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Courtney Stodden explains how sexual abuse paralyzed their body image

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Courtney Stodden is candid about how being sexually exploited by their ex-husband Doug Hutchison as a teenager destroyed their self-esteem and prompted them to get breast implants to look more like Pamela Anderson.

The 27-year-old, who is non-binary and uses pronouns, was 16 when they married Hutchison in a Las Vegas chapel in 2011, six days before he turned 51. They have since claimed to have been groomed and verbally abused by The Green Mile actor.

Stodden faced widespread media attention and was labeled a “child bride” to a “whore” for marrying a man 34 years older, all of which affected their body image.

“I was a very insecure teenager. I had terrible self-talk, very negative thinking. And it didn’t help to find myself in a slut-shaming storm of my undeveloped body, which only exacerbated my insecurities in myself,” they said. Yahoo Life

Courtney Stodden, 27, is working to regain their self-esteem after years of sexual abuse and struggling with their body image

Stodden, who is non-binary and uses pronouns, was 16 when they married ex-husband Dough Hutchison in a Las Vegas chapel in 2011, six days before he turned 51.

Stodden, who is non-binary and uses pronouns, was 16 when they married ex-husband Dough Hutchison in a Las Vegas chapel in 2011, six days before he turned 51.

They explained that seeing paparazzi photos made me hate myself, saying, “I was so devastated I had to analyze every inch of my body, and it got to the point of bodily dysmorphism.”

In a recent interview with Alex Cooper on the call her daddy podcast, Stodden recalled how they were “petrified” to undress in front of Hutchison for the first time because they feared he would be scared off by their teenage bodies.

They said they wore a heavily padded bra with cutlets on their wedding day to make their breasts look bigger.

“I wanted to dress myself after Pamela Anderson. That was the ultimate woman,” they told Yahoo Life. “I think that was the image in my head I had to put down to overcome my own insecurities.”

Stodden (pictured in 2013) told Yahoo Life that they were a

Stodden (pictured in 2013) told Yahoo Life that they were a “very insecure teenager” and developed body dysmorphism because paparazzi photos “made me hate myself”

They were fueled by a desire to look more like a woman to Hutchison and to keep up with the public's perception of them when they were given breast implants at the age of 18.

They were fueled by a desire to look more like a woman to Hutchison and to keep up with the public’s perception of them when they were given breast implants at the age of 18.

Stodden explained they wanted to look like Pamela Anderson, the 'ultimate woman', but Hutchison is said to have told them they would look 'grotesque' with implants

Stodden explained they wanted to look like Pamela Anderson, the ‘ultimate woman’, but Hutchison is said to have told them they would look ‘grotesque’ with implants

Stodden was fueled by a desire to appear more like a woman to Hutchison and to keep up with the public’s perception of them when they were given breast implants at the age of 18.

“I got a breast augmentation because I had the body of a child,” they explained, “but my personal situation behind closed doors and of course my career at the time really demanded this overtly sexual image that I couldn’t necessarily fully fulfill.”

They claimed Hutchison was against the surgery, saying, “He told me I would be grotesque after I had my breasts done.”

The implants didn’t change how much they hated themselves and their appearance, which they said was the result of the “toxic situation” they were in.

In 2018, Stodden filed for divorce from Hutchison, which was finalized in March 2020.  They have since claimed that he nursed them and verbally abused them during their marriage

In 2018, Stodden filed for divorce from Hutchison, which was finalized in March 2020. They have since claimed that he nursed them and verbally abused them during their marriage

Stodden said they continued to struggle with their body image after the divorce and had planned surgery for butt implants but changed their mind before the procedure

Stodden said they continued to struggle with their body image after the divorce and had planned surgery for butt implants but changed their mind before the procedure

Last year, Stodden came out as non-binary, which they said helped them heal after being sexualized from a young age

Last year, Stodden came out as non-binary, which they said helped them heal after being sexualized from a young age

It was Stodden’s mother, Krista Keller, who legally consented to the marriage, and it took them years of therapy to see Hutchison’s rapacity as child abuse.

In 2018, they filed for divorce from Hutchison, which was finalized in March 2020.

Stodden said they still struggled with their body image after the divorce and had scheduled surgery for butt implants because they were “so insecure” about their bottom.

They stopped the procedure less than two weeks earlier after breaking down in tears as they looked in the mirror and wondered for the first time why they were doing this to themselves.

They admitted they still struggle with their body image every day, but they are in a better place than last year and will go days without looking in the mirror.

They admitted they still struggle with their body image every day, but they are in a better place than last year and will go days without looking in the mirror.

Stodden has also made it a point to share unfiltered and makeup-free photos on social media and goes for days without looking in the mirror

Stodden has also made it a point to share unfiltered and makeup-free photos on social media and goes for days without looking in the mirror

Stodden has also made it a point to share unfiltered and makeup-free photos on social media and goes for days without looking in the mirror

“I’m overcoming the sexual trauma, the brainwashing that is the most powerful tool we have as women, our bodies,” they said. ‘I’m in therapy with a lot of these things’

Last year, Stodden came out as non-binary, which they said helped them heal after being sexualized from a young age.

They admitted they still struggle with body image every day, but they are in a better place than last year and will go days without looking in the mirror.

Stodden, who got engaged to their boyfriend Chris Sheng last year, has also made it a point to share unfiltered and makeup-free photos on social media as they learn to regain their self-esteem.

“I’m overcoming the sexual trauma, the brainwashing that is the most powerful tool we have as women, our bodies,” they told Yahoo Life. “Since I have a background where I was sexually groomed, I really thought that was my worth.

“Frankly, that’s where my worth came from. That [my body] is actually the most important thing about myself, which in retrospect and now as an adult is so disgusting. And I’m in therapy with a lot of these things.”

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