I get paid to help Brits cheat – it’s women who have affairs for sex, not men

ISABELLA Mise is not a cheater.

In fact, she describes herself as “pro-monogamy,” but because she works for extramarital affair dating site Ashley Madison, her job is to help others avoid unfaithfulness, including couples like Jess* and Tom.*

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Jess, 37, is seven months pregnant but she and her husband Tom, 41, are under no illusions about their sex life.

Instead of looking for nannies, the London couple looks for a woman with whom Tom can have an affair.

It sounds shocking, but the man and woman are a new breed of British who, according to Isabella, are consensually non-monogamous.

“More Brits than ever before are joining Ashley Madison,” said Isabella Mise, one of Ashley Madison’s global bosses.

“Over the past five months, our sites have seen a staggering increase in membership.

“In the UK, total registrations have increased by 124%, and they are our fourth biggest cheaters globally.”

Ashley Madison was launched in 2001 with the slogan: ‘Life is short. Have an affair.’

At the end of 2014, the site had almost 40 million users worldwide.

But in July 2015, the so-called “cheaters dating app” made global headlines when a group calling itself “The Impact Team” announced that they had stolen the site’s user data.

Named and shamed in the data breach were multiple celebrities, politicians and businesspeople.

The leak resulted in lawsuits, the firing of the site’s boss and founder, Noel Biderman, and was tragically linked to two suicides.

Despite the setback, Ashley Madison remained operational.

In May this year, a three-part Netflix series, Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal, was released that detailed how the chaos unfolded behind the scenes of the drama that saw marriages implode and millions paid out in compensation.

Now, five months later, it’s Isabella Mise’s job to sell the new look Ashley Madison image.

Although the site is still the go-to place for illegal business, Isabella says more and more users are signing up for the site as a couple.

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“It’s great. Since lockdown, there has been a dramatic shift in the way people view their long-term monogamous relationships,” she explains.

“It doesn’t surprise me. Gen Z Brits are at the forefront of this battle. They are more open about their sexual needs. They are redefining monogamy and marriage,” she says.

In 2022 alone, more than 85,000 British Gen Z joined the site.

Across the world, 18 to 28 year olds make up forty percent of new memberships.

Ashley Madison scandal explained

Members of Ashley Madison were at the center of a HUGE scandal after they reported having an affair.

Here we look at that scandal as it unfolded:

Ashley Madison was founded in 2001 by Canadian Darren Morgen-stern.

The members were assured of total discretion and vowed a dream to spice up their sex lives with a little something extra – without their husbands finding out.

The extramarital affairs dating site had millions and millions of subscribers worldwide.

But a cyberattack in July 2015 revealed the identities of three million users – and they were left fearing that the sexual fantasies they had shared on the site would also be leaked.

The consequences were immeasurable: the names and addresses of politicians, celebrities and ordinary people spread across the Internet.

Marriages were destroyed, people lost their jobs and at least two people committed suicide.

Despite the company offering a $500,000 reward and conducting a major cyber and law enforcement investigation, the hackers were never discovered.

But instead of crushing the Ashley Madison empire, the data breach actually increased its popularity and the site now has around 70 million members.

“They know what they want from relationships and business, and they aren’t afraid to ask for it,” says Isabella.

“The Netflix documentary didn’t hurt us, it helped us.

“Since Lockdown, people are looking at non-monogamous monogamy redefining their relationships. Ashley Madison is how they do it,”

Since the scandal documentary was broadcast worldwide, there has been a 44.16% increase in registrations, with new UK membership increasing by 123.07%

The site has 3.4 million British members and for every hundred men who sign up for an illicit affair, 75 women join.

“It’s almost half past half,”

According to Isabella, more Brits than ever are willing to consider ‘non-monogamy monogamy’ as part of their core relationships.

“Statistics show that 26% of Generation Z members from Britain want to be in a non-monogamous relationship.

“That may sound confusing, but it isn’t. More Ashley Madison members than ever before are joining the site with their long-term partner or their wife or husband’s OR.

Released non-monogamy is when a couple agrees that one or both people can visit the website and have an illicit affair, or cheat.

“These couples have had a discussion. They decided they wanted to allow this into their relationship, and they are using our site to do it,” says Isabella.

“There is still a large number of memberships in secret, non-monogamous relationships. That means they keep it a secret.

“So yeah, they’re cheating. / But they do it in a safe environment with like-minded individuals. The taboo has disappeared.”

“In 2015, people thought differently about ‘illegal encounters’ than they do now.

“People are more open about their sexual needs. Women express their sexual needs more openly, and men talk about what they want in a more open way,” she says.

“It’s a cultural change. That’s why more Brits than ever before are signing up.

Isabella says her work for Ashley Madison has opened her eyes to the reasons why men and women cheat.

“People assume men cheat because their sexual desires aren’t being met, but that’s not the case,” she says.

Women cheat or have affairs because their sexual needs are not being met

Isabella Mise

“Men generally have affairs where their emotional needs are not met,” she says.

“Women cheat or have affairs because their sexual needs are not being met in their ‘core relationship’ or marriage.”

Isabella, who oversees the site’s global communications, admits she’s quite an old-fashioned girl.

“I’m a proponent of monogamy in my personal relationships,” she admits.

“That’s just me. I’m thrilled that people can use the site to meet their sexual and emotional needs in a safe space.

“If it works for them, that’s great. That’s why I love what I do.

“It’s important that people have a place where they can find others who want the same thing. Things in the workplace or things within friend groups can cause major damage.

“Ashley Madison provides a safe place for people to have an affair or an affair with or without their partner’s consent.”

Isabella agrees that some people still cheat the old-fashioned way and that it can damage their core relationship.

She adds: “That’s their choice, though.

“Choice is key and I am proud to be part of an organization that is evolving and meeting the needs of more people than ever before.”

*Names have been changed

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