‘I settled for a five, but I became a 10… I’ve lost count of my lovers’: Twelve cheating wives reveal why they cheated on their husbands: JANA’S SEALED SECTION

Cheating is having a moment right now. Not a great moment, but a moment nonetheless. Yes, I said it. And before you start clutching your pearls, let’s just admit it: everyone is susceptible to it. Go on, try to prove me wrong. Chances are if you’re reading this, you’ve cheated or been cheated on. Maybe both. Life is messy like that.

The older I get and the juicier the confessions I hear, the more convinced I become that monogamy could be one of life’s toughest tasks. Seriously, it’s a wonder anyone sticks to it!

I mean, if George Clooney gave you the old wink and nod, you’d be hard-pressed to say, “No, thank you, my lazy husband, who rarely remembers to take out the trash cans, is waiting for me at home.”

And if, like me, you’ve binged on Rivals (no, not just for the sex scenes) or the Martha Stewart Netflix documentary, you know this: when it comes to cheating, it doesn’t matter what your age, gender, or tax bracket is. It is the great equalizer.

And besides, it’s not just miserable couples doing the dirty work. No, happy people cheat too! How do I know? Oh, just from my own little encounter with a married man who, oddly enough, was blissfully in love with his wife. Go figure. (For the record, Your Honor, I didn’t know the dirtbag was married.)

But here’s a fun fact for you: women are much better at cheating than men. Sorry guys, but it’s true. While guys tend to get sloppy — forgetting to hide text messages, talk to their friends, or parade around with their mistresses like it’s no big deal — women are sneaky little ninjas. It’s not a boast; it’s just a fact.

The result? Women are rarely caught. And believe me, it’s not because they do less with it.

But let’s zoom out for a moment. What even counts as cheating? A connection? A cheeky caress at the office Christmas party? A daring DM after one too many wines? It’s a broad spectrum, but the common thread is simple: it would break your partner’s heart if he found out. But it’s clear that this doesn’t stop anyone.

So I decided to dive into the murky waters of infidelity and talk to women who have had steamy affairs. How did they do it? Let’s just say their answers shocked me…

The statistics don’t lie: 60 percent of men and 45 percent of women admit to having an affair during their marriage, according to Sexual Health Australia. Ashley Madison – also known as the cheaters’ clubhouse – ranks Australia as the sixth most unfaithful country in the world. Sixth! Honestly, it would be impressive if it weren’t so depressing.

So I decided to dive into the murky waters of infidelity and talk to women who have had steamy affairs. How did they do it? Let’s just say their answers shocked me…

I got a glow

For some women, cheating wasn’t about their partner, but about a new sense of self-confidence.

One woman explains, “The marriage started to break down when I started working out at the gym after having children. I discovered a confidence I didn’t know I had. Then there was the outside attention at work… I had endless affairs over a span of two years. It was exhausting: deleting messages, using secret apps, keeping my phone within reach at all times, constantly changing my passwords. But I got away with it and carried on until I found the strength to leave my husband.”

Another tells me: ‘I got a nose job and it was a game changer. I had settled for a guy who was a standard five out of ten, but when I became a 10, I wanted a 10 for myself. So I went out and found some. You can’t go back to a five once you get a ten. It was worth the $10,000 surgery bill.”

Revenge

For many women, cheating was an act of retaliation – a way to regain power after their partners betrayed their trust.

One woman revealed that after a nose job she was given a ’10 out of 10′, meaning she wanted a 10 instead of her ‘standard five’ man. She went outside and found one (stock image)

One woman confesses, “My husband cheated on me, so I wanted to see what I was missing.” She describes how, during a drunken argument, he admitted to cheating several times during his “clubbing phase.” Then, incredibly, he demanded that she “appreciate him more” so he wouldn’t do it again.

Shaken by this confession, the woman went camping with friends to clear her head. Then things took an unexpected turn.

‘In the middle of the night one of the boys climbed into my sleeping bag and said he was cold and needed body heat to beat the cold. I knew exactly what was happening, but I didn’t protest.

