I’m a flight attendant – four-person layovers and affairs are the norm for cabin crew

JOINING THE MOST AWAITABLE CLUB ON AN AMAZING HOLIDAY FLIGHT WITH A SWEETHEART IS THE ULTIMATE FANTASY OF MANY FLIES.

But it’s not just the naughty sun worshippers who are having a great time in the air.

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Sometimes the flight attendant behaves worse than the passengers, with clumsy antics in the cockpit and orgies on the ground.

A 28-year-old flight attendant tells Mel Fallowfield the sexy secrets of pilots and crew.

“I HAVE NEVER met a pilot who hasn’t cheated on his wife.

So far, as a flight attendant, I have had affairs with five pilots.

I’ve heard of people fooling around in the cockpit, but I never joined the mile-high club.

That’s only because the bunks pilots sleep in during their rest periods are tiny. It will be difficult to fit two people in one bunk for some exercise in the bedroom.

And I’m not even going to mention the toilets, because I know all too well how filthy they can be.

I shudder to think of it.

However, that doesn’t seem to deter passengers.

We constantly see couples – sometimes clearly having just met in their seats – coming out of the toilets.

I usually let them do their thing unless it annoys other passengers.

Most of the cabin crew fun happens on the ground.

During layovers we stay in hotels, usually in sexy, hot places, between scheduled flights.

Add to that booze, swimming pools, casinos and hot tubs and even we get the feeling we’re on vacation.

Even married staff members run into problems.

Their partners have no chance of finding out when they are away for work and everyone they interact with does the same.

And while the sexual antics usually take place between pilots and flight attendants, many crew members regularly interact with locals and even escorts.

In addition, there are often threesomes or even foursomes.

I know two male pilots and two female cabin crew who regularly sleep together when they have the same schedule.

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They are all noticeably relaxed about it.

When I was first told what had happened, I tried to find evidence on the flight back that they had all had sex.

But there was nothing. They know how to keep things quiet.

It’s no wonder there’s so much debauchery, considering the amount of alcohol we drink.

The drinking starts in the staff bus that drives from the airport to the hotel. The hotel is always a five or four star hotel with a swimming pool.

We steal bottles from the plane, sometimes champagne from first class with a little caviar thrown in if we’re feeling really wild.

The drinking continued into the early hours of the morning, and even for days if we had a long layover.

It depends on the route, but in South Africa we sometimes got five days paid time off, so it’s a staff favourite.

Pilots must stop drinking 24 hours before departure.

But I have seen some crew members paralyzed the night before and had to be helped to bed.

Random samples are taken, so we are playing with fire.

‘MOST SEXIAL JOB’

I have seen a tired flight attendant use emergency oxygen to ease her hangover. I can attest that it works.

I’ve been on flights where I fell asleep standing up in the back of the plane, so exhausted from all the partying.

And one where I had to throw up between serving the drinks and eating, because I had been on the bottle the night before.

On such flights we have less patience with nagging passengers.

And if you are annoying, we will take revenge. Your sandwich is a target.

I once wiped one over the rim of the toilet when a passenger was being particularly rude and complaining that he had had to wait too long for his drink and I was there to take care of him.

I do, but there are hundreds of other passengers on board. And I am certainly not the only one doing this.

Sometimes we find things like condoms, underwear and tampons in the toilets or hidden behind the seats, without knowing for sure who did it.

On the other hand, some passengers are a pleasure to be with, especially the good-looking ones.

If a passenger looks particularly attractive, I write my number on the napkin and hand him the drink.

That has already happened a few times, probably because flight attendant is voted one of the sexiest jobs in the world.

And I would say it really is one of the best.

Despite all the antics, I always felt safe and made enough memories and friends to last a lifetime.