How influencers are exposing cheats on TikTok
PICTURE the scenario – you suspect your beloved boyfriend or husband is cheating on you… So what do you do?
You could confront them – or you could hire a TikTok influencer to try and lure them into a flirty conversation, to see if they remain loyal or take the bait.
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Honeytrapping isn’t a new phenomenon, but while it would have once conjured up images of female private investigators stealthily following love rats, it’s now something that can be done from behind a screen.
And while TikTok is most known for its viral dances and funny cat content, it’s increasingly being used to expose love rats too, by carrying out ‘loyalty tests’.
As relationship expert and Wingman founder Tina Wilson explains: “TikTok honey trapping is basically when someone catches a cheat ‘red-handed’ and they share it online – it’s a new play on the original ‘honeytrap’, when someone sets up a tempting situation to test their partner’s loyalty.”
‘I can get 500 loyalty test requests a day’
With over 100m ‘loyalty test’ posts, it’s certainly content that’s growing in popularity, and influencers such as Madeline Smith, 30, have helped establish the now-popular trend.
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She has over 210k TikTok followers and has helped hundreds of British women by conducting loyalty tests on their partners, and has tested the partners of over 5,000 clients worldwide.
Madeline, from LA, says: “Depending on how much I’m posting online and on social media sites like TikTok, I can get up to 500 requests a day from women reaching out to me to loyalty test their partners.
“It’s popular content, as everyone is looking for love and so humans are just naturally drawn to that sort of video and ‘drama’ too.”
‘Eight out of 10 will fail’
Madeline started carrying out loyalty tests for clients a couple of years ago – and has seen demand surge.
She says: “I started off doing loyalty tests on more of an ad hoc basis helping friends who’d reached out to me for help initially.
“Then my fiance encouraged me to put it out there more on TikTok more focusing on just the loyalty test format two years ago so for the last few years it’s been more of an official service as demand has increased.
“Now I have a system and advertise it on my website as so many women reach out to me needing assistance – it’s completely confidential and I don’t get involved in anything that happens after the loyalty test has been carried out.
I’ve had some women who don’t consider it a fail unless he starts engaging in sexual chat, whereas other women think if he responds at all it’s a fail”
Madeline Smith
“Overall, I’d guestimate around eight out of 10 will fail – although this is a skewed statistic as women are usually reaching out about a partner who already have a sketchy history already – so it’s not that all partners cheat!
“A lot of women get in touch and just want to talk through it first, and some just submit their request online via my submission form.
“Everyone has different ‘breaking points’ so I try to figure it out on a case by case basis when working out what approach to take to put them to the test – I’ve had some women who don’t consider it a fail unless he starts engaging in sexual chat, whereas other women think if he responds at all it’s a fail.
“They often just need to know for sure that it’s not just in their head and they were right to be suspicious, and they need proof to be able to move on.
“In the beginning it was quite depressing, and it was really surprising to me what people were capable of, but not much shocks me now and it doesn’t really affect me now, and I’m in a happy relationship and am engaged.”
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‘Your husband is cheating on you’
There are several ways in which cheats are exposed using TikTok.
Another TikToker used her platform to put a direct shout out to one unsuspecting lady called Michaela, to reveal a very specific scenario she’d encountered while out for dinner.
In one video liked over 284k times, she says: “If it were me I’d want to know…
“If your name is Michaela and your husband’s is Donald and you have two kids, one a little girl and a baby boy and you live in the Virgina area – your husband is cheating on you.
“I was out to lunch on Thursday at a restaurant and there was almost nobody there, but in the booth behind us was your husband and a woman by the name of Brittany.
“What really p****d me off was this was Brittany’s first time meeting your children.
“Your husband is cheating on you and he bought your children to meet his mistress.”
‘You single, right?’
It’s not just women carrying out TikTok ‘loyalty tests’.
The outcome of these tests, including screen grabs of the inbox messages shared are then shared publicly, and while the cheat’s identity is kept confidential, this content can easily go viral, and some are even making it into a lucrative business.
One male user was offering to do the loyalty test for other suspicious men for a £10 PayPal fee.
