Dear Jane: My father paid for my sister’s boob lane. I fear that the slur friends of two words are now saying behind her back

Dear Jane,

My sister is 19 years old and she has just completed her first year from the university. I am two years older and go to another university.

The college that she visits is known as a party school. The girls seem to give more to look hot than achieving good grades.

I just know by looking at my sister’s Instagram That she tries to fit hard by wearing poor outfits and tons of makeup.

I have just been at home before the summer and – to my absolute horror – it was immediately clear that she had a boob lane since I saw her for the last time.

My sister never worked for a day in her life. I demanded to know who paid for it and she told me that my father had made the $ 10,000 account.

I find the whole thing very disturbing. My sister is still so young! I don’t think my father should be encouraging, let alone pay for her plastic surgery.

It also makes me furious that my father will drop thousands of dollars on something that is so superficial for her, but only covers my rent and tuition fees, giving me a minimum wage work to study to study for everything he regards as a ‘luxury’.

When I told my friends about it, one of them called my sister a ‘spoiled bimbo’. To be honest, I am afraid she will be.

I tried to explain to her that if she does not change her ways, she will never know how to earn her own money and be stuck to other people for the rest of her life.

She answers that I am just jealous because our father does not buy gifts for me and I have a ‘boring’ university experience.

How can I get through her? And how can I prevent my father from encouraging these bad habits?

By,

Boob -Noteaap

Best boob -Note monkey,

It must be difficult to see your father fall this kind of money on your sister if he has almost not spent the same amount to you. And it is probably even more difficult to see him encourage her bad habits.

But just as you can’t control your sister and her choices, you can’t control your father and his. The only way you can find peace here is if you assume the mentality of ‘late’.

By that I mean a step back and just show your father and sister the consequences of their actions.

I learned this lesson many years ago in an anonymous alcoholics, where I heard that “we are powerless about people, places and things.”

If we accept that we cannot control others, we free ourselves from the pressure to take care of them.

So, although you may be right about your sister, she has her own way to follow, and nothing you say or do will influence her.

There will probably be a number of hard lessons on the road, but the only way she will learn from them is if you allow her to walk it herself.

Give her advice. But trying to force her to behave in a certain way, you will only exhaust and fill yourself with resentment if she doesn’t listen.

You sound like an independent hard worker, which will probably bring you many good things in the future. So instead of worrying about your sister, keep your head down, keep studying and keeping a focus on your own life.

Dear Jane,

I have four children. My oldest son, who is 21, has been with his girlfriend for almost a year. This is the first time that one of my children has had a serious partner, so I still get used to it.

Every year my entire extensive family does a large photo shoot with my parents, brothers and sisters and all cousins ​​and spouses. It takes months to organize because family members come from all over the country.

This year’s photo shoot will be in two weeks and my son asked if his girlfriend can be in the photos. My direct instinct was not to say a way, but I didn’t want to get him upset, so I just said I would think about it.

The thing is that I really don’t want her to be in it. One of my sister’s children included their boyfriend a few years ago and then they had a terrible break. Now the photos of that year are ruined by the ‘toxic’ ex-boyfriend of my niece.

On the other hand, the fiancé of my other niece has been included in the family photos long before they were engaged.

I also don’t really like this girlfriend and I doubt a lot that she and my son will be together for the long term.

Do I just have to leave her on the photos, knowing that when they inevitably separate, we all have to live with the memory of that failed relationship in our living room wall? Or should I put down my foot and say she can’t be there?

By,

Gone

Best cut,

I fully understand why you don’t want to record your son’s girlfriend. You don’t really love her and you don’t expect her to be in the – literal photo for a long time.

However, I want you to think about the message that she would send and the consequences you can face.

I recently had a birthday party. Days earlier two friends asked if they could take guests with them.

I know the guests, but they are not my friends, nor are they people with whom I would choose to spend a birthday.

I have thought for a long and hard thought about whether or not to say yes, and in the end I did.

As me not record them, it would send a much stronger message than if I did.

Friends, friends, spouses and women can all come and go – that’s just life.

I suspect that if you say no, your son might be deeply upset. So maybe yes, and let his girlfriend participate for a few photos – but also take a good amount of photos without her.

I’m sure your son will be happy. And who knows, maybe your recording of his girlfriend will improve your dynamics and you will eventually like her.

By the way, there is always Photoshop when the relationship goes south and you want to remove your hair!