I want to exclude my husband from my second birth after what he said last time
A pregnant woman has sparked debate after she revealed she wants to give birth to her second child without her husband around.
In a post on Mumsnet, Jen* admitted she felt anxious and embarrassed about giving birth in front of him again, given his previous comments about her first birth.
The mother of one is due to give birth in a few weeks, but she can’t cope with her husband repeatedly reminding her that “some poop came out” during her last delivery.
“He constantly reminds me how dirty it was,” she says.
“He’s referred to it a couple of times and I don’t know if I feel comfortable with it, knowing that it could happen again and that he’s not going to let it go.”
Despite her subtle hint that she might not want him in the room this time, he still wanted to be there, just like he had during the previous birth.
“If I told him the truth and said he was embarrassed that he made that comment, he probably wouldn’t say it, but I would know that he was thinking it,” she explained.
“I don’t know if it’s just the hormones because he’s a very supportive husband, but I don’t think I’d like him to see me in that situation again, or am I just anxious?”
The post quickly garnered more than 200 comments, with many users outraged by her husband’s insensitivity.
“Why does he keep reminding you of that? So mean,” one user asked.
Another commenter encouraged her to stand her ground, saying, “Tell him you don’t want him there and tell him why.
“I’d love to see him push something the size of a grapefruit out of himself while somehow managing to keep his bowels under perfect control.”
Many agreed with him, with one saying, “What an absolute dick he is. Didn’t you tell him how annoying his comments are?”
And more support poured in for Jen, with another user writing: “It’s your body and your choice. Of course you’ll feel more comfortable and empowered if you don’t have to worry about someone judging you all the time.”
How does a woman’s figure change after giving birth?
TO SAY that the body changes during pregnancy and childbirth is an understatement.
During the nine months it takes for the body to give birth to a baby, the body undergoes a number of major physical changes.
Considering how different your body looks during pregnancy, it’s no surprise that there are lasting changes.
And in a sense, it never does, says Dr Rachel Ward, a GP at the Woodlands Medical Centre in Derby.
1. Wider rib cage and hips
“During pregnancy, our bodies produce a hormone called relaxin to accommodate the growing baby and prepare us for birth,” she explains.
Relaxin makes our joints and ligaments more flexible and mobile.
“Many women find that the shape of their pelvis and rib cage remains different after pregnancy,” says Dr. Rachel.
According to the expert, it is normal to need a different bra size due to a change in breast size.
“This is a reminder of the changes your body has gone through to make room for your baby. You don’t need to worry about it,” she added.
2. Change in skin color
During pregnancy, most women experience changes in their skin as it stretches to accommodate your belly and larger breasts.
“It is not uncommon to develop stretch marks.
“While they often fade over time to a shiny, light color, depending on your skin tone, they may not disappear completely,” says Dr. Rachel.
“Some people find stretch marks unsightly, but it is a very common change that we see in many people,” she adds.
3. A change in the shape of the breasts
During pregnancy, the breasts become larger as the breast tissue prepares to produce milk.
And shortly after birth, they begin to produce milk and swell, Dr. Ward explains.
“Whether you choose to breastfeed or not, the shape, size and look and feel of your breasts will likely be different after pregnancy than before,” she added.
“This is not a problem, but it is important that we learn what the new normal is for our breasts so that we remain aware of the implications of breast cancer and remain alert to changes that may indicate cancer.”
And someone else concluded with this advice: “Do what feels good to you, not what society tells you to do. Birth shouldn’t be a spectator sport.”
*Names have been changed
This story was originally published on Children’s spot and is republished here with permission.