terrible mistake and that my husband Rob’s past would no longer haunt us.

Josie was only 18, but so confident when she walked up to our table and introduced herself.

All I wanted was to push this intruder away. Instead, I put a smile on my face and pretended I was excited to meet her. I’ve been pretending ever since – six long years.

I hope she doesn’t realize my true feelings, I’m not proud of it. But the truth is, I don’t like her. I can’t bring myself to use the word hate, but I wish she had never found us.

Josie had always known she was adopted and at the age of 18 she got her birth certificate, which only had her mother’s name on it, and tracked her down. She told her who her father was. Then she found Rob.

My husband turned white when he got the first call from her. I was sitting next to him in the kitchen when she rang the doorbell. He didn’t even know his ex-girlfriend was pregnant.

They had had an affair when he was 19, after meeting in a pub. It only lasted two months.

He barely mentioned her when we got together 22 years ago and had one of those conversations new couples have about past partners.

When he ended the call, he explained that she wanted to meet. He was in shock, but also excited.

He has always been involved with our girls Fran, now 20, and Emma, ​​19, and spends every moment with them when he is not working as an electrician. He also felt extremely guilty.

It’s impossible not to feel a tinge of jealousy

We are not rich, but through careful budgeting we have managed to live a comfortable life, enjoying holidays abroad most years.

Josie’s adoptive father had left when she was five and her adoptive mother struggled to make ends meet, working long hours in a shop.

She had had no luxury and little time with her exhausted mother. I only worked part time when the girls were young.

Even before he met her, he talked about how much he wanted to make up for his absence to her.

If he had known she existed, he would have kept her.

I wish he had known. I still would have fallen in love with him if he had been a single dad, but it’s different having this full-fledged adult infiltrate our family.

That first meeting in the restaurant, two weeks after her first contact, lasted hours.

I sat there watching Rob fall in love with her. It wasn’t anything sexual, of course, but I could have been invisible when he asked her questions about her life.

She felt like a rival and a threat to our happy family. I think many parents love their children more than their spouse, and here was someone he loved immediately, who grew to love me more than he loved me.

It’s impossible not to feel a tinge of jealousy.

I had no sympathy for her from the start. Josie is difficult. I feel sympathy, she had to learn to take care of herself.

But it means she’ll take whatever she thinks she can get. I think she’s angry that she missed something and is determined to make up for lost time, both materially and emotionally.

I think she’s spoiled and entitled. She never acknowledged that it might be difficult for me

I think she’s spoiled and entitled. She never acknowledged that it might be difficult for me. She has thrown herself into our lives and joins us at every opportunity.

The girls love her. They were excited when we told them about her after that lunch and met her a week later.

They were only 14 and 13 years old and were impressed by her. She had left home and was working in a trendy bar in Milton Keynes. She always did her best, I can’t blame her.

She has never had a DNA test, but it is so clear that she is related to Rob and the girls.

I feel like the outsider

That’s one of the things that hurts. I always thought the girls looked a bit like me, but now I realize they don’t.

When they are all together I feel like an outsider, they all look so similar.

My girls have now left home. Fran works in marketing in London and Emma is studying to become a doctor.

When they get home, I want it to be just the four of us, but Rob invites Josie over all the time. Even when I make an appointment with one of them, he suggests I invite Josie too – that drives me crazy.

She is also constantly on the phone with Rob, asking him to help her with some disaster, from a clogged toilet to financial benefits.

It will take almost two hours to reach her in Milton Keynes, but he will go when she calls.

Sometimes I feel like she is the “other woman” coming into our marriage.

I hate that he drops everything. He is much stricter with our girls and tells them to stand on their own two feet because he doesn’t feel guilty about their upbringing.

He won’t give them any extra money. I end up giving it to them from my savings to make up for it.

Fortunately, they do not realize the extent of his help, because that would be harmful to them.

It also irritates me that Josie is often late or cancels appointments at the last minute. He never pulls her in, but takes his disappointment and frustration out on the rest of us.

Two years ago she met a nice man and now she is more in her place.

But four months ago she had a baby. I love her son, I’m not a monster, but I’m jealous that Rob is a grandfather before me.

Josie’s arrival put a lot of strain on our marriage

Technically, I know I’m a step-grandmother, but it’s not the same. I wanted grandparenting to be something we did together.

And if I’m being completely honest, I feel like he’s pushed me even further down the pecking order of Rob’s affections.

Likewise, I disagree with Josie’s parenting. She sees her baby as an accessory.

There are countless photos of her on social media laughing with him. In real life it is her partner who does most of the heavy lifting.

Josie’s arrival put a lot of strain on our marriage. Rob and I agree on most things, but he won’t hear a word against Josie. He loves her unconditionally and can’t understand why I don’t do the same.

I needed guidance to put my thoughts into words. And I’ve learned to bite my lip and not point out Rob’s mistakes.

But deep down I feel that our marriage will never be the same again.

I will never understand how women cope when men conceive a love child through deceit. This has been hard enough.

• ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED