I sunbathed topless at 45 – I was soon half-naked chatting to strangers

Author Clare O’Reilly shares what it’s like to sunbathe without bikini bottoms for the first time.

After a quick look around, I take a deep breath and release the hook. the catch on my bikini bottoms.

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As it slides off my skin, I close my eyes and lie down on my towel.

No, this is not the beginning of a Mills & Boon story.

So this week I, a 45 year old mother of three, spent a sunny afternoon in Wembury, Devon.

My body is definitely not what it was twenty years ago, but for the first time I sunbathed topless — in front of a lot of regular beachgoers.

Why now, you may ask?

Now that the sun is warming parts of me that never see daylight, a better question might be: why not now?

After all, new figures suggest that it is a dying trend.

A recent survey found that 19 percent of French women under 50 sunbathe topless, compared to 29 percent in 2016 and 43 percent in 1984.

That’s a 50 percent drop in 40 years.

In the UK, the figures fell from 26 percent in 2016 to 19 percent now.

Fortunately, there are Spanish women who are resisting this trend.

The region of Catalonia, home to Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola, passed a law in 2020 protecting women’s right to sunbathe and swim topless.

Being the only woman with pubic hair on the beach in Devon, I’m beginning to wonder whether I should fly to Barcelona to blend in.

After decades of body positivity, why are women now deciding to cover up?

Research suggests that the reasons for this include increasing criticism, fear of verbal, physical or sexual violence and the leering gaze of men.

Well spotted

So far, however, I feel safe and have every right to be topless in public in the UK.

There is no law against this, but if I disturb or irritate anyone while I am doing my job, I run the risk of ‘offending public morals’.

According to the Public Prosecution Service, public nudity must take place in a manner that is not intended to cause “distress, panic or outrage.”

Last summer, a British police force went so far as to suggest that if you do it in your own garden, you neighbors know your plans — and I wonder if my neighbors are the type to close the curtains or take a peek.

As I think about this, I feel a sense of freedom. I take a deep breath and try to relax, despite my smartwatch telling me that my normally low heart rate is hovering around 100 beats per minute, just above average.

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Ultimately, they’re just boobs, but I’m not exactly confident about my body.

When I first joined a gym in the 1990s, I kept my eyes glued to the floor as my fellow gym-goers milled around after their showers.

I just tried to get dressed under my towel.

I was born in the late 1970s and raised by fairly conservative parents.

With an Irish father and a Portuguese mother, both Catholic, you could say we were not exactly a very free-spirited family.

My sweet mother is always the first to tell me if she thinks a top I’m wearing is too low, even now.

But now that I have a 13-year-old daughter with her own insecurities about her body, I’m starting to see things differently and have decided to let go of my usual prudish nature and embrace my curves and the body I’ve been covering up for decades.

A quick WhatsApp message to a few friends confirms that I am definitely in the minority

Clare

While I’m ditching the triangular fabrics that I’ve worn to beachside decency for years, there are plenty of other women who are covering up.

A quick WhatsApp message to some friends confirms that I am definitely in the minority.

Many of my friends sunbathe topless in their gardens or on holiday abroad, but very few do so during their staycation.

They will only do it if they are not overlooked.

Although there are numerous nudist beaches along the British coast, from Scotland to Cornwall, I decided to show myself at my local beach.

Because the sun is burning, I apply factor 30 to my breasts.

And I notice that I am starting to calm down after 25 minutes of doubting whether I would have the courage to go down for a dip in the sea.

It’s one thing to lie still with my eyes closed – I can pretend I’m in my backyard or, better yet, invisible – but walking around topless is quite another.

In a world where women are still accused of seeking attention – and danger – through the way we dress, I wonder if the other women on the beach think I want to be stared at (which I absolutely do not think they do).

But when I relax in the warmth of the sun, I am amazed at how liberated and positive my body is.

According to research from Goldsmiths University in London, that’s exactly the effect that taking off my sealant should have.

Their research found that being naked increases self-confidence, with a “very good correlation” between outdoor nudity and happiness.

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Other studies have also shown that nude activities lead to a more positive body image, greater self-confidence and greater life satisfaction. The effects are greatest in people who have never been nude in public before.

Although I really fall into the ‘no prior experience’ category, I am happy to see that after a few hours my tan lines have faded somewhat and my heart rate is normal.

Do you dare to take on the big city?

I also took a dip in the sea, and the few people who made eye contact with me didn’t spit at me, throw stones, shout ‘shame’ or curse at me.

In fact, they all laughed. Two women even said good morning and chatted about the weather.

Would I have the courage to walk topless in a London park?

I highly doubt it.

Would I have the courage to go topless in a London park? I seriously doubt it.

Devon feels safe because it’s a community I know, and the places I go topless are pretty quiet.

I put my bikini bottoms back on and regret having to put my older breasts away.

They breastfed three children and although I’m closer to 50 than 20, I wish I had taken them out when they were at their most vibrant.

Not so people could look at it.

But I should have been more confident in my body in my 30s and 40s, which might have rubbed off on my teenage daughter.