Once paid, he would then message the unsuspecting woman, initiating a flirty conversation to see how she would react.
“You single right?” he asks one woman as a test, and she responds: “Do you think you would get a reply if I wasn’t single? Respect me please.”
She gives him her number and the whole conversation is screenshotted, sent to the boyfriend and also uploaded to TikTok – where it’s been liked over 200k times.
A lucrative ‘business’
All 4 documentary Untold: Cheat Detectives, presented by radio host Daisy Maskell, first uncovered how lucrative this trend can be back in 2022, with Daisy revealing at the time there were people out there earning up to £1,400 a week exposing cheats.
Additionally, it helps users build a loyal following, which in turn helps the honey trapper earn recognition as an influencer, in turn helping them earn commission from their videos and gain sponsorship deals.
Tina says: “There’s big money in being a professional honey trapper, and there are bespoke honey trapping services and private detectives who list this under their services.
“Some users will even pay hundreds to find out if their partner will ‘like’ or ‘comment back’, with the honey trapper claiming to know they ‘got you where they want you’ when the person being investigated likes a photo back’.”
I can charge anywhere between $65 to $175 a time, depending on how quickly they want me to do it, so I can make up to a couple of thousand pounds a month”
Madeline Smith
For Madeline, it’s not all about the money, although she also admits it can be profitable.
She says: “I do some free work but also charge for my time and expertise as it’s a very nuanced skill – I’m a mum and I obviously can’t pay the bills on sunshine and rainbows!
“The amount I make each month really varies, but I can charge anywhere between $65 to $175 a time, depending on how quickly they want me to do it, so I can make up to a couple of thousand pounds a month I suppose.
“It can be profitable posting the loyalty test videos on TikTok but it’s not a huge moneymaker – I made just over $200 last month on views.
“But it’s good advertisement and women often contact me saying after watching my videos they finally had the strength to leave a bad relationship, which is so rewarding.”
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‘Babes, red flag!’
UK based TikToker Dani Bose is another creator who has been ‘employed’ – although she declines payment – to put potential cheats to the test.
In one video she shared on TikTok, she shows the messages between herself and a suspicious girlfriend, who asks: “Hey babe, can you please test my boyfriend?
“He cheated on me about four months ago with my ex best friend and has promised he won’t do it again but there’s people saying he’s been talking to someone else and I just want to find out how loyal he actually is.”
She replies: “Babes, red flag!! If he cheated you should bin him! But yes no worries, are you OK with me using it on TikTok and keeping it all confidential?”
Promisingly during the chat, he initially says he has a girlfriend, but then says: “Been thinking about ending it… Especially with a sort like you messaging me.”
The video was liked over 29k times, and received over 1000 comments – many of which from girls begging for help testing their own men.
The perfect platform
Revelling in the drama of a cheat being exposed isn’t new, and even before the internet affair rumours would always be the focus of gossip and intrigue.
However, the platform lends itself to this sort of expose perfectly, with users able to easily seek out this sort of content using hashtags such as #cheatersgetcaught.
Tina says: “TikTok provides a perfect platform for this type of content because it is highly shareable.
“It ultimately taps into people’s fascination with drama, curiosity, gossip, as well as a strong desire to get justice!
There is a sense of satisfaction when the cheater gets exposed.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Trust issues and jealousy
However, Tina advises thinking twice before being drawn in to testing your partner in this way.
She says: “TikTok honey trapping screams trust issues and jealousy amongst couples.
“There are roots in self-esteem and confidence issues with the honey trapper proactively out to catch their partner as they suspect the worst in them.
“It is not a positive outlook for any romance, even if the person being honey-trapped doesn’t cheat, there are evident trust issues that need working on a personal level.
“If the honey trapper has strong suspicions that their partner or love interest is cheating, or has a wondering eye, then they need to reassess the relationship, and inevitably their choices in picking a partner.
“Anyone who goes down this route needs to look at why they would want to do this.
“Do they really believe their partner is cheating?
“If so, why stay with and set up a honey trap?
“It’s better to walk away. Naming and shaming on TikTok is not a way of getting justice – it only will lead to more issues going forward and others being wary of you.”
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