I married a Turkish waiter from my holiday – trolls call me a ‘stupid visa wife’

WHEN Beth Çiftçi, now 25, from Surrey, went to Turkey with her family, she never imagined she would fall in love with the waiter at her hotel.

She tells how a holiday romance became the real thing.

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As I lay in the hot Turkish sun, I felt my whole body relax.

I was 19 and had just ended my relationship with my boyfriend of three years. A little relaxation during the holidays was just what I needed.

Romance was the last thing on my mind when I arrived in the Turkish seaside resort of Icmeler in July 2018.

I was just relieved to be with my mother Paula, now 60, my father Colin, 63, and my sister Grace, 27.

We had chosen a small, family-run hotel and on our first morning a waiter came by to take our breakfast order.

I immediately saw his beautiful green eyes and dark hair, but I was so shy.

I never thought he would notice me.

Confident and talkative, Grace is my complete opposite.

She got to know everyone, including Özgür, the handsome waiter.

She must have told him my name, because one morning he came over to our breakfast to chat.

His English wasn’t perfect, but he was nice and funny.

We started chatting every evening in the bar and a week into the holiday Özgür asked if I wanted to go for a walk in the evening.

I immediately felt nervous, but I told myself I had to give it a try anyway.

As we walked along the beach he told me about his life. He was 24 and had grown up on a farm in a small village.

Suddenly we were holding hands and kissing. It was magical.

I had never had a holiday romance before.

But when Özgür said that I would probably go home and forget about him completely, I was sure that wouldn’t happen.

From the moment we drove to the airport, we started texting and we never stopped.

At home in Surrey our video calls would last for hours and I missed him terribly.

I felt like I was falling in love, but the only way to know for sure was to see each other again, so I booked a trip to Turkey in November.

My family supported me, but I was scared.

Would it still feel the same after 10 weeks?

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When I saw him waiting for me at the airport with flowers, I knew this was real.

We lived together in an apartment and I was nervous about meeting his parents.

Özgür told me that when you greet a middle-aged person in Turkey, you take his or her hand, kiss it and then touch your forehead with it.

I was so afraid that I would do it wrong.

But they were incredibly nice people and they prepared a feast for us.

They didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Turkish, so Özgür had to translate, but somehow it wasn’t awkward.

‘Back in the UK I tried to bring Turkish influences into our lives so he wouldn’t get homesick’

This time saying goodbye was a lot harder, but I visited again in February and May 2019 and in the meantime I started learning Turkish through Duolingo.

In July 2019, a year after we met, my family and I returned to the same hotel in Içmeler.

There Özgür proposed to me, and our loved ones were very happy, although I suspected that some people thought I was too young.

At my work in communications, some people were surprised that I was already engaged at the age of 20.

When our relationship started, I had reservations about the fact that I had only had one serious relationship and had never lived with Özgür.

So after our engagement, I stayed with him for three months. I said to my best friend, “I’m going to use this time to see if we’re really compatible.”

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Luckily it was!

Unfortunately, we found ourselves in different countries when the pandemic broke out in March 2020 and traveling to Turkey became almost impossible.

Being apart for eleven months was horrible, but I wasn’t afraid that Özgür would meet someone else.

In December 2021, because we were unsure whether there would be another lockdown, we took our chance and got married in Turkey.

Due to Covid it was small scale with only 15 guests and family watching live from the UK, but I was just really happy.

In May of the following year, Özgür was finally able to come to the UK as we were legally married.

We decided to settle here because he was used to working far away from his family, while I was a real homebody.

We lived with my parents – and still do – which can be difficult, but we all get along well.

I was afraid that Özgür would get homesick, so I tried to bring Turkish influences into our lives. I found a local Turkish supermarket and we cooked together, listened to Turkish music and watched his favorite TV shows.

It was a huge change for him, but he is such a calm and determined person.

Apart from missing his family, everything went well and he soon got a job in a restaurant.

Last October we flew back to Turkey for the big wedding party we had always dreamed of, with 1,000 guests.

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In my huge traditional Turkish dress I danced around my husband, shook a clay pot, and then threw it on the floor so the children could enjoy the sweets inside. It was amazing.

Although my friends and family love Özgür and know that our love is genuine, not everyone is as positive.

Some people in Turkey see us walking hand in hand and I feel their judgment.

In the UK that doesn’t happen. I think that’s because there’s more diversity.

Unfortunately, social media is a different story. I posted a video of us that has 2.5 million views.

There were horrible reactions, calling me a ‘passport woman’ and a ‘visa woman’ and saying that they couldn’t believe how stupid I was to believe that Özgür loved me.

It felt so unfair.

What does Özgür say?

Özgür, 30, a waiter, said he “quickly fell in love with Beth”.

“I had had a few romantic relationships with guys before, but this was different.

“When I moved to the UK, there were some big culture shocks. For example, people preferred to stay home during the week and go to the pub at the weekend, rather than sitting in cafes drinking tea until midnight like we do. We also saw Turkish families sitting around the table and eating together, whereas here everyone is running around.

“There are so many more laws in the UK and it rains so much, but I still love it.

“At first it wasn’t nice to get negative comments about my relationship with Beth, but it didn’t surprise me – there are bad people out there who scam women.

“It’s just sad that everyone is tarred with the same brush.

“When it comes to marrying someone to get a British passport, people don’t realise how hard it is to leave your family, friends and everything you’ve ever known behind.

“I love my country – but my love for Beth is stronger.”

At first I would say, ‘It’s funny how you know more about someone on social media from one video than they know each other!’

But Özgür told me to focus on the nice reactions, of which there were many. Now we shake off all the negativity.

We are so happy and grateful that my family chose that hotel for our vacation.

It changed my life.

• Follow @Theciftcis on TikTok.