I always get spooked when I sleep with men – sex ruins my relationship chances
A WOMAN has shared her concerns after she was repeatedly ghosted after sleeping with men.
The single woman revealed that she is often heavily sexualized by men because she is curvy and feels like men are only interested in her for sex.
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After sleeping with men and then being ignored, the woman wanted advice as she claimed sex was ‘ruining’ her relationships.
On a recent episode of the Closet Confessions podcast, we heard actress and online personality Coco Sarel and author and journalist Candice Brathwaite give their advice to the anonymous listener.
The anonymous woman wrote to the duo, explaining: “I think sex ruins potential relationships.”
The curvy woman confessed how quickly she does the deed to men and shared her concerns after being ghosted several times.
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The woman admitted: “I started dating again last year after getting out of a relationship and I honestly felt disappointed, to say the least, by the men I was dating.
“I think I slept with some of them way too early, I’m a curvy girl and I always feel like I’m highly sexualized and sometimes I find that men only want me for sex.
“I’ve noticed a pattern in how they behave after ghosting or acting strangely.”
As a result, the woman added: “Due to the huge disappointment of this, I took a break from dating for a while, but I recently started back up and opened my dating sites. swimming poolbecause I really want to meet someone.”
The woman explained that she had recently met an “amazing” man, but things quickly changed after they slept together.
She confessed: “I met this man and he was amazing. We talk almost every day and have great dates.
“We had been seeing each other for a little over a month and then we started sleeping together. I held my breath because I’m afraid history is repeating itself.
“He was acting strange for the first few days, I’m not going to lie, but he started talking normally again, but despite talking every day he didn’t organize an appointment for us due to his busy schedule.
Dealing with sex addiction
IF you, or someone you know, is dealing with sex addiction, here’s everything you need to know…
Seek professional help: Consulting a therapist who specializes in sex addiction can be very helpful. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches can help address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Join support groups: Connecting with others experiencing similar challenges can provide support and understanding. Groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) provide a safe space to share experiences and gain insights.
Setting boundaries: Set clear boundaries to avoid triggers and situations that can lead to addictive behavior. This includes limiting internet use, avoiding certain places or ending unhealthy relationships.
Develop healthy habits: Participate in activities that promote well-being and satisfaction, such as exercise, hobbies or volunteer work. These can help redirect energy to positive outlets.
Mindfulness and stress management: Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can help manage stress and reduce the urge to engage in addictive behaviors.
Education: Learning more about sex addiction can help you understand your condition and recognize patterns and triggers. Knowledge is a powerful tool in managing addiction.
Responsibility: Having a trusted friend or sponsor to check in with can provide accountability and support. This person can help you stay on track with your recovery goals.
Avoid isolation: Isolation can worsen addictive behavior. Try to maintain social connections and look for healthy relationships that provide support and companionship.
Set realistic goals: Recovery is a journey, and setting small, achievable goals can help you stay motivated and track your progress.
Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help manage the symptoms of sex addiction, especially if there are co-occurring mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety.
“He warned me before we went to bed that he would be busy in July, but now that I’m not seeing him for two weeks I think I’m falling into that trap.”
Eager for advice, she asked, “I don’t know what to do, does sex really ruin my relationship chances?”
Sarel and Candice were eager to share their thoughts, and they both agreed that the listener was putting men to bed too quickly.
Sarel said: ‘I am a big believer in celibacy at some point in your life. I will advocate for it until the day I die.
In this regard, even though you said you waited, a month was too soon
Candice Brathwaite
“I think at some point in your life you have to go through an intention period where you actively don’t have sex because you don’t want to, because I think it opens you up to a world where you find yourself discovering yourself, but you also base your connections not on anything physical.”
Not only this, but she also explained, “I think as a specifically curvier girl, I completely understand the over-sexualization of us.
“Be sure to pull up the drawbridge. It must close.
“But also understand that you have to protect yourself, because you know that sometimes you oversexualize.”
Which generation has the most sex?
A new report has lifted the lid on the bedroom antics.
The study, conducted by experts at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, revealed the average number of times people of different generations have sex per month.
- Gen Z – three times a month
- Millennials – five times a month
- Gen X – five times a month
- Boomers – three times a month
After this, Candice said, “A month was too soon in this regard, even though you said you waited.
“I expected a quarter, three months.”
Not only this, but the duo explained that playing hard to get is the way forward, as Candice advised: “Always ignore. Always busy. He has to take you down.
“A man likes a chase at the end of the day. That’s why I believe in serial dating.
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“Date a lot, date a lot. Nobody says it has to sleep with these men.
“If women just said, ‘F**k it, we’re going on strike today’… would you want to see change? Close the drawbridge.
‘You can’t let the fear of being single control you. You will get hurt.”
Both women advised that the best course of action is to wait six months after dating and talk to someone new before jumping into bed, as they emphasized: “I think specifically for you, you should make a rule that you’re between six months and a year before you’re even dating in that capacity.”
After this, Sarel assured: “What celibacy does to you: your standards skyrocket.
‘You don’t have time anymore because you have the current of sex off the table. It’s not even a conversation.”
