Husband-to-be says fiancee overreacts after finding old wedding photos
A BRIDE-to-be disagrees with her future husband about the wedding venue.
She was initially happy with the location and found it ‘special’ after they agreed on it together.
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But six months after they agreed to the location, she discovered he had been married to his ex-wife before.
The news only came to light after the bride-to-be went through her partner’s old Facebook photos and found an old wedding photo of him at the same location.
She expressed her concerns on the online forum Mumsnet, first explaining that they had both booked their wedding venue about six months ago, after ‘mutually deciding on a location that was special to us’.
The bride-to-be wrote: “I just found out that his wedding to his first wife was at the same location after coming across an old wedding photo of him.
“It must have been a special place for him and his ex-wife too! I didn’t mention it because I don’t know if I think it’s wrong that it’s strange to choose the same location?
After popping the question, the bride-to-be was inundated with people sharing their opinions, with many feeling that her husband’s choice was a “little odd”.
Another added: “Agree!
“And he should have told you his last wedding was at the same location!”
Another added: “I find it a bit odd. The people on his side will probably find it a bit odd, I think.
“I wouldn’t want to have pictures taken knowing that there will be pictures in the exact same spot with the first woman. That could be me too.
“I think it will be difficult for others not to compare the two weddings if they were also at the first one.”
Someone else simply wrote, “It’s really weird.”
Another Mumsnet user also wrote about a similar experience.
They wrote, “Yes, I know someone who did this.
Really weird
“All the family and friends on his side were the same. It was like déjà vu. And somehow the wedding vows sounded less sincere, because he had literally stood in the exact same place and made the same promises to someone else.
“To make matters worse, his second wife had the same first name as his first wife and then took his last name. So same first name, same last name, same location, same guests. Very strange.”
Most commenters were stunned and wondered what other guests would think.
One of them wrote: “Very strange. Probably some guests were invited to both – that alone would be enough for me not to want this.”
How to choose the perfect wedding venue?
By Josie Griffiths, Deputy Editor of Fabulous Digital and bride-to-be
When I got engaged in April 2023, choosing a venue was at the top of my to-do list. After all, you can’t plan anything else until it’s set.
And because we knew we wanted to tie the knot on a Saturday the following summer, time was of the essence, so we booked the venue within three weeks.
Here are my top tips for finding the perfect location with minimal stress:
- Think about what kind of venue you want – there are loads of options, a church wedding, a country house, a castle, a town hall, somewhere abroad, a rustic barn or a tent in a field. Think about weddings you’ve been to, what appealed to you and what didn’t, and use Instagram and Pinterest for inspiration.
- Set your budget – a quick Google will tell you the average wedding costs £20k, but some of the places I looked at cost more than that for the venue alone. Make sure you know how much you can actually spend before you go too far wrong.
- Pick a location: Our families live 230 miles apart (about a 5 hour drive), so we quickly eliminated the places that we felt were too far for my fiancé’s side of the family, and then we picked a specific location from which we had several to choose from.
- Have a look at a wedding database – there are loads of good ones now, my favourite is Hitched where you can compare loads of venues and get basic information on things like venue fees and rules, something they don’t usually list on their own websites. That way you’ve narrowed down your choices before you even start asking around.
- Don’t be influenced by trends. Choose what YOU want as a couple. The current viral trend will make no sense in 10 or 20 years when you look back at your photos.
- Think about decorations – one of the deciding factors for our venue was the fact that there was very little decoration needed as the venue spaces spoke for themselves. Yes, we paid a little more for a beautiful venue, but it allowed us to save on flowers, table decorations and wall art.
- Trust your gut – you can spend hours thinking about the options, but from experience I know that planning a wedding takes a huge amount of time and it is often best to only start when you are 80% convinced. Plus it is a competitive business and if you wait too long you could lose out.
Others suggested it could be due to the groom’s lack of creativity.
“I think he probably just doesn’t have much imagination,” said one Mothernet user.
“I think it’s weird and wrong, but I can imagine a lot of men thinking, oh, that was a great place, I might as well go back there.”
The bride-to-be later returned to the social media thread to share more about her thoughts.
She wrote: “Thank you so much for all your quick responses.
“Then it doesn’t just apply to me, I’ll have to talk to him about it.
“As far as I can see, he and his first wife were married in another building in the same garden.
“The photo backdrops would be the same because it’s clearly the same garden. I think (Hope) the reception location is different too, but I’m not sure, I’ll have to ask him.”
