I sleep with three women at a sex party, then go home and kiss my wife goodnight

BEFORE I walk out of the house, I give my wife of 22 years a quick kiss on the cheek and tell her to have fun with the girls.

She smiles and thinks it’s nice that I’m having a ‘boring work dinner’.

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That makes me feel guilty, the evening I have planned is as far from as boring as it could be.

I don’t deserve any sympathy.

But by the time I’ve hit the streets, the guilt has been replaced by excitement.

I’m on my way to a sex party, in a hotel suite that’s being rented out for the occasion.

Sex with three women in one night

Hand in hand with my girlfriend, I walk into a scene of scantily clad women having sex with men they have only just met.

Within an hour I join in and have sex with up to three women before heading home to my wife who hasn’t done anything more debauched than have a few glasses of wine.

It has been a fixture in my life for the past six years. It’s not a weekly occurrence, but every few months.

The thrill of extramarital sex with multiple women who are strangers is addictive and a part of my life that I would hate to give up.

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‘I love my wife, but I am not faithful’

I love my wife – she is the mother of our two children, she makes me laugh, we enjoy each other’s company and she is the woman I want to grow old with.

But I am not a faithful husband.

The sex side of our marriage has always been lacking, she doesn’t really enjoy it and for years it’s been something we do once a month because it feels like we should.

I became unfaithful for the first time after five years of marriage – I was away at a work conference and ended up sleeping with a colleague.

It lasted a few months and mutually disappeared.

I’ve had a few more over the years, opportunistic and meaningless sex.

I realize that most readers would find my behavior abhorrent. But swinging is just one aspect of my life, and in all other respects I am a good husband

Andrew, 52

But eight years ago I met a woman through my cycling club who was also married.

We started an affair and early on she mentioned that she enjoyed swinging with a previous partner.

I was intrigued. It’s been on my radar as something I’d like to try ever since a friend drunkenly suggested we swap wives at the end of a dinner party.

As my heart rate increased, both of our wives looked shocked and he quickly turned it into a joke.

‘I wanted more’

The seed had been sown, but I didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t want to go alone.

When my loved one suggested we go, I was excited.

I had fallen in love with her by then, apart from everything I loved her sexuality and sense of adventure.

But we agreed from the beginning that we didn’t want to destroy our families, and we stuck to that.

The first time we indulged was in a naturist club on the outskirts of London.

We were in a sauna and she whispered that she liked one of the men there.

We motioned him to a room and he was more than willing.

It is an extraordinary sensation to see someone you love intimately with someone else. It tests all your senses and emotions.

I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t be jealous, so I was relieved when I wasn’t. And I wanted more.

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Fear of failure

Two months later we went to a club in central London on a Friday evening.

I knew it was going to be late, so I came up with a work trip that involved staying overnight.

I was nervous and worried that I might develop performance anxiety or premature ejaculation.

My girlfriend reassured me and we started talking to another couple at the bar.

They were more experienced and told us their previous experiences and within half an hour we were all kissing.

Having sex with someone else in front of my girlfriend was
extraordinary, I knew what a thrill I got when I saw her with someone else, and as she smiled at me I was convinced she wasn’t jealous.

‘It’s a huge high’

It’s not so much having sex with someone else that’s exciting, although novelty is always interesting.

It’s the fact that there are women who have a high sex drive and are driven that I find attractive.

And the shared feeling of ecstasy. The closest I can describe it is being at a concert and everyone feeding off the community spirit.

It’s a huge height.

Later that night and the next morning, I made love to my girlfriend and talked about our shared experience. It was a huge excitement.

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‘I didn’t feel guilty’

That afternoon I went back to my wife.

Sitting in our two-up-two-down semi-seminar in South London, I didn’t feel guilty, I felt like I had excitement in an otherwise mundane world of work and domestic drudgery.

The way I justify it to myself is that in a million years my wife
wouldn’t want to do it.

She could no more want to be a man than I would
realized I was gay.

But she is happy in our marriage and wouldn’t want to know.

We’ve had general conversations about infidelity when friends get caught cheating, and her response is always, “He’s an idiot for getting caught.”

My worst nightmare isn’t her finding out, it’s our two children.

They’d be shocked – no one wants to think about their parents being sexual, let alone swinging.

Four warning signs that your partner is cheating

Private investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating.

They start taking their phones everywhere

In close relationships, it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones. If their phone habits change, they may be hiding something.

Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing his password, taking his phone everywhere, even around the house, or if he gets defensive when you ask to use his phone, this could be a sign that he’s not being faithful. “

“You should also look at how they put their phone down when not in use. If they look at the phone with the screen facing down, they may be hiding something.”

They start telling you less about their day

If partners cheat, they may start avoiding you. This could be because they feel guilty or because it is easier for them to lie to you.

“If you feel like your partner suddenly starts avoiding you and stops wanting to do things with you or stops talking about their day, this is another warning sign.”

“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, remembering all your lies is impossible, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.

Their libido changes

Your partner’s libido can change for a variety of reasons, so it may not be a sure sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a warning sign.

Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may also have more sex at home. This is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will introduce new things into your sex life that were not there before.”

They become negative towards you

Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and for them it will feel good. This can cause tension and anxiety within themselves that they will have to justify.

“To release the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog that day, do the dishes, or do a book read. Book to your children before bed. A small problem like this can now feel like a big problem and if you experience this, your partner may be cheating,” Aaron warns.

‘I like seeing her with another man’

My girlfriend and I have had countless adventures.

We have a profile on the Fab Swingers website where we meet other couples or single men – never single women, my friend
has no interest in looking at me when she isn’t otherwise busy and isn’t bi.

I love the visual aspect of seeing her with another man.

We have organized several meetings in hotels via the website and have been invited to some.

We meet in the afternoon and evening when my wife goes out or when I can justify a ‘work trip’.

We went to clubs – even one in Paris. That was a highlight – it was amazing.

You’re checked at the door, so everyone in there is very elegant.
there are tables with food, such as strawberries dipped in chocolate.

‘In all other respects I am a good husband’

Occasionally we meet people more than once, but not often – not because there is any danger of becoming attached, but because there is no novelty that we both enjoy.

One of my most memorable experiences was about four years ago. We met a couple online and arranged to meet at their home.

We were there, in broad daylight, with the French doors open, while she gave me oral sex in the living room, while my girlfriend was being pleasured by her partner on the couch.

Geographically, I was at least half a mile from home
in another way I was thousands of miles away.

And I couldn’t help but imagine how surprised her neighbors would be if they knew what was going on.

I like that naughtiness.

I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve slept with – the most is three per night.

But there have been cases where the chemistry didn’t suit anyone – and we just had sex together. We always have safe sex.

I realize that most readers would find my behavior abhorrent. But swinging is just one aspect of my life.

And in all other respects I am a good husband. And I’m far from the only married man there without his wife.

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