I ditched dating apps after crude photos and ‘kinks checklist’… one offer made me gag
AFTER ten years of swiping, many singles lose faith in dating apps – and I’m one of them.
According to Ofcom’s Online Nation report, platforms such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and Grindr have all seen significant drops in user numbers, with Tinder alone losing 600,000 users (5 percent).
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The figures highlight a shift in digital dating habits, as more and more people appear to be looking for alternatives outside of apps.
After my five-year relationship ended last year, I nervously re-entered the dating world.
“Don’t worry,” my perpetually single friend warned. “Dating apps are now cesspools of cyber-flashers, catfishers and Only Plans time-wasters – guys who love messaging but never want to meet.”
Dating apps are now cesspools of cyber-flashers, catfishers and OnlyPlans time wasters”
Georgette’s friend
Curious, I downloaded classics like Plenty of Fish, Hinge, Tinder and Happn, anticipating the old pleasures of cheeky biographies and exotic holiday snaps.
Instead, I encountered a sea of profiles that looked more like political manifestos than introductions.
Welcome to the world of wake-fishing, catfishing’s preachy cousin.
I swiped past a man whose bio screamed, “DON’T SWIPE IF YOU’RE A TORY.” His photos? All protest selfies, complete with banners, unwashed hair and hoodies.
That’s a red one I don’t want under my bed.
Then there were the self-proclaimed Eco Warriors – less aggressive but just as creepy. Their profiles were full of boasts about green living, yet they shamelessly posed with disposable cups.
The irony was almost as frothy as the foam on their oat milk lattes.
Honestly, I’d rather have the old-fashioned show-offs back, showing off their fancy cars and taking blown-up gym selfies.
But if I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I was wrong.
Cyber flashers and kink checklists
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Two minutes later I received a private message from MrWrong.
“Say hello to my not so little friend,” he wrote, accompanied by a shaved photo of his member. Charming.
But he wasn’t the only cyber-flasher to sneak into my inbox.
“This is how excited I am to match you,” said another, sending me a similar image from Down Under.
And when it came to actually meeting some of these men, things got even worse.
One guy showed up with a real one kink checklist – complete with questions like “Would you like a threesome?” and “Do you like anal?” – marking answers with a pen as if he were having a job interview.
One man came up with a real kink checklist, complete with questions like “Would you like to have a threesome?” and ‘Do you like anal?’
Georgette Culley
Furthermore, he chose to drink Diet Coke all night while I downed the prosecco, after which he made an unwanted move under the table and stuck his hand up my skirt!
Another man I met seemed decent enough at first, but he turned out to be way too sensitive.
As he leaned in for a kiss, I caught a whiff of his unwashed beard – and it was game over.
The experience was so unpleasant that it completely ruined the beard for me.
“That’s it, I’ve had it,” I said to my friend over coffee. “If this is the modern way to meet someone, I’m out.”
Old-fashioned dating
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So how do people meet in real life (IRL) these days? The formula hasn’t changed much: join local clubs or hobby groups, ask friends to introduce you to their hot single friends, mingle at work, use dating mixers or try your luck at the gym or a bar.
Even striking up a conversation with that handsome stranger on your morning train can work.
Switching apps can feel intimidating, because personal rejection hurts a little more. But as my friend (who met her husband at the gym) says, it’s worth the risk!
Being an optimist, I thought I’d put these old-fashioned dating hacks to the test.
The most important dating trends of 2025
- Swamping: When you find someone with whom you can comfortably share your “swamp” and release the pressure of being anything but your true authentic self.
- No occupancy: When you choose to wait longer to move in with your partner because you value your personal space.
- Fiscal attractiveness: When you do not settle for less and are looking for a match that is financially secure and that you find attractive.
- Rejuve dating: When you reject the blues and grow from past experiences so you can fully embrace the future of your dating journey.
- Economical-mattized: If you like to go on dates, but are in the sweet spot between being cheap and economical. Hidden gems, loyalty cards: all your type on paper.
- Noisy dating: Cut to the chase, be open and to the point with what you want so you don’t waste your time.
- Marmalade: When you literally put your other half ‘before everything’, much like Britain’s most beloved bear’s love for marmalade.
- Digital Expression: The post-breakup phase where you’re done grieving and turn to social media to share how you’re healing so you can confidently reenter the dating scene.
- Fine-wining: Proactively finding people older than you who have aged as well as a fine wine.
First, I would try to flirt with someone on public transportation. Everyone is glued to their phones these days, so it can be difficult to make eye contact with someone you like.
Eye contact is important when flirting because it immediately expresses interest and creates a sense of connection with the other person, which can be more powerful than words alone.
But I quickly learned that the biggest obstacle to meeting someone IRL is finding someone you actually like! Like where are all the hot single men?
After a few uneventful train rides, I finally saw a man with limp thick hair and fortune favors the brave, so I plopped down across from him, despite the half-empty train. Provide an awkward smile and a chat about the weather, so British.
Things were going well – or so I thought – until another man got on board, walked straight up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. And just like that, my gaydar failed me spectacularly.
A few days later I started talking to a tall, dark and handsome man at my gym.
He seemed perfect even though he was younger than me, which gave me pause as a single mother hoping to meet someone who understood my obligations.
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Still, I tried and after a few great dates he invited me to his house.
When I stepped inside, I was hit by a sharp stench. “Do you have cats?” I asked.
“No, my toilet is broken,” he replied casually. “But don’t worry, you can pee anywhere in my apartment… including on me.”
Um, water sports aren’t really my thing, so I apologized and left.
No, my toilet is broken, but don’t worry, you can pee anywhere in my apartment… including me.
One of Georgie’s dates
Feeling completely disillusioned with IRL dating and apps, I thought I was destined for a life of single doom.
But little did I know, my luck was about to change.
I was enjoying a rare night out in Mahikis, West London, dancing with my friends when my eyes crossed paths with a handsome Italian stallion.
After a few cocktails, one thing led to another and we ended up back at his house. Not only did it have a working toilet, but also a heated seat: luxury!
The next morning I couldn’t remember his name, but after breakfast I learned that he was also a single father. He put the Italian charm on full blast and had serious DILF energy.
Fast forward a few months and we are still going strong. The best part? It’s all offline.
IRL is la dolce vita.
