I exposed myself completely at a nudist festival – there were dicks everywhere and I was left crying

HORNY swingers or pure fun? Donna Smiley, 43, senior writer at Fabulous, lets loose at a nudist festival to find out why naturism is so popular in the UK.

I throw my arms in the air on the crowded dance floor and sing along at the top of my lungs to the 70s classic by YMCA.

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I’m not in a nightclub or at a house party, but in a nude disco and, apart from a thong to protect my modesty, I’m completely naked.

All around me, breasts and cocks of all shapes and sizes bounce to the rhythm of the music.

It sounds like one of those nightmares where you watch yourself at an important event and realize to your horror that you’re naked.

But I’m at the EveryBody Festival, an initiative of British Naturism, which celebrates all nudity.

The festival has been running for two years and takes place each year in a beautiful, secluded woodland area in Dorset, as part of British Naturism’s active programme of nudist events in the UK.

Over four nights there are daily activities including yoga, gong baths and rounders, plus a disco and acoustic music tent every evening for as many as 500 of the UK’s 6.75 million (and growing) naturists.

When I shared my plans with friends, most of their reactions were along the lines of: “Are you crazy?”

One friend told me to keep my pants on so strangers couldn’t see my genitals. Another asked if I was afraid people would have sex in front of me.

I actually felt quite relaxed about what I had signed up for: I sunbathe topless on holiday and love to swim naked every now and then.

But as the train pulls into the station and I grab my bag containing three pairs of pants, a towel and some toiletries, the tension starts to rise.

Do I have to take off my dress immediately upon arrival?

Is it okay to wear panties if I’m not quite ready for a full workout?

After dropping off my bag at my glamping tent, I walk to the fire pit, dressed in the dress I arrived in. There I find a group of naked people of all ages chatting with each other.

A twenty-something says they went to the event last year and enjoyed it so much they decided to come again.

The woman tells me that she goes to naturist events because she feels more comfortable in her own body and is less judged than when she wears clothes.

Everywhere I look there’s a dick

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I quickly understand what she means.

No one looks at others from head to toe, and no one judges their bodies. They all seem too caught up in the euphoria of being naked.

This will be followed by a welcome quiz in the bar inside.

By now, about half of the 200 attendees are completely naked. And since there are about 10 times more men than women, everywhere I look I see a penis.

I walk to the bar, order and quickly drink two double gin and tonics to gather courage.

Over the next hour, more and more people begin to take off their clothes.

When a woman on my quiz team, Rachel*, 43, a civil servant, takes off her top, I tell myself to just go ahead and take off my dress but keep my panties on.

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A handful of others, all women, also kept their shorts or pants on.

I expect people to stare at me, but no one notices. It’s very liberating.

After the quiz we all hit the dance floor.

I’m amazed at how natural it feels to be surrounded by jiggling bits and bare bottoms and to feel swept up in the joy of the moment.

‘I feel safe even though there are naked men everywhere’

The next day I walk around the festival – still in just my pants – watching people playing naked dodgeball, sunbathing and doing yoga.

As I ponder how healthy it all is – and how unfair it is that naturism is criticised for its dirty, sexual undertones – I am approached by two forty-something men I met at the disco.

“I knew you were a swinger,” one of the women says, to my horror.

It turns out that my towel, which I always carry with me to lie on while sunbathing, has upside-down pineapples on it. Unbeknownst to me, these are signs used in the swinging community to indicate that you are ‘in the mood’.

Who would have thought?

The couples are very understanding when I tell them I’m not here to swing. They say they’re surprised the atmosphere isn’t more sexually charged. They’re virgins at nudist festivals, just like me.

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There are strict rules to ensure people’s safety.

No photos are allowed and there is a Safe Space tent that is open 24/7.

Apart from that one little mistake, I feel completely safe, even though I’m sleeping alone in a tent, in a dark forest, surrounded by naked men.

They are usually between 50 and 60 years old and talk much more about their children, their jobs and sharing food and drinks.

Over lunch I speak to Helen Berriman, 49, director of women’s affairs at British Naturism. Berriman made headlines after appearing completely naked on Good Morning Britain in May last year. I ask her why there are so many more men than women.

“It’s a work in progress,” she says.

“Traditionally, women have been concerned about being objectified or being too conscious about showing their bodies.”

But that is changing.

She explains that she has started organising events just for women, including naturist holidays, which are so popular that she has already sold out next year’s events.

‘I realize my bikini bottoms have come undone on the side and are gone’

Meanwhile, Nick and Lins, content creators who travel the world documenting their lives as naturists and have 80,000 followers on YouTube (follow them @n_wanderings), tell me they started posting to dispel the myth that they’re all middle-aged white men.

“I love it. It’s a simple way of living. You don’t have to think about anything except where your towel is,” says Lins.

As the weekend progresses, I’m inclined to see her perspective.

The final leg of my trip is a visit to Splashdown Water Park in Poole, a 20 minute drive from the campsite. The park is fully booked for a larger British naturism event.

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I lower myself into a float and jump into the lazy river. But when I feel a cold spray of water on my cheeks, I realize that my bikini bottoms have come undone at the side and are gone.

For the first time since my arrival, I am completely naked.

“My pants are gone!” I shout to the man next to me.

We both burst out laughing when he replied, “It’s not like you need them, right?”

A woman running past tells me she gave them to the lifeguard.

“Never mind,” I say, “it’s time to go all out!”

Don’t judge it until you try it

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Part of me can’t believe I’m doing it, another part thinks it’s brilliant.

As I board the train home, I feel sad that I have to leave the non-judgmental atmosphere behind. No one has asked me what I do for a living, if I’m married, where I live, or if I have children – and that’s a refreshing change.

Dealing with so many different bodies has grown my confidence and given me insight into why naturism is such a growing trend.

There’s something so liberating and joyful about undressing.

My advice?

Try it yourself, but don’t judge it.

For more information, visit Thisiseverybody.co.uk/everybody-festival.

*Name has been changed