Steph Houghton spoke from the heart: why are people so quick to judge or condemn?
It feels like we’ve seen more of Steph Houghton since she retired. Not literally — though her burgeoning media career may mean she’s more visible to rival fans who only glimpse her twice a season — but in a deeper, more human sense.
Houghton’s interactions with the media were always cordial and insightful, but you got the feeling there was more beneath the surface.
In recent months, Houghton has come out of her shell and become a more open, candid voice. Consequently, it’s easier to get a glimpse of the leader who not only represented Manchester City and England with distinction, but transformed the women’s game along the way.
Even more in her memoirs, Leading from the back: my journey to the top of women’s footballout this week. In it, Houghton exposes her role as a leader off the field, especially in her negotiations with the Football Association over contracts and bonuses.
Houghton’s English teams fared better than their predecessors but, for example, did not have the luxury of direct or business class flights home from the 2015 World Cup in Canada, where they won bronze. Four days later they played in the Women’s Super League (WSL). The most moving chapters are about Houghton’s husband, former footballer Stephen Darby, and his diagnosis of motor neurone disease in 2018, about derailed plans and a player forced to choose between family and football.
There is undoubtedly a vulnerability and discomfort in pulling back the curtain, if that is also a catharsis. As Houghton put it to Ian Wright on Crossways, their shared podcast, she wanted the book to be raw and real. “Sometimes people just see us as football players, but there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes,” she says.
This brings us to Houghton’s interview with the Guardian about the end of her career in England – and, moreover, about the reaction. Those who felt Houghton had spoken out of turn and came across as entitled or bitter were quick to let her know. (I wonder how many are newer fans of the women’s game and, unfamiliar with her career, have only seen Houghton in this light.)
Houghton had received a similar response to an interview with the Daily Mail before the 2023 World Cup. She detailed the pressure she had put on herself and how difficult it had been to justify that commitment when Darby had fallen at home and been rushed to hospital while she was on the bench for a match at Aston Villa.
Houghton’s response on Friday’s podcast was to hope that people would read her feelings in their full context, in her book. Only then will they truly understand her side of the story.
I’ve read it. I don’t think she came across as entitled or bitter. As Houghton talked about the demise of her career in England, it only came with sadness. Houghton played her last game for England against the Republic of Ireland in a behind-closed-doors match at St George’s Park. Compare that to Jill Scott and Ellen White’s final bows for England: winning the European Championship against Germany at Wembley.
Houghton was very happy for them, but inevitably wished she were there. At least she got a farewell at Wembley last month and led the team one last time, against Germany, in what perhaps felt like a facsimile of the European Championship final – the alternate universe in which Houghton plays one last series of matches. sold out games.
Steph Houghton with the England team before their match against Germany at Wembley last month (Marc Atkins/Getty Images)
Houghton describes the rehabilitation program for a ruptured Achilles tendon she undertook with England’s blessing – logging 10-hour days while visiting a physio in Crewe – and says all parties had understood all along that she would not be playing for her club before the Euro 2022 England checked in every six weeks. She made the preliminary roster of 30 for the tournament. Ultimately, manager Sarina Wiegman felt that Houghton had not played enough games; the player believed that they knew this would be the case.
Houghton remembers her tears when she takes the call from Wiegman to learn she will no longer captain England. “I was angry that I found out over the phone,” she wrote. “For me that is a face-to-face conversation.”
I don’t disagree. Houghton never had anything against her successor Leah Williamson, but was heartbroken that “the best thing (she) could ever do” came to an end after eight years.
The World Cup rejection hits her less hard, but is still painful. She felt like she had done everything Wiegman asked: playing regularly for her club, beating Chelsea and Arsenal. Wiegman provides a tactical assessment and adds that she doesn’t feel she can take anyone off the roster for Houghton. Houghton feels like Wiegman has moved the goalposts. Wiegman delivers this news at St George’s Park, where Houghton, allegedly unbeknownst to Wiegman, had been working with Nike. There, Houghton is told that she will probably never play for England as long as Wiegman is in charge.
“I also wondered if this would have been a personal conversation if I hadn’t already been at St George’s,” Houghton concluded. “The problem was more that I think she planned to have this conversation over the phone, and she knew she was going to tell me that I wasn’t in her plans at all. I thought this required a personal conversation, given the career I had had.
Suffice to say, as Houghton promised, it’s a little more complex than some responses would have you believe.
This column is not about whether you would have taken Houghton to one of those tournaments, or about Wiegman’s alleged handling of it all. It’s about the response to Houghton’s pain and the expectation we have of female footballers to expose all their vulnerabilities when the public is unwilling to meet them with empathy.
Why is it so hard for everyone to acknowledge that Houghton was in pain – and understandably so? Her last notable performance for England at a major tournament was missing a penalty against the USA in the 2019 World Cup semi-final. All of this – from the injury to missing out on the Lionesses’ first major trophy – will have complex emotions brought about in a player whose 121 caps were won at such a critical time for women’s football. That’s before you explore how Houghton’s personal circumstances make the stakes in that area of her life so much higher.
Lately, women’s soccer seems to have bought into the idea that the sport will progress if we fully hear about the pain of the players. No varnish, no euphemisms: tell us about every horror of your rehabilitation from your anterior cruciate ligament injury so we can understand it and change it. Tell us about your mental health struggles and your relationships – which fans are invested in – to inspire those watching. Tell us, Houghton, what really happened to England, because after all this time we want to know.
Many players, from WSL record scorer Vivianne Miedema to two-time FIFA Best Women’s Goalkeeper Mary Earps, have been met with sympathy for expressing their vulnerabilities. Why not Houghton here?
Is it personal? The criticism of Houghton always seems to have a different kind of fire behind it – is it that her replacement was the hugely popular Williamson, so among a newer, younger, more chronically online fanbase it’s convenient to cast Houghton as the villain? On some level, do we still expect sportswomen to be accommodating, grateful and magnanimous when it comes to team selection and tactics? Or simply that once those feelings become complex or distasteful – too much light and shade to fit into a tweet – people stop wanting to hear them? That people can’t separate a divisive topic like team selection from the people at its center?
EPISODE 7 💃 @crosswayspod
My husband helps with some context @IanWright0 ❤️
— Steph Houghton MBE (@stephhoughton2) November 8, 2024
I don’t know, but many women’s football fans approached Houghton’s comments – and the end of her England career – with a lack of respect and understanding. Athletes in particular have dedicated their lives to pushing themselves to the limit, most of us would rather not do that, but most of us would certainly have felt the same in Houghton’s position. Add to that the extraordinary choices she had to make and I’m not sure how many of us would have had it in us to continue chasing major tournaments.
At the very least, we should allow Houghton to give voice to her experiences, without being so quick to judge, dismiss, or condemn.
Sport is a fundamental human thing. You don’t have to agree with Houghton, but she’s allowed to say all this: she’s allowed to say it hurts and she’s allowed to say she wishes it all could have been different. At least let her finish. Given the end and magnitude of her contribution, she deserves it.
(Top photo: Jacques Feeney/Offside/Offside via Getty Images)
