I’m jealous of my childless sister – people say I made my own ‘bad decisions’
A MOTHER OF TWO has received mixed reactions after she expressed jealousy over her sister’s childless lifestyle.
The woman shared how jealous she was that she could book a holiday on her own without having to worry about her children.
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In a after On Mumsnet, the anonymous user said she and her sister are about the same age, but their family situations are different.
“My sister is a few years younger than me, [we’re] both [in our] “I’m in my late 30s and don’t want kids,” she wrote.
The poster said that she is sometimes jealous of her sister’s lifestyle.
“She earns very well and decided to spontaneously book a last-minute solo holiday this weekend,” she explains.
“I’m a mother of two children, but I wouldn’t think of doing that.”
The mother added that she enjoyed the trips with her children, but was still jealous of her sister’s last-minute vacation.
“I mean, we have lovely family holidays, of course, but I did get a little jealous when she told me she had booked a solo trip,” she said.
Although the mother acknowledged that her sister had a free choice not to have children, she made no reference to people struggling with infertility.
However, she did indicate that it was just a fleeting feeling of, ‘Oh, I wish I could do something like that.’
She also shared how grateful she was to have two children in her life.
“I love my children so much and would never want to live without them. Being a mother means everything to me,” she said.
“It was just a moment of, ‘Imagine if you could do that.’”
Mumsnet users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.
“Hundreds and hundreds of decisions over the years have brought you to where you are today, so your situation is your choice,” wrote one reader.
“If you are truly jealous, it could mean that you have made some bad decisions that have led you to somewhere you don’t want to be.
Why Being a Friend Without Kids Isn’t As Easy As Everyone Thinks
By Josie Griffiths, Deputy Editor of Fabulous Digital.
Josie Griffiths said: We get it, having kids is tiring.
And yes, there are a lot of benefits to not having vacations: sleeping in on the weekends, more disposable income, the freedom to make the holidays all about you. And believe me, I know it.
But when all your friends and family members are becoming parents, it’s actually not that easy to be the one who hasn’t taken the plunge yet.
My friends often tell me how their annual leave arrangements get in the way because their parents get to decide first all summer, or how they worry that their best friends won’t come to their wedding now that they’re parents.
It’s not out of the blue either: five of our friends, including one of whom my husband was best man before he started a family, declined to attend our wedding due to sick children and other child-related issues.
The truth is that once people have children, life becomes all about them.
And although those little ones are of course cute and we spend many weekends visiting them, there is still a thought that sometimes nags at the back of my mind: that we have become second-class citizens.
Not only are you expected to constantly accommodate the kids’ nap times and swimming lessons, but the things that interest you most suddenly become ‘frivolous’, met with an eye roll and a ‘must be fun’ response.
Because I really want children myself, I hope this is a temporary pain. But if we had fertility problems, I know it would be a hundred times harder.
I have friends who are in that situation, and my heart breaks for them.
And I also have friends who have decided not to have children, for very well thought out reasons. Those friends should never feel like their lives are less important than others.
When it comes to people who consciously choose not to have children, we all need to learn to celebrate their successes more, whether it’s renting their own apartment on one income, getting a promotion, or taking a sabbatical to travel the world.
But there are downsides: they are only whispered over a glass of wine in restaurants and shared in private WhatsApp conversations, rather than being shared widely on social media.
“If you’re just talking about that little feeling of ‘I wish I could do that,’ then everyone has that sometimes, because every situation has pros and cons.”
“It would be unwise to treat them differently or behave differently towards them because of how you feel,” someone else noted.
“You can acknowledge how you feel, but you can also realize that they are not doing anything wrong.”
“You chose your own life, just like your sister chose hers,” said a third Mumsnet user.
“I understand wanting to get away from your responsibilities. Two small children can be quite a challenge and sleep deprivation doesn’t help,” said another commenter.
