I’m a mother but don’t want to see my kids every day – it makes me a better person
A mother has revealed that she shares custody of her children, saying she enjoys not having them with her all the time.
Lucy, mother of two, admits that she enjoys co-parenting because it gives her a break while allowing her to focus on herself and her business.
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The mother, who is originally from the UK but lives in Perth, Australia, spoke candidly about her experience and it seemed many other mothers felt the same way.
She said, “I don’t want to see my children every day, I said that.
“And I’m sure the comments section will probably disappear.”
Lucy added that people often think she is a “bad person” because of her stance, but she also gave an explanation.
Of course, the mother said she would do that if her children had to be with her all the time, no questions asked. But she didn’t want the parenting to rest solely on her shoulders.
She said that she was strict from the beginning when she and her ex decided to have children and that the costs had to be split 50/50 no matter what. Most of us would agree with that.
“I think society still puts everything on the shoulders of mothers, and I personally think that’s very unfair,” she explains, as she also works full-time.
She added that she felt like she couldn’t give everything she wanted because she was working full-time and also running her own business.
Now it is easier for her and her partner to work full-time and be present parents to their children.
Not only does this make her feel like a better mother, but she also has more time for herself.
She continued, “I think it’s okay to want space for yourself and time away from the kids.”
“I think it’s okay to want that.
“Because we need to make sure that we are okay and that our cups are full so that we can give it to our children.
“Since I became a mother, I’ve been pouring from an empty cup, so now it’s time to bloom.”
The clip she posted on her TikTok account @abundantlucy went viral with over 200,000 views and 6,000 likes.
Many mothers responded positively to the comments and agreed with her statements, but some found it “heartbreaking” to hear the mother say she doesn’t want her children to be around every day.
Someone wrote: “Why don’t people ask this of fathers? ‘Don’t you miss them, don’t you want them full time’ – why is it only mothers who feel guilty for wanting a partnership or grateful that they can function as a human being.”
Another commented: “Oh wow. This broke my heart a little for them. That’s so sad.”
“I’ve never felt so appreciated… I thought it was just me,” wrote a third.
How to navigate divorce
Leading children’s charity, the NSPCC, offers advice on what to do during a divorce.
To support children during a divorce and help them with their concerns, you can do the following:
- Remind them that both parents love them
- Be honest when talking about it, but take into account the child’s age and understanding
- Avoid blame and don’t share negative feelings that adults have about each other
- Maintain routines, such as going to school and having regular meal and bedtimes
- Let them know they can talk to you about their feelings – explain that it’s okay to be sad, confused or angry
- Listen more than you speak. Asking questions can help them open up.
Meanwhile, a fourth said: “I think I appreciate my quality time with my kids a lot more because I have it small pause. I get it!”
“She tells the truth that others are not ready to hear,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “I think the fundamental thing is this: Are the kids happy? They’re getting quality time with both parents, that’s the most important thing.”
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