I married a murderer inmate – we have four-day conjugal visits to try to have a baby
AN ex-prison worker who married an inmate is now enjoying four days of conjugal visits as he tries to have a baby with the killer.
Larissa King, 35, has shared some of the difficulties they face in starting a family while serving time.
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Larissa met her husband Ryan King, 42, when she took a job in a prison kitchen during Covid, but says they didn’t speak much at the time.
The Vancouver resident was discharged in April 2021 and began her certification to become a probation officer.
Once she had done this, the mother of one decided to contact an inmate to discuss measures that would help inmates readjust to society upon release.
Larissa said she thought about her current husband because she knew he had not committed crimes against women or children, and the two exchanged a few letters.
Read more about prison brides
Although she stopped pursuing a career as a probation officer, the pair soon began talking on the phone weekly and Ryan popped the question during their second in-person visit.
The couple married in prison in March 2023, just over two years after they met.
Ryan is currently serving a 15-year-to-life sentence for second-degree murder.
“Clearly a lot went into his judgment. The main thing was that he didn’t come forward with his crime. They considered it a vigilante murder,” Larissa said.
“So that played a big role in his conviction. Personally, I think he should have been given manslaughter and even the most recent parole attorneys I’ve talked to agree with that.”
After dating by phone for about a year, she went to see Ryan in prison for the first time since they worked together in the kitchen.
“For a long time I was afraid of actually seeing it in person,” says Larissa, who now works as an archaeologist.
“We wrote a few times and then I gave him my phone number because I thought it would be easier that way, and then we started talking on the phone maybe once a week.
“It was very limited and then it became twice a week, three times a week, every day, several times a day.
“When we actually started talking on the phone, it was late 2021, around November, and by February I knew I loved this man.
British prison brides
- Tracey Bottomley married double murderer Ernest Otto Smith in the US after meeting through a pen pal initiative in prison. Tracey, from West York, knew he had been given a life sentence with no chance of parole
- Rebecca Shortfrom Oxfordshire, told her family she was on holiday in the US in 2022. They didn’t know she was getting married to double murderer Manuel Ovate Jr, who was on death row
- Paula Williamson an actress who appeared in Hollyoaks and Emmerdale, married the infamous Charles Bronson in 2017 after they became pen pals
- Karen Charves married Kenny Richey in 2014 while on death row. He was convicted of setting a fire in 1986 that killed his ex-girlfriend’s two-year-old daughter. Karen and Kenny’s union did not last long and she claimed he was abusive.
- Naomi Wisefrom Essex, married Victor Oquendo, nicknamed Animal, while serving a 24-year sentence in a US prison. They split in 2022 but have now rekindled their romance
“I even talked to a therapist, a professional, to see and understand my feelings. Why is this happening? Is this real?”
“I was very confused and my therapist said it seemed like an unconventional encounter, but it seems like your feelings are justified.
“I felt like I really had to see him in person, it’s driving me crazy. I remember being so nervous. It was a long time ago.
“I saw him walking up through the windows, you could see them coming up from their lower compound and I was just sweating from the bullets.
“He proposed during my second in-person visit. I thought I was going to puke.
“We were talking [while] at this table, near a window. A nice picturesque backdrop of a fence with barbed wire and there was a playground.
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“He asked me to stand up so he could see my outfit. He made me do a twirl.
“When I came back he was on his knee with a fake one, there was obviously nothing in his hand because he couldn’t take anything into the visitors center.
“I was like, ‘Oh my God, what’s happening?’ and then he had this whole story.
“I could tell he was so nervous too, he got all excited and said his speech and you could see everyone was looking at him.
“I could tell too, because I was standing opposite the guard’s bell and they were all looking at him because it looked good, that maybe he had something in his hand.
“I said yes and so you can have short hugs in the visitors center [we had] a hug and a kiss.”
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Ryan’s mother transferred Larissa money from his account to buy a ring, and she bought her wedding dress and shoes from Amazon.
Ryan paid another inmate, who was a tailor, in fizzy drinks and a packet of crisps to measure his shirt and trousers.
The couple married in prison on March 3, 2023 and were unable to spend their wedding night together due to a lengthy paperwork process.
They had their first wedding visit on July 4 and now every six weeks. They can last up to four days.
Larissa said the visits take place in private cabins, complete with a living room and kitchen, on the prison grounds, away from general population units.
“I was so nervous about that too. I think it was even worse with the waiting because you know it’s coming and we had never been intimate at all,” she explained.
We had never been alone together. It was worth the wait.
Larissa King
“The most we’d had was light kisses in the visitor center.
“We had never been alone together. It was worth the wait. It was also difficult to wait so long.
“It was nice to have that important time together.”
The couple only started trying to get pregnant during their second marital visit, and Larissa says it’s difficult to align the visits they have every six weeks with her ovulation phase.
She then discovered that she had low anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH), which means her ovaries are producing fewer eggs than normal.
“It’s frustrating. So we tried to schedule our weddings to coincide with my fertile window and this was before I got my diagnosis and I would always ovulate early,” Larissa said.
Most life savers don’t get parole the first time, maybe not even the second time.
Larissa King
“I thought about my age at the time, 34, [but] infertility wasn’t even on my mind at the time, but I knew I always wanted more children.
“I have engaged my fertility clinic to try intrauterine inseminations with me, but we have to take my husband to the fertility clinic to provide his specimen, which is proving to be very difficult.
“It is considered a non-emergency medical procedure [so] it will just come out of pocket for the prisoners, they would basically have to pay for the transportation of the vans, the guard’s salary for the time per kilometer.
“It’s a very slow, exhausting process.”
Although Ryan has now served his minimum sentence and is eligible for parole, there is a possibility that this will be denied and he will not be able to attend to raise the baby.
“It would suck if he wasn’t there to raise our child together and it’s very likely because he has a life sentence that most lifers don’t get parole the first time, maybe not even the second time,” she said.
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‘I really had to sit down and [think] could I do this on my own, if we are successful with the fertilization?
‘My finances are in order. I could afford to be on maternity leave and have a house on one income.
“I raised my daughter alone, so I’ve done it once before and I’ve always said I don’t want to do that again.
“I even said that to my husband while we were talking and then you know everything goes out the window and I think this is my person, I would like to expand my family now.
“It is a real possibility that it will take a few tries before he is released on parole.”
