I slept with my brother-in-law on holiday – I feel guilty, but I have my reasons
A WOMAN has admitted she is struggling with guilt after cheating on her husband with her brother-in-law.
It all started when she went to Mykonos with a small group to celebrate her brother-in-law’s 40th birthday.
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Although the holiday started off great, things took a strange turn one evening when she found herself alone with her sister’s husband.
“I have been married to my husband for twelve years. 10 of them without sex. What the relationship lacked in sex, it made up for in affection and intimacy,” she explained on Reddit.
Despite having a lot of love for her husband, she admitted that she often woke up in the middle of the night in a “panic,” thinking she might never have sex again.
But in addition, the anonymously wife explained that her marriage is generally happy.
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“We have money and we have a great career, I’m 39 and the thought of living without my husband for a chance at sex is unbearable to me.
She noted that the reason they haven’t been sexual in so long is because her husband struggles with erectile dysfunction and is “unwilling” to try anything else.
“My husband is 50. He is not going to have sex with me now. He said he loves me and no one will love me like him. He said if I left, I might have sex, but he would never love me keep it,” she added.
So when the drinks started flowing, this confession came out, leaving her brother-in-law shocked.
“My desire just took over me and when he touched me, I let him,” she explained.
The pair ended up sleeping together twice while on holiday with their partners, but after leaving the sun-soaked holiday, guilt overtook the woman.
“I hate myself for what I did, but I don’t know what to do now,” she wrote.
I love my husband. How can I tell him why I did this? Especially because he knows I long for this.
‘The one thing he can’t give me. And my sister-in-law and her children? I can’t ruin their lives.’
She then asked other Reddit users for advice and said that she is currently trying to figure out whether to just live with the guilt or divorce her husband, but not admit to cheating, or at least not admit to whom she cheats.
One said: “You both have a bit of blame here. The cheating is 100% your fault. YOU made that choice and now it’s up to YOU to deal with the consequences.
“That said, you both made decisions and acted in ways that got you to this point.
“Just based on what you guys have posted, it doesn’t even seem like you guys have tried to come up with a solution to the sex problem and you’ve taken it upon yourselves to fix it.”
A second had similar thoughts, they said: “It sounds like you stayed and kept drinking hoping something would happen, the alcohol was just an excuse.
“The fact that you did it again is telling, the details are damning to say the least.”
But someone else had a different idea and told the woman, “Live with your guilt.”
“Never tell anyone,” they continued, “it would be selfish of you to try to alleviate your own guilt by ruining everyone’s lives, which you will certainly do.
“And for what it’s worth, your husband sounds like a controlling asshole. He doesn’t want to have sex with you but verbally abuses you because he’s leaving and no one else will love you? That’s bullshit.”
“You may want to consider a divorce unrelated to this and find someone who will give you everything you need.”
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Four warning signs that your partner is cheating
Private investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating.
They start taking their phones everywhere
In close relationships, it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones. If their phone habits change, they may be hiding something.
Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing his password, taking his phone everywhere, even around the house, or if he gets defensive when you ask to use his phone, this could be a sign that he’s not being faithful. “
“You should also look at how they put their phone down when not in use. If they look at the phone with the screen facing down, they may be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
If partners cheat, they may start avoiding you. This could be because they feel guilty or because it is easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner suddenly starts avoiding you and stops wanting to do things with you or stops talking about their day, this is another warning sign.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, remembering all your lies is impossible, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a variety of reasons, so it might not be a sure sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a red flag.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may also have more sex at home. This is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will introduce new things into your sex life that were not there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and for them it will feel good. This can cause tension and anxiety within themselves that they will have to justify.
“To release the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog that day, do the dishes, or do a book read. Book to your children before bed. A small problem like this can now feel like a big problem and if you experience this, your partner may be cheating,” Aaron warns.
