A mother of three who went through a messy divorce at age 47, then slept with eight tinder dates in a year and documented it in a memoir, says dating is her “superpower.”
In her book, Available, published in June 2021 and recently released in paperback, Laura Williams, 51, documents what divorce dating after 40 is like in the internet age, and how exploring her sexuality helped her heal and find herself.
Williams had been married to her husband for 22 years when she was 47 years old. The couple had three children together, an apartment in Manhattan and a house in the countryside.
Author Laura Williams, 51, called middle-age dating her ‘superpower’ in a recent interview with the New York Post
Her 2021 memoir, Available, which documents her divorce and online dating experience in her 40s, was recently released in paperback.
“Our sex life wasn’t great anymore. There wasn’t really a passion between us.’ Williams told the New York Post† “But I expected that.”
One day, 4 years ago, her husband admitted to her that he was having an affair. She promptly told him to leave, filed for divorce, downloaded Tinder and was in a relationship within 5 months.
“I was 47 years old and I expected to be with the same man for the rest of my life,” she told the Post.
Last year in an interview on the blog about divorce advice Grace untetheredWilliams spoke of how the divorce shook her like a dead end and made her question who she was.
Williams was married to her husband for 22 years before he confessed to having an affair and they broke up. Top left, Williams on her wedding day at age 25. Right, Williams recently
Williams at age 21 with her later ex-husband, right. Williams posted this photo to her Instagram, sharing how little she knew when she was so young
“Death and divorce, and I’m not saying one is preferred over the other, but I can say for myself that the experience was akin to grieving,” Williams told Grace Untethered host, “The loss of my identity was so shocking that I really wondered, who am I if I’m not the woman?’
Williams – who had started dating her ex-husband at age 20 – decided to take the divorce as an opportunity and indulge in the dating scene she’d never experienced in her 20s.
She downloaded Tinder and started swiping right on dates blindly.
She told the post that the experience opened up a part of itself that lay dormant for years.
At 47, Williams began dating again. She slept with eight men she met on Tinder in 12 months and rediscovered herself in the process
“Now you have the freedom to do whatever you want,” Williams said, “if you want to sleep with two men on the same day, you can. If you want to have a rendezvous in the middle of the day, you are free. The only person who can judge you is you. And if it’s okay with you, cheat the rest.’
For twelve months she dove headfirst into the sex and dating scene, sleeping with eight different men and later documenting the experience in her memoir. Williams writes of an afternoon nap in a hotel, a meeting in the middle of the night in the city wearing nothing but a silk dress and a winter coat, and quickies for a lunch date.
Williams described the experience as an eye opening into her identity through her desires.
†[The question was] do I want to sleep with you now?’ Williams told the Post: “And it’s literally yes or no. I don’t really care about anything else. You don’t even have to be a good person. It does not matter.’
During her dating, Williams also tried to better understand men, using her post-coital pillow talk to probe the minds of the opposite sex by asking them a series of quick questions.
‘What do you like about this? What do you think of that?” she told the Post, “because I didn’t know that. And I wanted to understand grown men.’
Williams told the Post that she hopes her memoir will help women understand their own identities and become more in touch with how their sexuality can heal them.
She told the Post that dating in middle age is her “superpower,” and instead of feeling depressed about her age, she found her age and independence empowering.
“I didn’t believe in the theory that being older made me less desirable. Men were very attracted to the fact that I was a strong woman who didn’t want anything from them and was in charge,” Williams said.
Although Williams is in some sort of relationship now, she prefers not to label it.
‘I have become attached to someone. But I still keep the openness of saying, “If I wanted to have a one-night stand with someone, I could still do it.”
Williams told the Post that she hopes her memoir will help other women realize how much there is for them, and how sex can be a powerful ally in overcoming heartbreak.
“Sex was important to me. It made me alive when I felt dead inside,” she said, “I found strength I didn’t know I had. And I also found openness and sexual curiosity that I couldn’t have imagined in a million years.’