Hospice nurse reveals the most important thing people say just before they die
When people face death, they often experience a variety of emotions and gain a new perspective on their lives.
While everyone’s final moments differ, Los Angeles palliative care nurse Julie McFadden – known on social media as Hospice Nurse Julie – has revealed the three most common regrets patients share on their deathbed.
Speaking to NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan on his podcast, she said these latest discussions tend to focus on what they take for granted.
The most common, she said, is that they regret not appreciating the years they spent in good health.
“The first thing I hear all the time is that they regret not valuing their health while they still had it,” says Ms. McFadden, who has more than 15 years of experience caring for the dying.
“That’s the most important thing people say to me: I wish I had understood how great it is to have a working body,” she added.
The second regret she often hears is people admitting they’ve been “working too much” and wishing they hadn’t wasted their lives away.
Finally, she revealed in the clip shared with IInstagramthat many dying patients regret relationships.
While everyone’s final moments differ, Los Angeles-based palliative care nurse Julie McFadden (pictured) – known on social media as Hospice Nurse Julie – has revealed the three most common regrets patients share on their deathbed
The nurse explained that people either wished they had maintained certain relationships and friendships or regretted their grudges.
Many patients also report that they were ‘worried too much’ about what other people thought.
Dr. Rajan responded to Ms. McFadden’s insight with a story about a young patient that made him realize that we are not “immortal” and that we should not take our lives “for granted.”
In the clip he shared with his 1.5 million followers, he said: ‘A few years ago when I saw a young woman in her twenties come in with pancreatitis, within three hours this young woman was in intensive care, she was intubated , ventilated and the next day she died.
‘That made me think: wow, I’m in my thirties now, I’m 34, life can just pass by.
“So yeah, don’t take it for granted, we tend to walk around like we’re immortal sometimes.”
Ms. McFadden has previously said in a YouTube video that “death can be messy, and it may not be so beautiful.”
She explained that people may experience pain, shortness of breath, terminal agitation, confusion and “general chaos.”
Ms McFadden suggested two strategies to avoid the aforementioned ‘chaos’ leading up to death, whether the person dying is a loved one or yourself.
Her main recommendation is simply education and “knowing what to expect, knowing what is normal and what is not normal.”
Then it’s a matter of “having an open dialogue with yourself, with your doctors, with your nurses, with your family, about what you’re feeling, what you need, how they can help you,” she explained.
It is important to ‘understand’ that your loved one will ‘change a lot’ as he/she approaches the end of life.
Likewise, when it comes to your end of life, it is crucial to be prepared that your final days will be very different from what you are used to.
‘You won’t be able to do everything you used to do. You won’t be able to live super independently. That’s hard, that’s hard to accept.
“But learning this now can hopefully help you prepare so that it won’t feel so chaotic when it happens,” on top of the “chaotic nature of what can happen to the body at the end of life,” she added.