‘He got handfuls and kissed me. I went along with it for a while – partly because I was angry at my ex and partly out of curiosity about what it felt like to cheat. But then I panicked, stopped and said, “I’m done.” I immediately moved tents.”

The aftermath was painful: ‘I felt so sick and torn for days. I finally confessed to my boyfriend, who broke up with me because, in his words, ‘he couldn’t handle the betrayal.’ Despite everything, she adds, “it was the best bad decision I ever made.”

Another woman found clarity through her own revenge: ‘I wanted to know if I was as bad in bed as my husband made me feel. No! I got the validation I needed. It turns out I’m dynamite.’

Addicted to the rush

Some women confess that the thrill of the affair keeps them hooked.

One tells me that starting a new relationship wasn’t enough to call things off with her married boss.

‘It started with cheeky jokes at work, a few comments back and forth. Then we started talking every day outside of work. At first it was friendship because I knew he was married, so I ignored the feelings I had for him… until I started seeing someone else.”

Then things changed: ‘He lost it and told me all the feelings he had for me. What makes me stay is knowing how well we get along. We are literally two peas in a pod. Don’t get me wrong, I question my departure every week. But I honestly can’t walk away. All the promises he’s made, plus the rush to be so naughty, it’s addictive. Like a dose of endorphins.’

Some women confess that the thrill of the affair keeps them hooked. One tells me starting a new relationship wasn’t enough to call things off with her married boss (stock image)

Ignored and taken for granted

About seven out of ten women I spoke to had a common reason for their affairs: they felt neglected by their partners and longed to be seen, wanted and appreciated.

One woman explains, “I worked full-time and then came home for mothering duties and housework. He just took me for granted and neglected my feminine needs.”

Another said: ‘He didn’t appreciate all the housework and childcare tasks I did. I was nothing but a caregiver to him.”

Others found external validation irresistible: “He barely acknowledged me, didn’t want to do anything in the house or with our children. He was a lazy bastard, and I got attention from men outside our marriage. It was an easy decision.”

One story stands out for its emotional depth: ‘I cheated because my partner made me feel like a sex toy. He didn’t pay any attention to me – mentally, emotionally or physically. I loved him very much for the first five years of our relationship, but eventually I felt like he was keeping me around to pass the time.

‘However, my male best friend showered me with all the attention I needed and made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world. It brought my spark back and was all the therapy I needed. I left my husband and have since remarried my best friend. Sometimes you just need that push to find someone better.’

Social media and reconnecting with first loves

Social media became the catalyst for several things.

“It started when a guy in high school added me on Snapchat,” one woman said. ‘It started innocently, lots of reminiscing, and eventually sneaky photos. It turns out I was driving to Sydney for “a course” and booked a hotel for the two of us. My husband and I don’t use each other’s phones, so I turned off notifications on most of my apps.”

Another used infidelity to confront the past: “I cheated on my fiancé because my feet got cold. My ex from college reappeared in my Instagram DMs. This man had broken my heart, and I needed one more night with him to make sure I started my marriage with no regrets.

“We arranged a cheap meeting at an Airbnb, and it was horrible. I forgot he had a huge ego and a chip on his shoulder. I cried mid-sex and gave it back to my kind and affectionate fiancé. Now I know I’m 100 percent making the right decision. I don’t regret it. In fact, it has made me appreciate my current partner more.’

They married too young

Many women admit that their infidelity stemmed from getting married before they really knew themselves.

“I cheated on my ex because we got into a serious relationship when I was way too young to fully understand myself,” one woman explains. ‘I had a deep need to explore my identity, both sexually and in terms of what I wanted in life. Staying in the relationship felt suffocating.

‘He wanted a quiet life with marriage and children, while I wanted to focus on my career, travel and keep my options open. It felt like a leftover from a more naive phase of life. That was over five years ago. It took him a few years to forgive me, but now we are really good friends. He is one of the few men in my life who has consistently wanted the best for me.”

Some final thoughts…

What I learned from these women is that cheating isn’t always about destroying homes; it’s often about rediscovering oneself, one ill-advised affair at a time.

Does that make it okay? No. But it does make you realize that infidelity lives in a thousand shades of gray. Oh yes. Now is a good time to be a smug singleton.