Health

Therapists reveal what the elections are doing to couples’ sex lives

This presidential election has one of the largest gender gaps in history.

A DailyMail.com poll found that 54 percent of women supported Kamala Harris, while 59 percent of men supported Donald Trump.

And therapists say the divide extends beyond the ballot box, into the bedroom – with couples arguing more, having less sex and even divorce.

DailyMail.com spoke to four couples’ therapists and psychologists, who all say they are dealing with a growing number of couples arguing about the election.

California-based clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Burrets said a couple who had been together for six years and had two children divorced because of their political differences.

She said: These major cultural events have a real impact on struggling couples.

“One of the cases I had was a couple I was working with, it was a fairly young couple in their 30s, they had been married for six years, had two small children, they thought they were quite aligned in their values.

‘[Before that] they had been dating for two years [and were] Engaged for a year before getting married, so they really thought they had a good idea of ​​who the other was.

‘And then the elections came and it became clear that they were politically divided. The woman was a strong Democrat and the man a Republican.”

JL Partners surveyed 1,000 likely voters. The results showed a large gender gap

JL Partners surveyed 1,000 likely voters. The results showed a large gender gap

Kamala Harris has the support of a majority of women. But is it enough to win?

Kamala Harris has the support of a majority of women. But is it enough to win?

She continued, “They came to couples therapy to try to work it out, and ultimately, after twelve sessions together, they concluded that their values ​​were so out of alignment that they ended their marriage.”

Many therapists report that more and more couples are seeking counseling during the election cycle. One even said he was now seeing 25 percent more patients than the last two times Trump ran for president.

In many cases, these couples are already dealing with other issues, but the elections have exacerbated the situation.

Dr. Gary McClain, a New York-based psychotherapist, also revealed that he was visited by couples who argued over the election.

He said: ‘[One couple I worked with] was in her early forties, both professionals, children in their teens, married for 14 years. In New York. He’s a Republican, she’s a Democrat.

‘They come to me to work on better communication. Their political differences have led to some major arguments, to the point of shouting, even when their teenagers are present.

‘One of the consequences was that the couple inadvertently enlisted their children to take political positions… the result was that the two children felt like they had to choose sides between one parent and the other.

“The other was avoiding each other’s families. They often stayed away from each other’s family events because they didn’t want to hear politics and sometimes felt connected and attacked because of their beliefs.’

Data shows that women are generally more likely to vote Democrat than their male peers, who tend to lean Republican.

In the 2016 election, 54 percent of women voted Democratic, compared to 41 percent of men.

Some experts have already warned that this gap could be a problem for Donald Trump – as 53 percent of the American electorate is women.

And experts say women are more likely to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris, in part because she has been outspoken about her support for abortion access and has suggested her opponent is a threat to democracy — an issue that is more starkly women end up.

On the other hand, some say men are more likely to support former President Donald Trump because of the history of men identifying with machismo leaders.

In the 1980s, men were more likely than women to support Ronald Reagan – which was linked to his image as a former Hollywood cowboy star and strong anti-communist rhetoric.

In the 1932 elections, men were also more likely to support Franklin Roosevelt, which was probably due to his tough and self-made man image.

Women are also generally more likely than men to say that democracy is in danger in the election, with 72 percent of Democrats – who are more likely to be women – expressing this concern.

According to a KFF poll, 65 percent of women say they believe this election will have a major impact on access to abortion and reproductive health care, while this has become the most important issue for women under 30.

By comparison, only about 20 percent of men consider abortion a top issue, according to pollsters.

Dr. Frankie Bashan, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist in California, said couples withheld affection from each other because of political differences.

“In some cases, couples avoid each other or even resort to stonewalling to keep the intense emotions in check,” she said.

‘This can even affect intimacy, with partners withholding affection, including sex, or ignoring each other to get their point across for hours, sometimes days.’

There's a trend now on TikTok where people are posting about voting in a way that makes their partner's decision count
There's a trend now on TikTok where people are posting about voting in a way that makes their partner's decision count

There’s a trend now on TikTok where people are posting about voting in a way that makes their partner’s decision count

Dr. Kiran Dintyala, an internal medicine physician and stress management expert in San Diego, also revealed a case in which the traditional gender divide was reversed – with the wife voting Republican, but the husband voting Democrat.

He said: ‘The couple told me that every time they turned on the TV they started arguing. They tried to avoid those discussions, but these things kept coming at them, something started the conversation, you know.

‘They told me that before Trump came into politics, they had never really had much of an argument. That sometimes happened, but in the past they never had such a fight as they do now, like cats and dogs.’

Dr. Dintyala tried to defuse the couple by explaining to them that each has a different perspective based on their life experience.

He said one was raised Republican and lived in Texas – a red state – which influenced their worldview, while the other spent his entire life in California – a blue state.

TikTokers are also sharing the division online, with some sharing videos that have racked up millions of views and saying they know couples divorcing because of the election.

Comment on the clipssaid one woman: ‘She doesn’t want to marry a man who doesn’t respect her right to make her own decisions about her body and life #notshocked.’

The US goes to the polls on Tuesday, November 5, with results expected to be announced in the following days

The US goes to the polls on Tuesday, November 5, with results expected to be announced in the following days

A man commenting on a separate video said: ‘he’s better without hair’, while a woman commenting on the same clip said: ‘Smart women! See the problem and get out quickly!’

For couples who want to maintain their own opinions but still live in harmony, said Dr. Dintyala that there are important things to keep in mind when you disagree with your partner.

First, he said it was important to realize that everyone has their own reality and perspective based on their life experience – and that this should be respected.

He said, ‘For example, let’s say your wife likes blue and you like red, are you going to fight her about that? No, that’s fine.

“But when it comes to politics, these kinds of issues become much more emotionally charged.”

He also called on people to keep perspective and realize that what happens in their own homes is far more important than what happens in the White House.

“Neither Trump, nor Biden, nor Obama will solve the problems in your home, so you should not fight and disagree,” he said.

He also urged people to try not to consume too much media if it would lead to conflict at home, saying they should consume no more than two hours a day.

“The moment you turn on TV, radio and social media 24 hours a day, you are bombarded with so much information, often negative, that it stresses people out,” he said.

“So what I’m saying is you have to choose your sources, whatever sources you believe will maintain a balanced view. I actually always recommend more than one source, and one that leans Democratic and another that leans Republican.

Dr. Dintyala also suggested that people try meditation and relaxation techniques during the political cycle, such as listening to calming music and doing breathing exercises, to help them achieve a balanced mind.

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