Experts share the key things you should say and do for a loved one on their death bed – and why you should keep talking to them after they die
Experts have shared the most important things to say and do for a loved one on their deathbed – and why you should keep talking to them after they’ve passed away.
Hospice nurses who have seen countless people die recommend keeping your last words simple and not being afraid to show emotion.
They also recommend taking time for final goodbyes, being emotionally present and making the room as comfortable as possible for your loved one.
“If you know what will happen, it halves your fears,” Narinder Bazen, a death midwife in Bangor, Maine, told the newspaper. Wall Street Journal.
Her first recommendation was to make your loved one’s environment peaceful.
Experts have shared the most important things to say and do for a loved one on their deathbed – and why you should keep talking to them after they’ve passed away
“When we create this feeling around the person that promotes deep, deep relaxation, we release him or her,” Bazen told the WSJ.
She added that you should take time to say goodbye because it only happens once.
“There is an invitation to experience awe when a loved one dies,” Bazen said.
Hadley Vlahos, a hospice nurse in Biloxi, Mississippi, who has written a book about life’s final chapter, gave some simple recommendations on what to say.
“You want them to hear what’s important,” Vlahos told the WSJ.
“Say I love you.” “Thank you.” “I’ll be okay.” If you have something to make up for, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I forgive you’ will do.”
An author of six books about life’s final chapter has also revealed why you should keep talking to your loved one in the moments after they die
Bob Uslander, a palliative care and end-of-life physician in San Diego, California, said that when you don’t know what to say, sometimes touch alone is enough.
“Sometimes the best thing you can do is sit quietly, hold someone’s hand and let them feel your steady, loving presence,” Uslander told the WSJ.
Grief expert David Kessler, who has written six books on the end of life, has recommended continuing to talk even after the person has died because hearing is believed to be one of the last senses to lose function.
Once the person has passed away, for your own peace of mind, consider leaving the room before the hospice staff removes the body.
