I named my baby after my father’s mistress – my family wants me to change it

A 26-year-old mother has refused to change her daughter’s name despite outrage from her family.

She and her husband decided to name their daughter “Annabelle,” as a tribute to his grandmother who helped raise him.

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The woman said she was unaware of the drama that keeping the name secret until delivery would cause.

“My mom and dad were in the room when I gave birth and when it was time to sign the birth certificate, my mom asked for the name and I told her Annabelle,” she said. Reddit.

‘Her face went pale and my dad didn’t look too happy, but he said he loved the name.

“My mother left a few minutes later claiming she wasn’t feeling well. She said she would come over in a few days to help with the baby.

The woman said her mother suddenly became distant, despite normally talking every day.

She invited her sister Emily to her home to discuss her concerns about their mother’s sudden change in behavior.

Emily, who still lives with their parents, revealed she overheard them arguing that her father had an affair with a colleague called Annabelle ten years ago.

While they were still talking, their father arrived at the house and confessed the affair to himself.

He insisted that Annabelle’s name be changed because it put their mother in a “bad head space.”

“My father begged and pleaded for me to change it, saying my mother was packing her bags and heading to her sister’s house,” she said.

“I told him I won’t change her name and that it means so much to me and my husband.

“He started raising his voice and immediately my sister shouted back and told him to go away.”

The new mother said her father left immediately after being warned not to burden her.

“I’m not changing my baby’s name, but I feel like this is tearing the family apart. What should I do?” she said.

A flood of commenters assured her that she was not being unreasonable in refusing to change her daughter’s name.

However, they warned that this could affect the relationship her mother has with her daughter in the future.

“I understand. You are NTA [not the a**hole],” someone wrote.

“But it will have consequences. Your mother may not be willing to bond — and that’s not a fault! Your father hurt her very badly.

‘Look, the only hole here is your father. But some wounds take time to heal. Can’t agree on a nickname like Anna or Belle?

Another commenter suggested that the mother should swap her daughter’s first and middle names.

“Your father is the AH [a**hole]” they said. “But the question you have to ask yourself is whether you want your mother to feel pain every time she hears her granddaughter’s name.

“If the answer is no, I would consider making it her middle name, but that’s entirely up to you! It’s just a bad situation all around.”

A third person described the situation as “difficult” and advised the woman to speak to her mother before making a final decision.

“You have every right to use that name, especially when it comes to family ties. But. You might regret it, they said.

“If your mom and dad aren’t as involved in your child’s life as you wanted, you may look back and wish you had made a different choice.

“But who knows? Maybe your mom will move past her feelings and this won’t even be an ongoing problem and she’ll start being an involved grandma.

The commenter added that any problems in her mother and father’s relationship are not her fault.

“Talk to your mother,” they said. “You don’t have to go into the conversation with the intention of changing the baby’s name, but it would be helpful to hear what she has to say.”

“As for your father, this is 100% his responsibility. If your mother leaves him, it’s because he had an affair, not because of a baby name.

“He needs to take responsibility for his choices and work on repairing his relationships.”

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