I gave my husband a hall pass when my hysterectomy made it too painful for sex… now I regret it
Forty-nine-year-old mother Laura Gale had been struggling with Crohn’s disease and endometriosis for years.
The conditions caused scar tissue to build up outside her uterus and other organs in her pelvis, which began to cause so much pain during sex that it was no longer enjoyable. She eventually underwent a hysterectomy to remove her uterus.
In a decision made out of love for her husband and the father of her children, she gave him a “hall pass.”
He was allowed to sleep with other women as long as she was part of the selection process and communication between them.
Then the unthinkable happened. She soon discovered that her husband and his new lover had fallen for each other – now she is warning other women not to be so ‘naive’.
Laura Gale is pictured with her husband, who fell in love with the woman his wife said he could sleep with. They are now divorcing
She said: ‘I wanted to give him this freedom so he didn’t feel obligated to stay because of my health – I just wanted him to be happy in every way possible.
‘We were newlyweds and my health was rapidly deteriorating, but he stood by me.
“I had a lot of respect and love for him, so if he needed intimacy, I wanted him to get it, but he said no.”
When she first presented the idea to her husband in 2015, he wasn’t interested.
But then in 2022 he met a woman at a local pet store, and he became interested.
It started when she was diagnosed with several health problems that make intimacy uncomfortable.
Endometriosis occurs when tissue that lines the uterus – the endometrium – grows outside the uterus and covers nearby organs such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes and other supporting tissue.
It can lead to a buildup of adherent scar tissue in the pelvis. These adhesions cause severe pain when stretched and pulled during penetration.
Mr. Gale met his new partner at a pet shoot. Mrs. Gale met her and approved, and even invited the woman to have dinner with the family
She underwent a hysterectomy – a surgical procedure to remove the uterus.
One study reported that 45 percent of the approximately 6.5 million women with the condition find sex painful.
A condition of the arrangement, which came into effect in early 2024, is that Ms Gale first meets the other woman and is informed of their intimate arrangements.
She also set up a WhatsApp group chat so they could all communicate openly.
She said: ‘After meeting her I invited her to our home and she was lovely, ticked his boxes and he was eager to move on.
“I didn’t think he would fall in love with her in a million years.”
Mrs. Gale, a mother, said she now feels betrayed by her husband and his new girlfriend, whom she originally said would be friends
When she visited their home, Mrs. Gale locked herself in a room elsewhere in the house. She said it was hard at first, but she didn’t want to lose her husband.
But soon they started ignoring her and treating her as if she wasn’t there.
The man and his extramarital partner began communicating secretly. Mrs. Gale saw a text message between them in which Mr. Gale told the woman that he loved her.
The woman moved into the family home, while Mrs. Gale moved into a separate guest house without running water.
Mrs Gale said: ‘I thought my husband loved me and wanted the best for me, but his new life was more important.
‘It hurts me that I gave my husband this freedom and he threw it back in my face. It’s like they wanted me out of the way the whole time, and that breaks my heart.”
Her anger has overshadowed her sadness and she says she feels “naive.”
“I should have seen this coming.”
The couple is now trying to move forward with a divorce.
Ms Gale’s husband, who wished to remain anonymous, said: We tried to present a sister-wife situation, but Laura was upset because she didn’t feel part of it.’
Mrs. Gale feels betrayed after the scheme turns her life upside down.
