Dear Jane: I am afraid that my girlfriend will throw up when she discovers what I did with the boys behind her back. But it felt so good

Dear Jane,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost three years and we are very happy together. I even intend to present soon.

But last weekend I did something that betrayed her confidence, and I feel terrible about it.

See you, my girlfriend is one vegetarian Almost a decade. She is an animal rights activist and tries to be as environmentally friendly as possible – that’s why she initially stopped eating meat at the age of 16. It has been so long since she now feels sick in the thought of eating it.

When we met last year, she suggested that I also stopped eating meat, because it would be more convenient if we cooked together and share groceries. At that moment I agreed to make her happy and our lives easier.

However, it is now a year ago and, to be honest, I really miss meat.

My girlfriend always says how proud she is of me because I get vegetarian, and that most men would be too scared to stop eating meat because of their fragile masculinity. It feels great to make her so happy, but I’m not sure if it makes me happy.

Last weekend I watched football in a sports bar with my friends. After we all drank about five pints, one of my friends suggested that we have a wing -eating competition.

Everyone agreed. I didn’t want to be the stranger, so when the waitress came to take our order, I asked if they had a vegetable alternative. All the guys began to fool me and say that I was ‘beaten’ by my girlfriend and called me a ‘simp’ because I gave up eating meat for her.

So I decided to just eat the wings … and they taste Real Good.

When I got home, my girlfriend kissed me before I got the chance to brush my teeth. I was nervous that she would taste the meat, which she didn’t do, but I still feel terrible.

Now I am torn – I did not realize how much I missed until I was forced to eat it, but I want to make my girlfriend happy by staying a vegetarian.

Would it be a terrible idea to keep a meat -free diet when I’m with her, but to eat meat in secret when I’m away from home? That way I can get the best of both worlds.

By,

Meat me halfway

Best meat me halfway,

The healthiest and happiest relationships are always those in which one partner fully accepts the other – even when that person makes decisions or lifestyle choices with which they do not agree.

I have a friend who loves festivals and concerts. He loves music and dancing, but his wife sees the preference to see friends, read and take long walks. So most weekends go to a performance while his wife stays at home – and they have been happily married and keep deep apart for almost 30 years.

Healthy relationships require acceptance and meeting the other person where they are, instead of trying to form them who you want them to be.

It also requires honesty and communication – all this means that you should not keep your meat secret of your girlfriend.

Sit with her instead and tell her that you are not happy to be a vegetarian, because you like to eat meat. Maybe you could even offer to keep a meat -free diet with her and that you only eat meat when you are outside the house.

Remind her that two people do not have to share exactly the same interests or values. In fact, it is to keep different things, eat meat or otherwise, and respecting those differences is of vital importance for the health of a relationship.

I’m sure she will understand.

We all deserve to be respected and heard in a relationship – and if we are with people who cannot do that, it is often a sign that they are not the right person for us.

Dear Jane,

I have a friend I have known since my childhood, but over the years she has become more and more annoying.

Our parents went to the university together and at the same time had children, so we were very close while we grew up and constantly hang out.

But in high school I was attracted to sports and socialize, while she was more nerdy and eager to learn. Despite her best efforts to try to suit my friends, we eventually separated.

We have both graduated from the university and she has just moved to New York City, where I have been living for about a year. I have a great group of friends here, a great job and lots of hobbies. And guess what … She tries again to make her way in everything I do.

My mother forced me to include her in a number of social plans when she moved here for the first time – we came out to dinner a few times and I introduced her to some of my friends. But now she uses everything I told her about my life to copy me.

She became a member of my runclub and she even registered for the same half marathon that I run. She followed all my friends on Instagram and even sent some of them a message to hang around … Without me!

My last drop was today when she asked me to write a job reference because she signed up a job at my company.

This girl copies me in every aspect of my life, and I don’t know how to tell her to stop without sounding mean. What should I do?

By,

Copycat victim

Best copycat victim,

I can imagine how deeply annoying this must be.

I once had a friend with an acquaintance who really wanted to be in her world. This person followed all her friends on Instagram and made comments among their messages as if she knew them. My friend found it so deeply annoying that she blocked her – and even removed her from the annual Christmas party.

Although you cannot prevent this girl from joining the same clubs as you – or to contact your friends – you can express your concern, especially after she has asked for a task reference that you are clearly not at ease.

You can say no and set clear limits.

But I think there is a larger conversation that should be conducted here.

You can kindly explain to her that although you have known each other for a long time, you feel overwhelmed by the overlap in your life, because she moved to the same city.

Your friends and relationships are important to you and, to make them feel your own, you want a breathing room.

I would stop inviting her places to create some space between you. After a while she will undoubtedly find her own friends and hobbies – and you will not have to ruin the relationship for her.