I could have died weeks before the surrogate had my baby – I lived because of my brother

August 31, 2024

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I could have died weeks before the surrogate had my baby – I lived because of my brother

MAGDA Barton, 36, manager of an online learning company, lives in Edinburgh with her husband Tom, 37, a university lecturer, and their daughter Hannah, 22 months old.

“When the midwife passed my newborn baby, I held her and promptly burst into tears. My husband Tom and I couldn’t believe that after years of struggling, we finally had the baby we’d been dreaming of. It was all thanks to our surrogate Sarah* and my brother Maciej – who risked his health to give me a life-saving kidney.

Magda Barton is now back to full health after a battle with end-stage kidney diseasePhoto: Anna Kowalik

Magda recovers in hospital after her kidney transplantPhoto: Anna Kowalik

With husband Tom and baby Hannah, thanks to surrogate mother SarahPhoto: Anna Kowalik

Tom and I met when we were 18 and we knew we wanted children.

After we got married in August 2013, we tried, but after three years I still wasn’t pregnant.

The tests were inconclusive, which was very frustrating.

In 2016 I started experiencing vision problems.

It turned out I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease that had led to premature kidney failure.

Fortunately, it was stabilized with medication and I would have to continue taking it indefinitely, but no one could predict if and when my kidney function would deteriorate.

The doctors said I would eventually need a transplant, which was a huge shock, but I stayed positive.

The desire to have a child overrode everything and we saw no reason why we could no longer be parents.

In the meantime, I was referred for IVF by the NHS and two years later I started the procedure.

However, my kidney function declined from 30% to 15% and our gynecologist advised me against carrying a child myself and suggested that we find a surrogate mother.

I spent £45,000 having a baby and now I may have to quit my job because the government won’t let us take her home.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but apart from being tired, I felt well enough. So we opted for IVF, where my eggs were harvested and embryos were created.

Sarah, who was in her 40s, got in touch and explained that she had already been a surrogate for two couples. Her family was complete and she wanted to help others.

In 2021, we joined the Facebook group Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS).

Before we were approved to join the private surrogate matching group, we had to provide a certificate of good conduct and rules of conduct. We also had to create a profile detailing what kind of people we were and why we wanted to start a family. This would make a surrogate feel like we met her criteria.

Sarah, who was in her forties, contacted me and told me that she had been a surrogate mother for two couples. Her family was complete and she wanted to help others.

I was put on the transplant list

Before I met her in August, we had chatted online and we got along really well.

Later she met Tom and introduced us to her husband.

We all agreed it could work and signed the papers.

COTS supported us throughout the entire process and made the whole process a lot less stressful.

The embryo transfer took place in March 2021 and two weeks later we did a pregnancy test on Sarah, which was positive.

Countless tears of joy were shed.

We were in constant contact with Sarah during her pregnancy.

We sat with her, talked to the baby and supported her in every way we could.

We paid all her expenses, including physical therapy, travel and time off from work, from our savings.

But a few months later I started to feel more and more tired.

Tests showed that my kidney function had deteriorated to the point where I was in terminal stage. I was put on the transplant list, which was very frightening.