Having a girl is weird, but my sex life hasn’t changed, admits Olly Murs

WITH a beautiful wife, an adorable new baby and a UK tour planned, Olly Murs is undoubtedly living the best life of his life.

But there’s one aspect of fatherhood he didn’t predict: the challenge of becoming a “girl dad.”

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“Parenthood is amazing, but it’s also tough,” says Olly, who has a five-month-old daughter, Madison.

“The most overwhelming thing for me was having a girl.

“It was like…whoa. I don’t know how to be a woman, I don’t know their emotions.

“There will be things she will experience that I never got to experience. Even now, it’s scary to think about navigating her future.

“I know how tough a boy has to be, because I’ve been there. I knew what kind of parent I would be with a boy. There would be a certain discipline. But having a girl changed that.

“I didn’t care what I had, but when Madison came out, and she was a girl, I was like, ‘Oh, this is weird. ‘

“Now I’m starting to understand, but being the father of a girl brings its own challenges.”

Two days after Madison was born in April, the pop star went on tour with Take That.

‘Felt extremely guilty’

While her wife’s mother Amelia stepped in to help and sent Olly daily updates on mum and baby’s progress, the star admits it was hard missing those precious first moments.

And then paternal guilt, an emotion that one in five fathers say they experience, really kicked in.

“We had everything in order, but it was a struggle,” says Olly.

“I felt extremely guilty leaving Amelia with the baby.

“But she was understanding and we got on with it. We survived and we are doing absolutely fine now.

“Amelia has been incredibly supportive while I’ve been away because the job I have means I can’t take paternity leave — it’s not a nine-to-five job. It’s something Amelia and I are just starting to come to terms with.

“That was the hardest part of fatherhood for me so far: leaving Madison. I felt like I wasn’t really there. I felt like I didn’t have a connection with her and she was like, ‘Who is this guy?’

“I feel guilty most days. In those first few months, most men probably feel like they’re still hesitating.

“You’re there, but you’re not there. You’re also trying to navigate around your wife and make sure she’s okay.

“My job is what it is, and I do it for my family. But even now, doing this interview, I feel guilty that I’m not home with the girls.”

Now that he has more time to focus on his young family, Olly is doing everything he can to be an active dad.

“I’m at a stage where I support Amelia,” he says.

“If she wants me to babysit for a while, or go to the shops, or make a high chair, that’s my job now. I do what she wants. I’m the spectator.”

If Amelia wants me to babysit Madison or change a diaper, I’m there right away

Olly

But 40-year-old Olly knows his good intentions aren’t always well received.

The singer admits that Amelia, a bodybuilder he married in July last year, can get tired of his constant questioning.

He says, “If Amelia needs me to babysit Madison or change a diaper, I’ll be right there.”

“But she does say to me, ‘Olly, if you ask me again when the last feeding was, I’m going to kick you in the face because you’ve asked me eight times already.’

“I can’t help it. As a father, I’m just kind of… there. But I’m not useless. Just tell me what to do. Give me a job and I’ll do it.”

Speaking to Olly, who is set to tour in April, it becomes clear that fatherhood is a big change for him.

But it was also an eye-opener for him to see how Amelia, 32, went through all kinds of emotions as a new mother.

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He says: “Sometimes Amelia would just cry and she didn’t know why. And I think we had such a strange situation, with me on tour, so those early days were tough.

“But she’s the most incredible mother. I always knew she would be. That’s why I married her.”

Another challenge is dealing with over-anxious fans, while he wants to spend time with his daughter.

Olly tells us he has to miss out on the ‘fun stuff’ like swimming lessons and sensory classes because fans want to take photos and talk to him.

Instead of being rude and telling them to leave him alone, he’s learned that it’s easier not to come.

Olly says: “I don’t want to distract Madison from her learning process because other people want to take a picture with me or say hello.

“And I feel guilty about that, but it’s part of my job.

“I will always be polite to my fans, but being a father takes that to a whole other level.”

Fan interference has put the normally mild-mannered Olly in a difficult position and it is clearly frustrating him.

“There have been a few times when we’ve gone out and it’s felt awkward,” he admits.

Our sex life hasn’t been affected at all, and I’m not lying when I say that

Olly

“People can get in our faces a little bit when we’re with the baby. They don’t take pictures or anything and most people are friendly, but you go into dad mode.

“I’m not on stage. I’m not a pop star right now. I’m a father and I’m taking care of my daughter and that’s not the time or the place. But I can’t choose when or where people come and say hello to me.

Couple in love

“Ultimately, I have to accept that people show up when they want to. That’s part of the job. But it can also be crap.”

For Olly, being with his family means everything, and he is more in love with his beautiful wife than ever.

When the topic of sex and intimacy after giving birth comes up, Olly gets a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Our sex life has not been affected at all, and I’m not lying when I say that,” he says.

“But for us it never really changed. We’ve always been good in that regard.

“It’s just finding time around the baby. If I’m not cleaning up diapers or feeding, I ask her, ‘When are we going to get some of that?'”

Speaking of nappies, Olly has really settled into his role as ambassador for Pampers and tells us that their high-quality nappies are a godsend as Madison suffers from nappy rash.

“It was a big event for us,” he says.

“Madi had a really hard time during the summer because of the heat, so they were so helpful.

“I still smile when I think about my life now. Going to the store to get Pampers… it’s a big change.”

• Try new Pampers Premium Protection nappies by downloading the Pampers Club app for a £6 voucher. See pampers.co.uk/products/pampers-premium-protection-nappies. T&Cs apply.

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