Divorce and failure in love again is modern life, Kym and I are doing well

LOL and behold. Within hours of Kym Marsh declaring her love for a new man 19 years her junior on social media, the trolls got to work.

There were numerous comments directed at the 48-year-old actress and singer, along the lines of: “He looks like your son” and “I like you, Kim, but keep it to yourself.”

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Let’s remember that trolls rarely, if ever, say things from a place of love. These comments were made out of discomfort, jealousy, and with the sole purpose of shaming.

The waves of disapproval were palpable.

But that’s what happens when you’re a woman who’s had multiple partners in her life, and who society tells you should just quietly enter middle age and not brag about finding love again.

Her new husband is Samuel Thomas, 29, an actor, singer and vocal coach. They met while appearing in 101 Dalmatians: The Musical, in which Kym plays Cruella de Vil.

Kym has been married three times, just like me. In my opinion, she is a woman who dances to her own rhythm.

She dusted herself off

She has lived many lives, having become a mother at 19 and 21 while engaged to the father of her children, a time marked by financial instability and, no doubt, the biting judgment that all young mothers face.

She then married her first husband and became famous through the band Hear’Say. The marriage ended and she married for the second time.

But life was not without pain and sorrow. She had a daughter, but lost her premature son Archie shortly after his birth. The kind of pain that many struggle to recover from.

The loss of a child would test even the strongest relationships and it is no surprise that his marriage to Jamie Lomas did not last long.

Determined in her quest for love, Kym picked herself up and shook herself off.

Eventually she fell in love again, but due to work commitments her third marriage failed.

Part of what made the trolls so angry could be that it was only a year ago that she broke things off with Major Scott Ratcliff and now she has the nerve to say that she’s completely happy again.

With three marriages under her belt and children from different fathers, how dare she fall in love again with someone she already calls her “soulmate”?

We all have multiple relationships

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This kind of behavior makes people feel uncomfortable.

It doesn’t sit well with her. In fact, I’m sure many would rather see her miserable and broken-hearted until the end of time.

Here she is in all her amorous glory, showing the world that her search for love has, once again, been successful. I am overjoyed for her. You would think I would say that — as a woman who has been married three times and has children by different fathers and has not given up on her search for love.

Folks, things have changed. We are all living longer and now that the stigma of divorce has gradually disappeared, we are all in multiple relationships.

We no longer get married at twenty and stay in the same place all the time. next one 50 years, because women are now going out to work and building lives for themselves, and greater connectivity and accessibility has given us more choice. Maybe too much choice.

That’s why I really admire Kym Marsh. I don’t know her from Adam, but she seems like a woman after my own heart.

She is fearless when it comes to betting on love. She jumps in with both feet. She is a die-hard romantic, not daunted or so scarred by past experiences that she ever gives up on love.

She has an enormous strength that allows her to move on, while most people – often men – have one broken heart and can no longer think of love.

Things happen as they happen, people change

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Kym doesn’t give up. I don’t understand why people don’t see that as a virtue, as tenacious and courageous. She runs her own race.

While historically women have likely experienced more shame and disgrace when they divorce, we are learning that the end of relationships or marriages is not a “failure.”

Things happen as they do, people change, circumstances change and we now know that we don’t have to keep our mouths shut for the rest of our lives and get ourselves into trouble.

Besides, every relationship has its good points, its great moments and they can be good for us at that moment. It is not all disastrous.

I used to see divorce as a huge failure. Now that I’ve had three and there’s no chance of me ever walking down the aisle again, I’m much more positive about it.

It has given me personal freedom and I can acknowledge that I am not the same person I was 34 years ago when I first got married.

A romantic couple

Like Kym, I have always believed that if something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to make changes. At the same time, don’t give up on love.

There will be many people who think that Kym (and I) are idiots, that we are weak or desperate or too soft to tirelessly pursue a happy ending despite all the misfortune.

We’re not unlucky in love. In fact, we’re probably just a couple of romantics. And you can’t really put someone down for that, can you?

Kym is proof that women’s needs, wants and attitudes have changed. We are very capable of doing what we want.

In Kym’s words to one of her followers who objected to this new chapter in her life: “Do one!”

Put aside your jealousy and criticism and let’s all honor Kym Marsh.