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Am I wrong to tell my nine-year-old that she is beautiful every day?

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Am I wrong to tell my nine-year-old that she is beautiful every day? Boyfriend says I should focus on personality and talent

  • Julie Cook from Hampshire showers her daughter Adriana with compliments
  • But a friend told her that calling her child “pretty” was too “appearance-focused.”
  • Julie doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, do you?
  • Visit Metro.nl to read the full version of this article
  • Read more from Metro: I put up my Christmas decorations on November 6

Julie Cook has always complimented her children.

Although her son, now 13, is embarrassed when his mother tells him he’s handsome, Julie’s daughter Adriana is still showered with praise.

“I tell my nine-year-old daughter at least twelve times a day that she is beautiful, lovely, has the most beautiful eyes and the warmest smile,” says the Hampshire journalist. Metro.nl.

While Julie always thought this was perfectly normal “mommy” behavior, one of her friends has since told her that she should reconsider her comments.

“She said it was old-fashioned to tell girls they are beautiful in this day and age, and that instead of drawing attention to her image, I should make a comment about her talents and personality,” explains Julie.

Julie Cook from Hampshire always tells her daughter, Adriana, 9, she’s beautiful and never thought about it until a friend criticized her

“I wondered for a few days: was I doing something wrong? Did I make sure she prioritized looks and not the other features that made her…her?’

The mother of two now firmly believes she is doing the right thing by praising her daughter’s looks.

“I believe that building your daughter up and telling her she’s sweet is an important part of making sure she gains confidence. Imagine never getting a single compliment about your appearance in your entire childhood, wouldn’t that be more damaging?

“In a look-based world, it’s critical to tell your child that they’re just as beautiful as anyone else.”

Julie said she thinks it's important to build her daughter's confidence in today's appearance-focused world

Julie said she thinks it’s important to build her daughter’s confidence in today’s appearance-focused world

Julie said she taught her daughter that airbrushed models in magazines are not true role models

Julie said she taught her daughter that airbrushed models in magazines are not true role models

Julie recalls an incident a few weeks ago when Adriana saw an airbrushed woman on the internet and started comparing herself to this person. In response, the mother told her daughter that no one looked like that.

“That’s when I started my daily boost of confidence: how beautiful her hair is, how clear her skin is, how great she looks in her new fluffy fur—that she’s perfect just the way she is.

“She smiled and forgot about Miss Airbrush, she felt good again.”

While Julie sees merit in complimenting qualities other than looks, she also makes sure to comment specifically on Adriana’s appearance, as she is concerned for her little girl’s well-being if she didn’t.

Julie adds: ‘Like all mothers, I think my daughter is beautiful. That’s all the little girls! Their sweet smiles, their captivating faces, the blush on their cheeks.

“Yeah my girl looks nice but to be honest I would call my daughter pretty even if she looked like a marrow. Because to me she always would be.’

Visit Metro.nl to read the full version of this article

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