A former member of the Mormon church has revealed the disturbing melodies the cult taught to children as young as elementary school.
Alyssa Grenfell, 31, has built a fan base of hundreds of thousands of followers over the past few years as she shared her story — from her upbringing in a devout Mormon family to her decision to leave the church as a young adult.
Alyssa often delves into the many quirks of growing up as a Mormon and recently revealed (and performed) some of the songs she learned since childhood at her religious school.
First up, and most breathtaking, was “I Like Mormon Boys,” sung to the tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back, the iconic early-’90s rap homage to women with prominent posteriors.
Ex-Mormon Alyssa Grenfell, 31, is known by hundreds of thousands of people on social media for speaking out against her former religion, which she left at a young age
As her latest insight into her Mormon upbringing, Alyssa previewed three songs she learned growing up — including a bizarre, sanitized rendition of Baby Got Back
The very explicit lyrics include lines like ‘when a girl comes in with a little waist and a round thing in your face, you get excited’ and ‘My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.’
The eerily sanitized Mormon version, of which Alyssa sang the first few lines, goes: “I like Mormon boys and I can’t lie / You other girls can’t deny / When a man walks in with a notebook and a smile on his face, you get a date!”
‘A heavenly partner! / Oh but wait! / He goes on a mission and makes you wish you had a man / Someone to hold your hand.
‘So deacons! (what) Teachers! (what) We don’t want your looks / ‘Cause your brothers are handsome and you’re not / So let those righteous priests come, HUH!’
A quick Google search revealed several videos of pre-teen girls enthusiastically reciting the lyrics to the rhythm of the original Baby Got Back verse.
The next song Alyssa described is called Follow the Prophet. She added that children learn this song starting at age three.
The text, which repeats “Follow the Prophet,” referring to adhering to the teachings of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith, concludes: “Follow the prophet, do not go astray / Follow the prophet, he knows the waaay.”
The third song Alyssa shared, which she also learned since elementary school, is called “I Hope They Call Me On a Mission.”
Alyssa and her husband were married in the Mormon church, but she and her husband left the church not long after
Since leaving the church, Alyssa has spoken regularly about her experiences, from the bizarre dating norms to the hyper-strict rules of the Mormon institution Brigham Young University
Commenters on Alyssa’s 58-second video expressed their disgust at the “indoctrination” effect of the songs – with many particularly shocked by the Mormon rendition of Baby Got Back
The song is apparently intended to get young children excited about their “mission”: a mandatory rite of passage for Mormons in young adulthood, in which they spend a year traveling to far-flung places and living elsewhere to convert people in distant communities to the Mormon faith.
The lyrics, as Alyssa sang them, are: “I hope they call me on a mission / When I’ve grown a foot or two / I hope by then I’ll be ready / To teach, preach and to work as missionaries do, do-do-do-do.”
Commenters on the YouTube version of Alyssa’s 58-second video were stunned, especially by the Baby Got Back parody.
“You get a date… a heavenly partner!” Well, that escalated quickly,” one joked.
“I think my brain just had a 404 error. I was NOT prepared for the Mormon indoctrination version of Baby Got Back,” a second admitted.
“What they did to Baby Got Back should be a crime in all 50 states and US territories,” a third declared.
“I was expecting anthems, not THIS one,” a fourth added.
“Follow the ‘profit,’” chimed in a fifth, targeting the Mormon church’s notorious treasury, estimated in the hundreds of billions.
‘The most brainless thing is that they make three-year-old children sing them. They want to get them doctrinated early in life so that they don’t have to question the church later in life. It’s insane,” a seventh commented, disturbed by the underlying logic.
Alyssa married her Mormon husband in her early twenties.
Not long after, the couple left the Mormon church after struggling with the extent of discrimination against women, people of color, the LGBTQ+ community, and more.
Since then, she has spoken regularly about her experiences, from the bizarre norms of dating, to postmortem baptisms and the extremely strict rules of the Mormon institution Brigham Young University, to the phenomenon of the “cult voice.”
