BLOOMING AFTER 50: I’m 58 and I’ve found love with a wonderful woman, but my kids want her to sign a prenup before moving in with me. What should I do?

Dear Vanessa,

I have been divorced for three years and recently met a wonderful lady who I would like to ask to move in with me. I’m 58, own my house and have some savings, and this new relationship has brought a real spark into my life. I’m excited about the future and the opportunity to build something new together.

But here’s the problem: my adult children are far from enthusiastic. They are afraid that my new partner will keep an eye on my money and house instead of me. Because she doesn’t own any property, my children think that by moving in she is putting herself on the map financially. They want me to enter into a prenuptial agreement if things get more serious, to protect my assets, especially my house.

The thing is, I just don’t think it’s right to ask her to draw something like that. It feels too transactional. In my opinion, a prenuptial agreement takes away the romance. But I also don’t want to abandon my children, because they only take care of me. What do you think I should do?

Jim

Send your questions to leading money teacher Vanessa Stoykov at floringafter50@dailymail.com.au

Leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov (above)

Dear Jim,

Thanks for sharing your story. It’s great to hear that you’ve found love again; that spark, especially later in life, is precious and it’s normal to want to fully embrace it.

Your children’s concerns are understandable. They want to see you happy, but they also want reassurance that you are not jeopardizing your financial stability. In their eyes, a prenuptial agreement is just a practical way to secure what you’ve worked hard for.

However, a prenuptial agreement can feel formal and even unromantic. One approach might be to discuss finances openly with your partner, without directly discussing a prenup. If she’s someone who really cares about you, she’ll probably understand where your kids are coming from.

Another option could be a cohabitation contract, which stipulates how the assets will be handled if it comes to an end, without this being tied to a marriage. It is often seen as less ‘fraught’ than a prenuptial agreement and relates to practical matters rather than a lack of trust.

You may also consider placing your assets in a trust or other arrangement that will keep them safe while still allowing you to share your life. This allows you to respect the wishes of your children without immediately imposing anything on your relationship.

If you are still unsure, I highly recommend consulting a financial advisor. I have a large network of independent advisors and am happy to recommend someone in your area. You can contact me here to help you find a trusted financial advisor.

Ultimately, Jim, this is your life and happiness. A candid conversation with everyone involved can ease tensions and show them that your happiness matters too.

I wish you all the best in this exciting new chapter.

Vanessa.