I’m in my 40s, but I fell for an 18 year old in a maximum security US
COMMUNICATION is a big part of any long-distance relationship and Lucy Patterson couldn’t wait for her next phone call with her fiancé – even if she had to wait three months for it.
And when you’re madly in love and engaged to an American convict living 5,000 miles away, there’s certainly plenty to talk about.
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The HR worker, 42, has no qualms about being involved with ex-con Sean Hetzer, who went from pen pal to partner within months.
Lucy was studying forensic psychology when she decided to talk to prisoners – ‘half research, half curiosity’ and came across Sean’s profile on a prison pen pal website.
She sent him a letter telling Sean, who is now 26 but was 18 at the time and in a maximum security prison, that he had her support.
He served three years into a 10-year sentence after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in February 2014 in the Bexar County District Courts, San Antonio, Texas.
Sean wrote back and the pair sent letters to each other before speaking on the phone. Sean initially only allowed a five-minute phone call every 90 days.
Lucy didn’t expect to fall in love, but their friendship blossomed into romance when Sean wrote “I love you” in Spanish in one of his letters.
She says: “I sent three letters of support and got a response from Sean.
“Our relationship progressed naturally, the tone of our letters changed.
“Sean wrote a letter and said ‘go translate this’ and it said ‘I love you’ in Spanish – from then on we were official.
“I see a future with him. He is my best friend and we hope to get married one day.”
Recalling the day he received Lucy’s letter in 2017, Sean, from San Antonio, Texas, says: “I was very happy.
“She said she was reaching out to people who were on the website.
“Lucy said she liked my photo and profile, so she decided to write to me.”
The couple continued to write letters back and forth, occasionally receiving a phone call every 90 days if Sean behaved well enough for the privilege.
Lucy says the first phone call was “awkward” but the pair continued to communicate.
She added: “Because of his level of security, there were people listening and standing by him.
“We were both very nervous and talking over each other, it was very awkward.”
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After the first phone call, the couple made their relationship official in May 2018.
After a year of dating by letter and phone, the couple met in person for the first time in February 2019, on Sean’s 21st birthday, in the prison visiting room and spent four hours talking “non-stop”.
Lucy remembers the 5,000-mile journey from her home in Essex to San Antonio, Texas.
She says: “That was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life.
“Every fiber in my being told me to get back on the plane and go home.
We didn’t know whether we were going to fully kiss or peck
Lucy Patterson
“It was nerve-wracking and we had a big glass screen in front of us; the visit lasted four hours.”
At first, Lucy only told her friends and a few family members about Sean; her mother only found out she was in a relationship with him when he was out of prison and visiting Britain.
Lucy says: “They knew about his existence and how I wrote to him, but I didn’t tell anyone it was a relationship for at least five years.
“When I told people, it was just some of my closest friends.
“Last year I told some of my family, but it wasn’t until Sean was in the UK that I told my mother: she took him in as if she were one of her own.”
When Sean was released in August this year, Lucy flew over to meet him.
She explains: “It was a bit awkward at first.
“We didn’t know whether to fully kiss or peck – it was a bit of a chameleon kiss.
“It felt very natural to be with him – this is my best friend.”
Speaking about reuniting with Lucy, Sean says: “It’s the best feeling ever – I was so relieved to be away.
“It was an exciting day – Lucy is caring and loyal.
“She was there when I needed someone when there was no one else for me.”
British prison brides
- Tracey Bottomley married double murderer Ernest Otto Smith in the US after meeting through a pen pal initiative in prison. Tracey, from West York, knew he had been given a life sentence with no chance of parole
- Rebecca Shortfrom Oxfordshire, told her family she was on holiday in the US in 2022. They didn’t know she was getting married to double murderer Manuel Ovate Jr, who was on death row
- Paula Williamson an actress who appeared in Hollyoaks and Emmerdale, married the infamous Charles Bronson in 2017 after they became pen pals
- Karen Charves married Kenny Richey in 2014 while on death row. He was convicted of setting a fire in 1986 that killed his ex-girlfriend’s two-year-old daughter. Karen and Kenny’s union did not last long and she claimed he was abusive.
- Naomi Wisefrom Essex, married Victor Oquendo, nicknamed Animal, while serving a 24-year sentence in a US prison. They split in 2022 but have now rekindled their romance
Despite the distance, the lovebirds vow to keep their relationship alive and hope to get married in the future, splitting their time between Britain and the US on holiday visas.
The couple says they would like to tie the knot but are in “no rush”.
Lucy says: “I can’t work in the US and he can’t work here.
“We will always go back and forth, there is no plan to stay in any country.
“We have no children, I own my property – we have no ties to keep us in one place.”
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