I Married a Man with a Big Age Gap – Here’s Why You Should Never Marry an Older Man

Janet, 51, regrets her relationship with her older husband John, 76, and tells Kirsten Jones why she’s looking for a new toyboy.

I’m in heaven when I see my newest eye-catching outfit showing off its six-pack.

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Tall, dark and handsome, this dreamboat is all mine for tonight.

I get lost in mimicking his perfect body, until a spluttering cough brings me back to reality.

There is no handsome guy of 40 years old standing in front of me.

It’s my 76-year-old husband John, rotting in his filthy armchair, picking the crumbs of a digestive tract from his wobbly dentures.

My daydream has been ripped off me like a band-aid.

It’s no wonder I’m desperate for my second sordid affair.

John stares into the distance, his mouth open as if catching flies as the wheels in his brain turn.

It’s the beginning of a new day where I’m trapped in my age gap marriage.

This old man was once the love of my life.

Now he feeds on my energy and sucks my soul dry.

I am 51 years old and in the prime of my life.

My hair is shiny, I am in top shape and even young boys look at me with open mouths.

That’s why I’ve finally had enough of my sexless marriage.

When it comes down to it, I’m superficial.

If my husband would pay attention to me and give me the love I crave, it wouldn’t make a difference.

The attraction is gone for good, and with it his youthful beauty.

By the way, it’s not like he ever tries to touch me.

We haven’t had sex in eight years and, frankly, I have no desire to have sex with a man who, quite frankly, turns me off.

Moreover, due to menopause I was as dry as a plum and had no desire for sex at all.

I didn’t mourn the death of our sex life, but I did mourn what might have been if I had perhaps married a younger man.

We grew further and further apart and now I share a house with a man I hardly look at.

Amazing sex

We can’t talk for days and as for being in love, I’m afraid the spark is long gone… at least not for him.

Nine months ago I started hormone replacement therapy to address my brain fog, hot flashes, and terrible mood swings.

What I didn’t realize was that my sexual desire would come rushing back like a steam train.

All I wanted was to meet an attractive man who knew how to please me.

Even the increase in my libido wouldn’t get me back into my husband’s bed.

Anyway, I probably would have given him a heart attack if he could have done that.

I had to do something about my insatiable desire and so I started an affair.

In March I met a tall, dark and handsome man on Illicit Encounters, a dating website. For four months I had mind-blowing sex with him once a week during the day in a hotel room.

His muscular 46-year-old body was a real attraction, compared to the withered old man I had at home.

Because I lived so close to my secret fling, we were able to have sex quickly without arousing suspicion.

Unfortunately my affair is over. He was married too, so it wouldn’t last long. But I’m on the hunt for another prince among the frogs.

It wasn’t always like this. I met my husband when I was 30 and he was 55.

He was in his prime then. Well built, slicked back hair, sparkling eyes. I felt like I was dating a movie star.

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I used to see us as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

He took me on summer vacations to Madeira, Italy and the South of France, where we drank cocktails on the beach.

At home he surprised me with dinners at fancy restaurants in London and made me feel special by doing crazy things like stroking my back while I did the dishes.

He was so much more mature than the childish boys I had dated before – and I was madly in love with him.

I thought we would grow old together. We got married, had our wonderful son, but that’s where the magic died.

Catherine and Michael have stood the test of time, but our love has crumbled like my husband’s teeth.

Looking back, I don’t think we ever had anything in common.

It was all those fancy experiences with his money that kept us together. I was young, naive, foolish.

We got married in 2014 and after two years the sex had completely dried up and he suddenly turned into an older stranger who I didn’t recognize.

I have to leave the room when he eats because since his teeth have crumbled he sounds like a cow chewing grass

I have to leave the room when he eats because since his teeth have crumbled he sounds like a cow chewing grass

Jantje

I despair when he pulls the same soup-stained polo shirt out of the laundry basket to wear it for the tenth day in a row.

Is it really that much to ask to be able to watch bad TV in my own living room without being interrupted by his disapproving jeers while he sucks on his toffee?

He recently went up north to visit his family and I couldn’t wait to get rid of him.

Four whole days without waves blaring from the TV speakers at maximum volume, no dirty hearing aids in used tissues in the living room.

Of course I took care of him for a while before he left.

He’s old enough now that I have to remind him to take his meds and pack enough faded Y-fronts for a weekend trip.

I should be able to relax when he’s gone, but he winds me up so much that I shoot through the ceiling like a coiled spring.

When I hugged him goodbye, I felt nothing, only the bumps of his ribs through his worn sweater.

What has happened to my well-groomed lord? And who is this grumpy old man who has taken his place?

I can’t change him. His stubbornness is unmatched and despite being deaf as a post, he won’t admit it.

So I spend my days shouting out the menu at the top of my lungs when he asks for the umpteenth time, “What’s for dinner?”

Prostate checks

He never asks how I am or if I had a good day.

But he can talk at length about how terrible the weather is, even if he doesn’t leave the house for weeks.

He hates the 80s pop music I play in the kitchen and calls it ‘noise’.

He only watches black and white movies and has no idea what Traitors is.

And then there’s his health.

From the countless hospital letters about blood pressure and prostate checks to his rattling pockets full of heart tablets and of course his cherished bus pass, it’s a vivid reminder of my husband’s ageing body.

I’m tired of having to do everything for him. It makes me feel bad to have to mother an older man and worry about him.

If you think an older man with money can take care of you, think again.

The tables are turned and suddenly you are a full time nurse. You are probably wondering why I am still with this old man.

Like so many other women, I am trapped in a marriage because I feel guilty about upsetting my child if we break up.

Sure, my teenage son would probably get over it. But what if he didn’t?

And I enjoy the time we spend together as a family.

Isn’t it better for my husband to be with a younger woman who is happy but has a secret, than with someone who is unhappy?

I will have to use hormone replacement therapy for the next five years until I go through menopause.

I don’t know if I will lose my sexual desires if I stop. By then I will be almost 60.

Nobody wants to have sex with a wrinkled old lady, so I try to make the best of it while I can.

Marriage is happier when you have an affair. Those little outlets for passion and flirting, sex and dating

Jantje

You are happier in marriage if you have an affair.

Those little outlets for passion and flirting, sex and dating.

Every connection with another person makes you feel better about yourself and makes it easier to live with him or her.

I think there are some advantages to living with my elderly husband.

I have a very nice roof over my head. I have financial security, I have my wonderful son. But that’s where it ends.

How can I leave a weak old man alone? What would people think of me? I feel trapped, with no way out.

Ladies, don’t be fooled by these celebrity couples with a big age gap.

You don’t marry a Hollywood star who defies the limitations of aging.

We mortals don’t have millions of pounds to smooth over the cracks.

They sell the dream, but the reality is a nightmare.

If you marry that old man and claim you are happy, you are only deceiving yourself.

Think about your future. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did.