I thought cancer was blocked by dust from a breastfeeding baby, says Hollyoaks star

FOLLOWING her shock breast cancer diagnosis, actress and Strictly star Ali Bastian is opening up about losing her hair and her new relationship with her breasts.

Two weeks ago, Ali Bastian was on the beach with her family near their home in West Cork.

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Uncomfortably warm, the former Hollyoaks actress took a deep breath and removed the wig from her head to reveal the effects of four months of chemotherapy.

It was the first time she did this in public.

Ali, 42, says: “At home I walk around with a bald head all the time. But I was afraid that going bald from chemo meant I was “becoming” a cancer patient, and that was all anyone would see.

“I thought it would be like losing my identity.

“It scared me that something that was previously invisible would now be very visible.

“The hair loss due to chemo is an expression of how raw you feel inside.

“But losing your hair is a small price to pay to get better.

“And when I took off my wig on the beach, it felt like something big for just a split second.

“Then it felt good, and then it just felt normal. I’m hot and my bald head needs some air!

“All of this is a work in progress and I’m still adjusting to it.”

It’s been almost five months since the actress and former Strictly star was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer after discovering a lump in her left breast.

Doctors initially thought it was a blocked duct and prescribed antibiotics for mastitis.

Ali had stayed up all night breastfeeding youngest daughter Izzy, now 22 months, and assumed that was why her breasts were sore. But the pain did not go away and tests revealed cancer.

The diagnosis has turned Ali’s idyllic life upside down with husband David O’Mahony, 42, a writer, director and actor, and their two little girls, Izzy and older sister Isla, four.

‘I’m getting a big tattoo’

“I’m so relieved that I found the lump when I did,” says Ali.

“Pregnancy and breastfeeding are sensitive times for women, and we are not exempt from the need to check our breasts during this time.

‘If there’s something that doesn’t feel right, get it checked out. I will do everything I can to make women aware of checking their breasts.”

Upon diagnosis, Ali was advised to stop breastfeeding and did so in the weeks before chemo started.

She says: “Although it was an abrupt end to our breastfeeding journey, Izzy coped with it very well.

“Looking back, luckily I was probably ready for it. I knew this was the first step toward treatment, so I focused on dropping the feedings one at a time.”

So far, Ali’s daughters have been told that mom is going to the hospital for “a very strong medicine” and have accepted that she needs a lot of rest.

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Ali is less sure how to deal with her upcoming mastectomy, especially since Isla is old enough to have some understanding.

She says: “It’s difficult and I don’t know how to deal with it yet.

“My oldest is a bright spark when it comes to what’s going on around her. Like most kids her age, you can’t mistake her eyes.

Surgeons will remove Ali’s affected breast in the New Year once chemotherapy is completed, before she begins a course of radiotherapy.

She then plans to have the second breast removed preventively and then undergo reconstructive surgery on both.

It’s a decision she still struggles with. “At first I thought, ‘I’m going to put a big Rocky tattoo over it!’. Wouldn’t that surprise people if I grew a huge sleeve where my breasts used to be?

“Maybe I will – never say never. But now that I have had the space to process the mastectomy, I would like the reconstruction.

“I have not yet had an appointment with the plastics team, and I know that many women remain flat and wear their scars as a sign of what they have been through.

“But when I think of myself in the future, I imagine myself with a body that looks familiar. Even with clothes on, I would like my silhouette to look something like it did before.”

I wanted to be honest, but I had no idea the incredible response I would get from that video.

Ali Bastiaan

Ali talks thoughtfully about her illness. She describes her feelings around her relationship with her body, caused by cancer.

She struggles to come to terms with the fact that the breasts that nursed her daughters are endangering her life. “I worked very hard to feel compassion for my breasts and therefore for myself, but sometimes it was difficult,” she says.

“For a while I found it difficult to even apply moisturizer to my breasts after showering. I had to say to myself, ‘Come on, Ali. This chest is fighting and needs some love’.

“I would never want to argue with my breasts. . . so I definitely want to thank it for raising my kids, for all the good times we’ve had together and right now, for putting up such a good fight.

“I also know that I have to let it go. I know that will have to happen.” Husband David was by Ali’s side during her chemotherapy and recovery in between.

Being both self-employed has presented financial challenges, but it has also given him the flexibility to keep things running at home.

“He was great, emotional and holding the fort,” says Ali.

‘I feel every heart emoji’

‘Neither of us works much, even though he tries to do what he can.

“But the fact that he’s freelance means he can be here for me and for the kids.

“He is very much my best friend and also my husband.”

This is certainly not the first challenge the couple has faced together.

During lockdown, when Isla was still a baby, she had severe food allergies that led to numerous hospital admissions.

Ali says, “We were in crisis mode for a long time and at that point in our marriage there was nothing we hadn’t seen from each other: good, bad, ugly.

“That can make or break, but for us it was liberating. Now life is back on the ground, but we just have to keep going, know that this will pass and we will get our lives back on track.”

A glimpse into the darkness of recent months were the results of Ali’s genetic test, which revealed that she does not carry a faulty BRCA gene, which would have put Isla and Izzy at greater risk of developing breast cancer in the future.

“It was such a huge relief,” she says. “However, I do have a family history that is slightly above average. I lost my maternal aunt and grandmother to breast cancer and I am the youngest in our family to have it.

“Therefore the girls will need to be monitored and there will be a plan in place to ensure they are in the system and informed. Early detection is everything. I think breast cancer will always be a big issue in our family.”

I also know that I have to let it go.

Ali Bastiaan

In a cruel twist of fate, the discovery of a piece came just months after the family moved from London to rural West Cork in search of a fresh start on the Irish coast.

Ali, who is full of praise for her team at the Orchid Center at Cork University Hospital, said: “I feel like I ended up here, my life burst into flames and then the Irish picked me up and said, ‘Make don’t worry, we’. I got you’.

“Whenever I feel panicky, I think of the faces of everyone I met on this journey.

“From Steph, who makes the tea in the Dunmanway Unit, and knows I like it in a mug, to all the nurses who know my children’s names, to my oncology and surgical teams, there’s a whole new cast of characters in my life and I’m grateful for everyone.

“They have always made me feel complete. None of them had a Scooby that I was – and they’re all working to get me through this.”

Ali has also been overwhelmed by fan support since she made her journey public in September, when she posted a video to Instagram of David cutting her hair and then Ali shaving her head.

She says: “It would be a disservice to other women to put any kind of gloss on this.

Small victories

“I wanted to be honest, but I had no idea the incredible response I would get from that video.

“I often look back and look at those comments and I am lifted up by the community that has been created. I feel every kind response, heart emoji, connection and bit of love.”

Ali’s chemo is almost complete and as she prepares for the next phase of treatment, she will spend Christmas and New Year quietly at home with David’s family.

She explains: “The other day we went for a walk on the beach and Izzy said, ‘Mummy, sit down.’ The rest of the family rushed ahead, but I sat with her. “Mommy, look,” she said.

She just wanted to watch the waves. I think of myself in London, running around with a buggy. When you slow down, you notice the subtle moments, the small victories.

“Going for a walk with my family is a victory. This simplification of life is something I am going to protect moving forward.”

Ali reveals she dreams of a family vacation when this one is over, and hopes to return to acting.

“I’ve been so busy having kids the last few years, and I was hoping to get back to it this year,” she said.

“Life clearly had other plans. But this has reaffirmed my love for acting. I miss other actors. I miss being on set and the playfulness. It’s my happy place, so I can’t wait.”

• Ali has found refuge in the virtual care clinic Perci Health, which gives people with cancer online access to specialists and healthcare professionals.